That Happens Sometimes
by FrostedFangirl7413
Summary: Clint and Steve are trying to teach Thor how to peel an orange, but he just won't get it! ...And then he (sort of) does, and chaos is brought forth. "OH MY EYE HOW IT BURNS!" Crack fic! No slash! Mild romance! This fic has evolved into a Thor vs stuff story. If this sounds interesting to you, click here! I am not to be held responsible for death by too much laughter or lack of air.
1. Thor vs the oranges, part one

**Hello there! I am back! ehehe, so my brain had been exploded by homework and I was feeling really silly, and I was rambling to my sister, and I was peeling and orange and it squirted juice into my eye! And it hurt, like, so much! So I just had to write this! I hope you like it! XD**

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It was a lazy day in the Avengers Tower, with Clint and Steve trying to show Thor how to peel an orange. Unfortunately for their efforts, Thor kept brutally destroying the fruits no matter how hard he tried.

"Why won't the skin of this exotic fruit come free?!" The Thunder god cried, smashing yet another orange.

"Stop, Thor, you're using to much strength," Steve explained. Thor's face contorted with concentration as he tried (for the umpteenth time) to peel the orange. This time it didn't fall apart, but the moment he dug his nail under the skin, it squirted orange juice into his eye.

"HELP! MY EYE! OH HOW IT BURNS! THE LITTLE ORANGE BALL IS ATTACKING ME!" Thor boomed in agony, and Clint could have sworn that the building shook as if it threatened to collapse.

"Yeah, that happens sometimes," The archer said in an attempt to pacify the god. But Thor was on a roll.

"KILL IT! IT MUST DIE! I WILL DEMOLISH IT AND SPILL IT'S BLOOD ON THE BATTLEFIELD! AND ALL OTHER ORANGE BALLS OF HORROR WILL TREMBLE BEFORE MY WRATH!" Clint wasn't imagining things anymore.

"AND THEN WE SHALL FEAST IN CELABRATION OF MY GREAT VICTORY, FOR I WILL HAVE RIDDED THE WORLD OF THOSE **MONSTERS**!"

There was a crash outside, and Steve and Clint rushed to the nearest window. The A that had not yet been fixed since the attack had been dislodged by Thor's yelling and now lay in sparking pieces on the street. The two exchanged a glance before yelling "IT'S ALL THOR'S FAULT!" and fleeing the scene.

The god watched as they ran away, and not five seconds later a furious Fury burst in the door.

Thor gulped.

Fury glared.

Thor ran.

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The next morning, after receiving a lecture and strict orders not to yell **at all** Thor went to the cabinet that held his precious pop tarts. The door didn't open.

"O voice with no body that looks after this dwelling, why can I not eat my wonderful pop tarts?" Thor asked.

"I have been forbidden by mister Fury to allow you access to the cabinet. Perhaps you would like to try something else?" the AI said.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO O! I AM **DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED**!" Thor screamed.

All the widows within twenty feet shattered.

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**And finished! ...Or is it? I had fun writing this, maybe I'll have more:) Please tell me what you think, I'd love to hear from you!**

**Please review! If you don't, Thor will squirt orange juice in your eye! *gasp of horror* (and it hurts too!)  
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	2. Thor vs the oranges, part two

**Yay! I have officially decided to continue this! Thanks to kimbee and special agent Ali** **for reviewing my last chapter :) Thanks also to my sister, who gave me the idea for this story. Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers.  
**

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After the whole orange fiasco, the Avengers decided that Thor needed to be taught for good how to peel and orange, so he didn't frustrated and destroy the tower. However, Clint refused to teach Thor, Steve politely declined, Natasha would just kill Thor, Bruce would most likely hull-out, and Tony...well, let's just say everyone would be lucky if something just blew up. That left one person left. The only person that was used to Thor's ignorance and might be able to teach him.

Loki.

Yes, Loki was living in Stark Tower. It was his punishment to help clean up the city, and his magic was getting the job done fairly fast. The Avengers soon discovered that when he wasn't trying to take over the world, Loki wasn't actually that bad.

And so that is how it came to be that Thor and Loki were in the kitchen each with an orange. Thor smashed his.

"No no, Thor, you have to do it like **this**." Loki said, proceeding to peel his orange in a tiny, smooth spiral that came off in one long piece.

"Loki, you know I can't do that," Thor said, pouting.

The God of Mischief smirked at him. "Of course I know, but it is so interesting to see your face when **I** do it,"

Thor's frown deepened, and he clenched his fists. But he had forgotten that he had picked up another orange to practice on, and it squirted everywhere in his grip. Loki suddenly cried out in pain and held a hand over his eyes.

"Brother! Are you alright?" Thor asked, panicking. Loki hissed, pulling his hand away from his irritated eyes.

"Oh, I'm perfect!" Loki snarled sarcastically. Thor beamed with relief. He still didn't understand sarcasm.

The hiss deepened into a growl, and Loki delivered a ninja kick to Thor's chest, sending the off-guard god out the window.

"**LOKI WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!**" Thor screamed as he fell. All the windows he passed while yelling this shattered, not to mention the one he was thrown out of.

Landing more or less unharmed (he's a god, for goodness sake!) He back into the lobby to find a **very** furious Fury, an annoyed demi-god, and the rest of the Avengers. All glaring at him.

"Um...That happens sometimes?"

The Avengers plus Loki and Fury attacked.

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Thor lay moaning in bed, with a black eye and several bruises. He was also forbidden to try to peel, look at, eat, or even think about oranges. If he did, Fury threatened, he would meet his doom.

And so here he sat, trying to enjoy his pop tart (he hadn't been banned from them, not after last time) and very unhappy. After having helped the Avengers take their revenge on Thor for shattering their windows, Loki had become officially friends with them. Thor thought Loki was so happy to be included that he would not try to take over the world. That, at least, was a plus.

Just then there came a shriek, and then silence. Thor was getting a feeling of dread in the bottom of his stomach.

The door slammed open to reveal a very, very angry Miss Potts, who took no pity on his condition and whacked him repeatedly with her purse. "You broke my windows again! Do you know how much that's going to cost?! And you're killing all my oranges!"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" Thor screamed, trying to defend himself. The mirror in his room shattered.

Peppers eyes narrowed.

Thor trembled.

"THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES!" He wailed as the purse came down with renewed vigor.

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**And there you go! Thor shall battle fruit throughout the fic! I'm always open to ideas and prompts!**

**I will be updating regularly on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays, so keep your eyes open!  
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**Review! Or else Loki will kick you out a window! Do you want Loki to kick you out a window? No? Then review!  
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	3. Thor vs the bananas

**Hey there! Thanks to all of you who favorited and/or followed and/or reviewed! It all made me so happy! XD**

**I'm posting this chapter now, 'cause I'm not sure if I'll have the time later. So, without further ado, the next chapter!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Marvel or the Avengers.  
**

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Before anyone says anything, the banana incident was totally not Bruce's fault.

Yes, he took pity on Thor, who was black and blue (most of the damage was on Pepper's part), but he did not start any of the incident at all.

Really, all he had done was deliver Thor a tray of healthy food. The god would lose his godlieness if he kept on eating only pop tarts. So, he had sent up a tray that contained some soup and bread (he did not dare give much, or else the others would call him a traitor) and a banana. How could he have known that giving Thor a banana was a terrible idea?

But we are getting too far ahead of the story. Yesterday...

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Thor jumped slightly as someone knocked on his door. He had refused to come out in days, lest he be attacked again. After getting beaten with a purse he was being extremely cautious.

"You may enter," Thor said, twitching nervously. He was relieved when it was only Bruce who opened the door.

"Hey, I thought you might need some food, since you've been hiding here for a while," The Doctor explained with a small smile. He left the tray on the bedside table and left.

The Thunderer quickly ate, until only the banana was left. Picking it up, Thor tried bitting it, gagging when he tried to swallow the bite, which included the peel.

There was an amused chuckle, and Thor looked up to see Loki standing in the door frame, giggling.

"Did you really just try to eat a banana with the peel on?" The younger god choked out.

"Do you know how to prepare this strange food? Pray tell," Thor muttered. Loki just laughed harder.

Angry, Thor clenched his hands. Much like the last time, he was still holding the banana, and it exploded into yellow-white mush that covered Thor. Loki's giggles were renewed.

"Oh Thor, that's just hilarious! You are constantly being bested by innocent fruit! Even I can do better than that!"

Thor threw the food tray at Loki, who teleported away at the last minute. Thor scowled and picked up the tray to take it to the kitchen. The god dropped the tray off in the sink, and was about to leave when he noticed some of the strange yellow food that he had smashed earlier. Intent on figuring out the secret of it, he picked a banana and examined it. Loki had mentioned it having a 'peel' like an orange. Carefully, he dug his nail into the skin and pulled.

Of course, we know much more effective ways to peel a banana, but for Thor's purposes, it worked.

"YES! I HAVE CONQUERED THE STRANGE YELLOW FOOD!" Thor yelled in triumph, throwing up his hands. Unfortunately, he was still holding the newly peeled banana, and this movement sent the fruit flying through the air, to land on Natasha, who had just entered the kitchen.

The Black Widow slowly wiped the goop out of her eyes to glare at Thor, who quivered like a cornered rabbit when he saw what had happened. Then she attacked.

"WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME!" Thor wailed as Tony came in from his workshop with a cup of coffee in hand, which suddenly exploded because of Thor.

"NO! Why did you do that, Point Break?! My coffee! You shall suffer!" Tony screamed before joining the assassin in bashing Thor further.

Just then, Clint also came to the party (accidentally, of course). He was about to say something to the two attacking Thor, but just as he opened his mouth to talk, he slipped on a banana peel that Thor had dropped and fell on the floor. Hard. He saw the banana in Natasha's hair, the shattered mug, the peel he had slipped on, Thor covered in mush, and put everything together. He sprang off the floor and joined the assault on the god, yelling a battle cry of "Thor, you *****!"

Needless to say, after the three finished with him, Thor didn't come out of his room for a week.

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**There ya go! :) Though Thor conquered the banana at the end, but the fruit still took it's revenge ;)**

**This story shall consist of Thor trying (and mostly failing) to peel, chop, open, and eat fruit. (by the way, I'm sure some of the the fruits are in Asgard, but being a prince, Thor never prepared the food, just ate it.)  
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**As always, I am completely open to ideas, prompts, and fruit requests. Feel free to contact me :)  
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**Please know that every time you review, I will be hopping around the house in childish joy. Also know that if you don't review, Thor will come and break your favorite mug with the power of having a really loud scream. (mwahahaha...)  
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**Ta ta, and I'll see you on Sunday!  
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	4. Thor vs the tomato

**Hey all! So here's the next chapter, the chapter you've been waiting for! Mwhahaha!**

**'Kay, just kidding:) Anyway, this chapter was a request from kimbee, who wanted to see Thor battle a tomato. I'll shut up now so you can read my awesomeness. XD  
**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Avengers of Marvel. (boo hoo...)  
**

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As Thor had managed not to piss anyone off for a week, the other Avengers had decided to let him help out with dinner that night. Thor, relieved to have not been attacked in a decent while, had regained his usual personality and no longer acted like a kicked puppy. Currently Steve was cooking while Thor was chopping the salad.

"What is this strange food?" Thor asked, holding up a tomato.

"That?" Steve said, glancing over. "That's a tomato. It's a..." Steve struggled here, trying to remember if it was a fruit or vegetable. "It's...Just chop it up and put it in the salad."

Thor nodded and chopped the tomato. He was doing a pretty good job until he squeezed it a little to hard and a squirt of juice shot into his eye, making him drop the knife on the cutting board.

"AAAAH! MY EYE! WE ARE UNDER ATTACK! WE MUST KILL THE TINY RED BALLS OF HORROR!" Thor screamed, causing the glass milk jug Steve was carefully pouring to shatter, also getting bits of glass in the perfect meal he had been preparing. The meal that had been cooked just the right amount, the first meal he hadn't needed to ask the help of one of the others, the first meal he hadn't blown up...

"Thor!" Steve yelled in outrage. Crossing the kitchen, he lobbed a tomato in the god's eye, were it split open and got even more juice in his eye.

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH! MY POOR EYE! I AM BLIND! NOOOOOOOOO!**" Thor screamed, even louder. All at once, the kitchen windows, the glass spice jars, the glass mixing bowl, and Bruce's favorite ceramic mug broke, ranging from long jagged cracks to fine powdered glass chips.

At that moment the rest of the tower's occupants burst in. They all stood in stunned silence as they took in the shards of glass, milk on the floor, Thor sobbing in pain, and Steve looking ready to murder.

Finally, Bruce broke the silence.

"What happened?" He asked, sighing and rubbing the bridge of his nose.

Steve opened his mouth, but Thor beat him. "THE LITTLE RED BALLS ATTACKED ME!" He wailed.

Bruce went over to the cutting board and examined the tomatoes. "Thor, they didn't attack you, you just got some of the juice in your eye. Your going to be..." He was going to say "fine" but then he noticed his favorite mug in pieces on the counter.

"...dead." He finished turning to Thor with a glint of green replacing his usual brown. Tony, who saw the mug, jumped forward to place a hand on Bruce's arm.

"Whoa there, big guy. I can always get you another cup," Tony chided, but Bruce shook him off, still looking at the remains of the mug.

"No, you can't," he said sadly. "That was the cup that Betty gave me once for Christmas years ago, it was one of the few things I kept with me when I went to India. You can't replace it, ever."

There was a silence while all the Avengers thought about what Bruce had said. Suddenly Natasha struck out at Thor, preforming the Bastard Thigh Grip on the unfortunate god, spurring the others into action as they all—including Loki and Pepper—avenged the broken mug.

"MERCY, I BEG YOU!" Thor cried. "TWAS A MISTAKE! THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES!"

His efforts were futile. By the time Bruce's mug had been avenged Thor had sworn never to so much as look at a little red ball of horror ever again.

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**He he! So there it is! I hope you liked it:D  
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**...Maybe I'm being to mean to Thor. Am I being to mean? I suppose I could call it revenge on Thor for being such a terrible brother to Loki... ;)  
**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Like I said, I love feedback and I'm completely open to prompts and fruit requests!**

**And speaking of feedback, please review! Because if you don't, _bad things will happen!_ (Bruce didn't review my last chapter, and I warned people that if they didn't Thor would break their favorite mug, and behold! It has happened to Bruce! Don't make the same mistake!)  
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**I'll see y'all on Tuesday!  
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	5. Thor vs the pomegranate

**Greetings, dear readers! You're all amazing! ^.^**

**This chapter was suggested by my sister, I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain, who wanted to see Thor deal with a pomegranate. Hope it lives up to what you're expecting:)  
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**And now, back to the awesomeness! XD  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers. Haven't I already said this?  
**

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As punishment for breaking Bruce's mug, Thor had to try to find a replacement cup. However, no one trusted him enough to let him go to the store alone, so Tony had to go with him.

"Would this suffice?" Thor asked, holding up a Hulk mug.

"No, I don't think Brucie would like it," Tony said, going over the shopping list Pepper had given him.

Thor looked confused. "But it has himself on it," the god said.

Tony shrugged. "Bruce doesn't like to talk about the Other Guy much, and I doubt he'd like a mug with him on it." Thor pouted and looked around at the other cups.

Tony continued to collect the items on the list until Thor interrupted him again. "How about this one with the Bilgesnipe on it?" Tony looked over to see Thor holding up a Christmas mug that had Santa and his reindeer on it.

"Yeah, get that one for Bruce," Tony said, smirking. He finished up getting the other items and they went to the check out, where Thor took to asking him what everything was as it passed him on the conveyor belt.

"What is that red thing?" the god asked as a pomegranate passed him.

"That's a pomegranate, type of fruit," Tony said, getting annoyed. "If you shut up now, I'll show you how to open one when we get home."

Thor, ever eager, did shut up, and it felt soooooo good not to have a god blabbering in his ear all the time. Finally they got back to Stark Tower, and Tony had forgotten his promise to Thor. He was unpacking the shopping bags while Thor stood next to him.

"What d'you want?" Tony asked when Thor kept following him around.

"You promised to show me the secrets of the pomegranate," Thor pressed.

Tony groaned. "Dude, I'm busy, can't you go bother someone else?" But Thor refused to go away, so he finally said "Fine, I'll show you how, but after that you leave me alone, got it?" Thor nodded eagerly as Tony took out a pomegranate and opened it, saying "So you cut the top off, and then you need to make a kind of groove to make it easier to open, then you just pull it apart." Tony explained, then gave another pomegranate to Thor.

The thunder god watched, confused. He looked at Tony's pomegranate, then at his, and twisted the two halves off without hardly any effort at all, and the seeds were sent all over the floor. Thor dropped the halves in surprise, where they fell on the floor and sprayed juice that went everywhere, but mostly on Thor's clothes.

"WHAT HORRID CREATURE HAS STAINED MY LOVELY CLOTHES?! THE POMEGRANATE SHALL PAY!" Thor yelled in anger. His scream caused the remaining seeds to burst, and more juice splattered on him. Tony was laughing.

"DISGRACEFUL THINGS! I WILL HAVE MY VENGEANCE!" At that moment Loki came in.

"What happened to you, Thor," Loki snickered. "You're looking rather purpley-red right now."

"THE STRANGE POMEGRANATE ATTACKED ME, BROTHER!" Thor wailed. Loki just rolled his eyes.

"Thor, how many times do we have to tell you that fruit does **not** attack you?" Loki shook his head.

Thor frowned, but just then the door opened again, and Pepper came in. "Tony, did you get everything on that list—" She stopped suddenly when she saw the room, covered with pomegranate juice and Thor looking guilty.

"**Thor!**" Pepper yelled, eyes narrowed and brandishing he purse. "My beautiful kitchen!"

* * *

On the ground floor the door bell rung, and Clint answered it. A man with a package stood outside, and Clint grinned, knowing it was more of his arrows. He was signing when Thor ran past him into New York, followed closely by Pepper, who was hitting him with her purse. As they passed, the delivery man's eyes widened in confused horror. Clint sighed.

"That happens sometimes." the archer explained to the flabbergasted man, who nodded quickly before fleeing the madness of Stark Tower.

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**Yup! Don't mess with Pepper's Baby! XD**

**Pepper also likes reviews. Don't review, and she WILL hit you with her purse.  
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**Thor: And it hurts! Review, mortals! Escape my fate! For I am doooooomed!  
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	6. Thor vs the coconut

**Ah! Hello, faithful readers and first time readers alike! Even those who don't like this, welcome!**

**The Avengers have gone to Hawaii! I've never been there myself, so if I get something wrong, or if there are no coconut trees there, or if a palm tree isn't the same as a coconut tree, I apologize ahead of time. My awesomeness awaits!  
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**Disclaimer: Fun Fact! I don't own the Avengers. Any questions?  
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The Avengers were on vacation. They weren't supposed to be on vacation, but if you wanted to go on one, all it took was a quiet word in Tony's ear, and you would be anywhere you wanted. When Natasha had mentioned how great it would be in Hawaii, Tony had insisted that they all go, including Thor (who still got the evil eye from Pepper) and Loki (who was pretty much neutral by now). Bruce was back on speaking terms with Thor because of the mug ("Yes! I knew you would like the goblet with the bildsnipe on it!"), though still wary. And that is how they all ended up on a tropical island in the pacific.

Currently, Thor was asleep under a palm tree, while Loki and Steve held a chess tournament nearby. Loki was, of course, winning, though Steve managed not to utterly fail like most people, which made him Loki's favorite person to challenge.

Thor, on the other hand, was dreaming of bashing the little red and orange balls that had caused him much humiliation, but in the dream the colorful balls were winning, which was just **sad**. One of the orange ones got a lucky shot and landed on his head, hard. At that moment Thor woke up, realizing that he had in fact been thumped on the head. He picked the large hairy-ish brown ball in confusion.

"Friend Steve, what is this?" Thor queried, holding the object up. Steve glanced over.

"That? That's a coconut." Steve said, then went back to his game.

A flicker of recognition passed over Thor's face. "Ah, like that milky substance called coconut milk! It is fabulous!" the god declared. Steve sighed.

"Yes, Thor, the liquid is inside it." He said, still concentrating on the board before him. Thor, wanting to have some of the coconut milk was trying to open it up. It didn't. How could it defy his amazing strength?! Thor tried again. He failed again.

Finally in frustration Thor threw the coconut and another tree. At least, that was what he had intended, but it bounced of Steve's head instead, knocking him out. Loki turned to Thor indignantly.

"You knocked out my opponent! Now how am I supposed to play?!" He snarled. "Thor, you idiot!"

The mighty Thor shook in fear when faced with his little brother's wrath. "IT IS NOT MY FAULT!" Thor screamed, desperate to defend himself. The ceramic chess pieces shattered.

"**Thor!**"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! PLEASE! I DIDN'T MEAN TO! THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES!" Thor wailed as Loki pulled out a throwing knife that embedded itself in the tree next to him, effectively pinning his cape to the tree.

"Exactly! That happens **too many** times, not **sometimes**!" Loki screeched, throwing another knife that landed right by Thor's ear.

"**WHYYYYYY MEEEEEEEEEEEE?!**" Thor wailed as Loki continued to use him as target practice. Just then Clint came up to them.

"Hey, Loki—what happened to Steve?" Clint asked, just noticing the captain's prone form.

"Thor knocked out my opponent with a coconut, then shattered my chess pieces. He makes lovely target practice." Loki said calmly. Clint smirked and pulled out his bow and joined Loki in outlining Thor with knives and arrows.

"THIS IS UNJUST!" Thor protested. Nobody listened to him.

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**He he! I hope you liked it! XD  
**

**Yeah, I am being kind of mean to Thor, and yes, everyone is rather dramatic, and YES, I know they're all pretty OOC. It's all part of the story. I also know that Thor isn't this much of an idiot, but whatever, it's funny. I suppose you'll just have to deal with it :P  
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**If you refuse to review, the small red and orange balls of terror will invade your dreams and attack you! Beware! You have been warned!  
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	7. Thor vs the durian

**Merry almost-Christmas! Happy Holidays! I'm so sorry I'm late, I was doing a Avengers marathon with my sister and my friend, both of whom helped out with today's awesomeness! XD I'm thrilled about the reviews and feedback I'm getting! I love knowing that so many of you like this! ^-^**

**This fruit is a special request of kimbee's, thank you so much for your support! :D Now, let the awsomeness commence!  
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**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers. The only profit I get out of this is the thrill of writing it and the happiness I get when people review. I do not make any money on this.  
**

**all of the Avengers: GET ON WITH IT!  
**

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Fury had not been happy when the Avengers plus Loki got back from their vacation. Least of all Thor for getting Steve knocked out and himself pinned to a tree.

"I did not give you permission to go on a leave!" Fury fumed in front of them. "And 'just because I was trying to kill the coconut' is no excuse!"

Finally the director let them go, and they went their separate ways. Thor went to the kitchen in search of his pop tarts, Loki to his room, Steve for a run, Natasha the trainings room, and Clint hung out in the game room.

Yes, Bruce has been left out because he did something entirely different. He went to the store and came back with a triumphant smile. In the lobby he found Thor happily devouring his pop tarts.

"Hey, Thor," He greeted. Thor nodded acknowledgement, so Bruce continued "I found this fruit at the store, they have them in India, I didn't know they had them here." Bruce pulled out the durian he had gotten, examining it fondly.

"What is this?" Thor asked, leaning in for a closer look. Then the smell caught up to him, and he gagged violently. "Beard of Odin! What is this monstrosity?!

Bruce's gaze hardened as he turned to Thor with a threatening look. Thor gulped.

"I rather like this plant!" He declared, bravely picking it up. Just then Loki came in, deep in a book. "Brother!" Thor cried, desperate to please Bruce. He bounded towards the trickster with the fruit.

"Gods of Asgard!" Loki shrieked when he caught the smell. Also seeing Bruce's expression he came up easily with and explanation. "It's one of the anti-magic fruits!" He lied, leaping out the window.

"BROTHER!" Thor yelled in grief. "I WILL SAVE YOU! DO NOT FEAR!"

He heard a Loki-like snort. "I am fine, you oaf, it's the ground floor. I have only to get away from the magic canceling fruit." Loki drawled in his superior tone.

"YOU ARE SAFE!" Thor cried again, this time in relief. Still determined to please Bruce, he also jumped out the window, again approaching Loki with the durian.

"I told you not to bring that near me! It cancels out my magic!" Loki said again. When Thor didn't go away, Loki turned and ran into the streets of Manhattan, with Thor chasing after him.

This went on for some time, much to several peoples' amusement. Eventually the chase ended up back at Stark Tower. Speeding up the stairs, Loki darted into the game room, where he found Tony, as well as Clint. Much to the archer's confusion, the god jumped behind him, trying to hide. He found out why a few seconds later when Thor burst in, still bearing the durian. Unfortunately for the trickster, Thor was not fooled by his attempts.

"Brother! I only request that you try it!" he said, approaching Clint and Loki. As soon as he caught the smell, though, Clint promptly fainted. Loki, realizing his shield had already been struck down by the horror of the durian, darted behind Tony now, who was laughing.

"Poor Clint can't stand Loki's sexiness," He chuckled, happy with any chance to make jabs at his teammates.

Thor ignored Tony in favor of Clint. "OH NO! I HAVE KILLED FRIEND BARTON! FRIEND NATASHA WILL SLAY ME!" He wailed. Unfortunately for him, this is what brought Natasha into the scene.

"What's going on?" She asked, glaring around the room until her eyes fell on the unconscious Clint. "What happened to Clint?" She growled. Thor, incapable of looking innocent, tried to sneak out of the room, but Natasha spotted him and the durian and put everything together.

"THOR!" The red-head screamed, furious. He froze.

"HAVE PITY ON ME!" Thor pleaded. "THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES!"

"Just because it's almost Christmas I'll let you off easy. But get rid of the durian now! And don't you dare ever come near Clint with one again!" Natasha commanded. Just then, Clint stirred and sat up.

"Wha...?" He said, shaking his head. Natasha pulled him off the floor then stalked off with him. As soon as she was gone, Thor hurried to get rid of the responsible fruit. As soon as he was gone, Loki shuffled out from behind Tony, who was bent over laughing at everything. Loki just sighed.

"That happens **a lot**." the unhappy god sulked. Tony laughed harder.

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**And now we bring in some mild Clintasha! ;) It's just mild, people, relax.**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed and will review(hint hint)! I hope you enjoyed the show! ^-^  
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**(insert creepy voice here) If you do not review the awesomeness of my story, you will be DOOMED to an eternity of smelling like durian!  
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	8. Thor vs the sugar plum

**And here it is! The Christmas special! Happy Holidays to you all!**

**This chapter was requested by The Night Princess, and I hope it lives up to what you were expecting :) I changed it to sugar plums (is it even a real kind of plum?) instead of regular plums...  
**

**And the reviews, dear Readers! So many amazing reviews! You all rock! I was thinking of having a bonus chapter as a reward where Thor fights either... A) toothpaste, B) an onion, or C) a radio. Please review of PM me your choice!  
**

**Disclaimer: By the beard of Odin! I don't own these people!  
**

* * *

"No! I don't wanna go! Brucie, you understand, make her understand!" Tony whined as Natasha dragged him out of the tower. She had insisted that they all go see the Nutcracker. And that included Tony. Bruce just shook his head at his science partner's immature behavior. He got willingly into the car and chuckled as Natasha shoved the billionaire into the shotgun seat while he protested. Clint, who had wanted to fly there in the quinjet, was moping next to him. Alongside him Loki was seated, with Thor and Steve squished in the back row.

"Shut up, Tony!" Natasha snapped at the still protesting genius. "You are coming and that is final, so stop complaining!" The ginger sped through traffic, which was quite impressive, considering that it was, well, traffic. Soon they had arrived at the theater, and Natasha pulled Tony out of the car and up the stairs, with the others tagging along behind.

* * *

An hour and a half later they came back out, Natasha looking happy. The others followed behind, with varying levels of boredom and interest. On the way back Thor said, "What are the sugary plums that had a fairy?" getting him looks of amusement and confusion.

"The sugar plum fairy? Sugar plums are these really sweet plums," Loki, who was used to his brother's odd questions, explained. "Really sweet. I never want another again."

"May I try this sugary plum?" Thor asked eagerly. Loki rolled his eyes.

"Bug Stark about it," Loki said, redirecting the question. Tony looked back at Thor.

"Fine." The billionaire huffed. Thor bounced in his seat all the way back. Once there, Thor took to trailing Tony until he agreed to show him the sugar plum.

"Now stop annoying me," Tony said as he handed the fruit to Thor.

The god nodded and bit into the fruit eagerly. He finished it in seconds, before his eyes widened. "MY TEETH! THEY ACHE! IT IS THE FAULT OF THE SUGARY PLUMS!" He yelled.

Tony laughed. "Yeah, shoulda warned you. They're **really** sweet," he said in between chuckles.

Thor rushed to the sink and shoveled water in his mouth to wash out the sweetness, getting water all over the floor in the process. Eventually he stopped, having washed enough of the taste away for it to be bearable. He took a step forward, only to slip on the water he had spilled, which had frozen, landing hard. Tony laughed harder.

"Yeah...that happens sometimes..." Tony said, tears in his eyes. Thor scowled and stormed away, leaving the genius to his amusement.

* * *

**Sorry it was a bit short...but hopefully funny! :P**

**Remember: A) toothpaste, B) an onion, or C) a radio. I look forward to the results!  
**

**I've been threatening for reviews, so I guess I'll try bribing this time. Review and you will get to pet the virtual kitty!  
**


	9. Thor vs the pineapple

**And here's the next one! This was a request from TheOnlyOneEv1D, and I hope you like it! ^-^ I will keep my talking to a minimum so you can read the awesomeness that is my writing ;)**

**Disclaimer: I have said this before, and I shall say it again. I don't own the Avengers!  
**

* * *

Tony stumbled into the kitchen at 5 AM and started ruffling through the refrigerator trying to find something to eat, finally pulling out a pineapple when he failed to find any cold pizza. Huffing, he went back down to his lab and continued to work, stopping several hours later when he heard someone entering the access code, and looked up to see Pepper.

"Tony, did you eat the pineapple I had in the fridge?" Pepper asked, looking exasperated.

"Maaaaayyyybbeeeeee..." Tony said. "Why?"

Pepper glared. "I'm making a pineapple up side down cake." She said.

Tony made the O.o face. "Yeah, sorry, I'll get you another!" He said desperately. Pepper sighed.

"Fine, go do that," She said.

"Yay!" Tony cheered. "I love your pineapple up side down cake!"

Pepper couldn't resist smiling at his childish behavior.

* * *

Tony came back in ten minutes, practically bouncing into the lobby in his excitement. Thor saw him and went over to see what was going on. "Man of Iron, what is it that excites you so?" He asked, eying the pineapple with confusion.

"Pepper's making a pineapple up side down cake!" Tony said happily.

"What is a pineapple?" Thor asked.

"This!" Tony said, holding the pineapple up with pride. Maybe if he wasn't so excited about the cake, Tony wouldn't have let Thor hold it. But he handed the pineapple to Thor anyway, who took it with interest.

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!**" Thor screamed as he held the spiky fruit, dropping it quickly on the ground. Tony covered his ears and looked at his newly installed window that were hopefully Thor-proof, and luckily they didn't break.

Just then Pepper entered. "Tony, did you get that pineapple...?" She trailed off as she took in the smashed pineapple and guilty Thor.

"Not my fault this time," Tony said helpfully.

Pepper glared at the thunder god, who gulped. "Thor..." She said dangerously sweetly. Thor ran out of the lobby, getting helped out with a whack of Pepper's famous purse..

Natasha came in a moment later, saying, "Hey, Pepper, you got that pineapple? We should finish the cake now, before the boys all try to eat it raw."

"Thor smashed it," Pepper said, gesturing to the pile of smashed fruit. There was a muffled gasp, and Clint fell out of the air vents.

"He did **what**?!" Clint yelled. "I was looking forward to that cake!" He pouted. "Where'd he go?"

"Out there," Tony said, pointing to the streets of Manhattan. An identical gleam entered their eyes.

"**Revenge!**" Tony and Clint cried together, charging out into the streets in search of Thor. Pepper and Natasha rolled their eyes, but they were smiling.

"Wait," Pepper said, but the two boys were long gone. She sighed and turned to Natasha. "Now who's going to get the pineapple?" She said, exasperated.

Natasha shrugged, then said with a knowing smirk, "Get Steve to do it. Tony and Clint won't be back for a while."

* * *

**hehehehehe! There it is! I hope you enjoyed it!**

**Also, my poll from last chapter got tied, 1, 1, and 1. So the poll is still open, and you still have a chance to vote! Please don't vote twice, that'll make it confusing.  
**

**Review and you can have some virtual pineapple cake! Sound good to you? Review!  
**


	10. Thor vs the watermelon

**Oh my Loki, I'm so so so so sorry for not updating on Sunday! I had just gotten back from a really long car trip at 11 PM and my muse had vanished during the car ride. Yes, I know, you wonderful readers don't want excuses. But for what it's worth, I _am_ posting another chapter today to make up for it! The poll for the non-fruit bonus chapter is now closed. Keep your eyes out for it, hopefully I can get it up soon. :)**

**Enough chatter. Proceed!  
**

**OH! And this chapter was requested by twilight-luver. If you're reading this, I hope it lives up to what you were expecting.  
**

**Disclaimer: Although I would love to say that I own the Avengers, I don't.  
**

* * *

It was an accident. All of it.

Thor had only been walking past the kitchen when he saw a rather large green rock. Having never seen anything of the kind, of **course** he wanted to investigate. It's only natural, right?

So anyway, he went over to the green rock. He tapped it, and it sounded hollow. Thor distantly remembered Tony once saying that some people had fake rocks they used to hide stuff. In Thor's mind, stuff=treasure. What else would someone want to hide? Excited, he tried to find a lid on it. He couldn't. He tried to open with force. It didn't open.

Around here Thor's thoughts turned something like this: _How dare this mortal rock defy my strength?!_ So, of course, he decided to use more strength, aka Mjnolir.

Natasha and Clint happened to walk in just as Thor brought his hammer down upon the unlucky watermelon. Natasha, who had entered in front of Clint, got watermelon juice all over her.

"Whoot! We have our own Gallagher! Do the watermelon smash!" Clint cheered. Natasha glared daggers at him and he shut up quickly.

"Friend Barton! Lady Natasha!" Thor greeted happily. The happy look vanished when he saw Natasha glaring at him.

"You got watermelon juice in my hair! Do you know how long it's going to take to get it out?!" She hissed. Thor, the slightly thick-headed person he is, just **had** to talk back.

"What is a watermelon?" He asked. Natasha growled and grabbed another watermelon and smashed it over Thor's head.

"Whoa!" Tony (who seemed to have magically appeared, don't ask.) exclaimed. "We got some anger management problems? Let's call Brucie!"

"Can it, Stark," Natasha snapped, wielding another watermelon threateningly. Tony and Clint backed away. Thor, meanwhile, was looking in horror at his golden locks of hair.

"This is a disaster! **LOKI!**" Thor screamed, and Loki materialized in the kitchen.

"What is it, Thor?" Loki sighed.

"Brother! Please, save my hair!" Thor pleaded. "Use a spell!"

"No."

"Brother, please? I will do anything!"

"Even go to Jotunhiem and bring me chocolate?" Loki asked with a smirk.

"Yes! Even that!"

"No."

"PLEASE? I BEG OF YOU!"

"No."

Thor sobbed, defeated. "Why not?" He asked.

"First of all, you can just go take a shower, why would I waste my magic on you? Loki replied mater-of-fact-ly. "...And secondly, there is a very scary Russian spy who will murder me if I 'save' your hair. So, no."

Thor, being the mature god that he was, ran out of the room screaming. Natasha raised an eyebrow at his antics.

"Isn't he suppose to be a god or something?" She asked Loki.

"Yup." Loki said, popping the p. "It's something with the Aesirs. I am actually glad to be a Jotun."

"All Asgardians are like that?" Clint asked. "Never going to Asgard."

"I second that motion!" Tony said heartily. "Now let's get coffee."

* * *

**There it is! I hope you enjoyed it! :)  
**

**As always, you are more than welcome to submit fruit suggestions and prompts through the review box or PMing me. Don't be shy! Come forth and submit your glorious ideas!  
**

**I will demand you to review, while speaking in Ibe. Ribevibeiew mibey stibeorribey, ibeor ibelse yibeoo wibeill bibee tribeampibeled bibey bibeildsnibeipe!  
**

**P.S. Ibe is a secret language where you put "ibe" in every syllible. If it starts with a vowel, you put "ibe" at the begining.  
**


	11. Thor vs toothpaste

**And I'm back! I hope this didn't take too long. I wrote the chapter, didn't like it, and started it all over again. But I got it done!**

**So in the poll toothpaste won! And here it is! If you didn't want toothpaste, I sincerely apologize. Hopefully you will still like the chapter.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers. Don't sue me for writing this.  
**

* * *

Tony had been dying to ask Thor this ever since the end of the Manhattan battle. Don't ask why, he just did. Now they all sat in the Shwarma joint, nobody saying anything. Until Tony broke the moment.

"Do gods have to brush their teeth?" Tony asked Thor, leaning forward slightly. Thor's eyebrows furrowed slightly.

"What exactly to you mean? I know not of what you speak." The thunder god said finally.

Tony gasped. "You guys don't?! You must have really bad breath!" he scooted his chair away from Thor's.

Thor still looked confused. He opened his mouth, but Tony cut him off. "Oh, you **so** are not staying in my tower if you don't brush your teeth!"

* * *

Thor looked down in confusion at the tube in his hand. There was nothing like this in Asgard!

Just squeeze the stuff in the tube onto the little brush, that's what Tony had said. Why did this seem more complicated? Thor squeezed the tube, and it exploded.

Part of this may have been because he hadn't taken off the cap. Another part my have been that Thor is really strong. Anyhow, Thor was now covered in white goop that smelled weird.

Just then Tony popped his head in. "How's it going, Point Break..." Tony stared at Thor and burst out laughing.

Thor huffed. "I do not see how this is amusing." He said stoutly. Tony wiped tears out of his eyes.

"It's...oh my god...that's just hilarious...!" Tony chocked out. Thor tightened his hands into fists, not realizing that he was still holding the not-quite empty tube of toothpaste.

More white goop exploded, this time getting on Tony as well, who yelled. The other Avengers and Pepper hurried in when they heard the yell, took one look at the duo, and burst out laughing.

"This isn't funny," Tony mumbled.

"Oh, yes it is!" Natasha said, crying with laughter.

"The Russian assassin has emotions!" Tony declared, managing to smirk, even though he was covered in toothpaste.

Pepper grabbed his arm and dragged him out, saying, "Go wash off. I refuse to have a toothpaste covered boyfriend." Eventually everyone dispersed, leaving Thor alone to wonder what he did wrong with the toothpaste.

* * *

**Yay! I wrote it! I hope you liked it :)  
**

**I shall now sign off. I am done writing for the day. See you on Thursday!  
**


	12. Thor vs the lemons

**Greetings, my fabulous readers! So many review and favs/follows! You guys make my day! XD**

**Just to clarify, the last chapter took place directly after the Manhattan battle. Sorry if it confused you.  
**

**This chapter was requested by Goddess of Mischief94 and kittythekatty, I hope you both like it :)  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers. There, I said it.  
**

* * *

Since Thor was the one who made the baking drawback*, he had to help out Natasha and Pepper with their next cake. No one trusted him with the oven, or any device of any kind, Thor was stuck with juicing the lemons for the Lemon Cake they were making.

Thor was humming something while he squeezed all the juice out of the lemons with his godliness. Natasha and Pepper were glad he wasn't bugging them.

Of course, that changed.

"I have run out of the little yellow balls. With what now do you require my assistance?" Thor said happily as he thrust the last of the juiced lemons in the compost. The red heads exchanged terrified looks, trying to think of something that would keep Thor out of their hair.

"This recipe needs lemon zest, why don't you grate these?" Natasha said quickly, pulling out more lemons and the grater and demonstrating for Thor what should be done with the yellow balls and the metal thing. Thor caught on and went on with his humming while he grated the peel.

Pepper sighed in relief and shot Natasha a thumbs up. Nothing was being blown up yet.

Thor, off in his own little la la land, didn't notice when his hand got too close to the grater and he accidentally grated his knuckle. Thor grunted in annoyance and kept going, rearranging his hand, but he got lemon juice in the cut.

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**" Thor screamed in pain, dropping the mortal things. Natasha and Pepper's heads snapped up to see who was attacking this time. The Thor-proof windows shook dangerously, but thankfully didn't break.

"MY HAND! IT IS IN SO MUCH PAIN! MAKE IT STOP! AAAAAAAAAH! THE PAIN IS BLINDING!" Thor wailed. Pepper hurried over.

"What happened, Thor?" She asked gently, looking over the cut. She bit back her anger when she saw it was a tiny scratch. Anger turned into pity as she realized that he had gotten lemon juice in the cut. "Oh...I'm so sorry, Thor! It was the lemon juice!"

"It burns if you get it in a cut. It happens sometimes," Natasha supplied, trying not laugh at the enraged look that came into the god's eyes.

"I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!" Thor screamed just as Loki entered.

"I thought I heard you, Thor," Loki said, amused. "What happened this time?"

"BROTHER!" Thor greeted happily. "HELP ME DESTROY THE RACE OF MONSTEROUS YELLOW BALLS!"

Loki raised an eyebrow as he smirked. "You can't kill an entire race," He said.

"WHY NOT, BROHTER?" Thor asked, still furious.

"Funny, I recall you telling me the same thing when I wanted to destroy the Frost Giants," Loki remarked. Thor looked guilty.

"How about the boys step out of the kitchen while we finish this up," Natasha said, pushing the gods out of the room so that they could finish.

* * *

*In case you don't know what I'm talking about, see chapter 10

**There you go! *takes bow* I hope it was enjoyable!**

**Yo, peoples! Feel free to come tell me what you want to see! I won't be judgey!  
**

**Please review? *gives puppy dog eyes* I'll love you forever!  
**


	13. Thor vs the pumpkin

**Yay! I'm so happy with how this turned out! It's about 800 words long, and most of my chapters are 400-700 words long, so this is pretty long! And thank you so much to everyone who favorited/followed/reviewew! It makes me so happy!  
**

**This is a request from my sister, I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain, who is awesome! Go check out her stories, we're writing one together, called _Loki and the Avengers_. Please R&R!**

**Also, I would like to point out that most of these have no certain order, although some may reference others. This one is in october.**

**Enough chatter, continue on to my awsomeness!**

**Disclaimer: *sniff* I don't own the Avengers. *sniff***

* * *

"I got pumpkins!" Tony yelled as he ran into the kitchen, bouncing up and down in front of Pepper.

"Tony, stop, before you make me dizzy." She said, clamping her hands down on Tony's shoulders. He kept wiggling like an overexcited kid.

"Come oooooooooooon, Pepper, we're going to carve pumpkins!" Tony insisted, grabbing her hand and pulling her off as he spread the message. In other words, he ran around the tower screaming about the pumpkins, to meet on the roof, and how his was going to be so good, it would make every other jack o' lantern look like a two year old did it. Naturally, the residents of Stark Tower rose to the challenge.

When everyone had gathered on the roof, tarps and pumpkins and carving knives were spread around. Natasha grabbed Clint to be her partner. Tony joined elbows with Bruce and, still holding Pepper's hand, dragged them over to another pumpkin. Loki swept off to do his on his own and Thor, still confused, asked Steve, "What exactly is going on, friend Steve?"

The Super Soldier was smiling, this was something he actually knew how to do. "We're carving pumpkins. You can team up with me, seeing as how everyone else has taken a buddy." Thor nodded, and they made their way to an unoccupied squash.

"Throw the pumpkin guts in here!" Tony said, gesturing to the bowl beside his team and dumping a handful of gunk into it. Clint, Natasha, and Loki chose to toss the gunk through the air rather than walk over and put it in. Steve, ever the role model, walked his gunk over **to** the bucket.

* * *

Clint frowned as he took the last of the guts out. "What should we do?" He asked, "It should be scary," He and Natasha shared a look before breaking out into identical evil grins.

"Fury!"

* * *

"I am not aware of this procedure," Thor said as they dumped the rest of the gunk.

"You use these knives to carve faces into the pumpkins," Steve explained. "At night, you put candles in them to make them light up. Usually they have a scary face."

Thor's eyes lit up like a jack o' lantern. He was liking the sound of this.

* * *

Loki smirked as he started to carve his pumpkin. He knew just what to do.

* * *

"We're going to make a Hulk pumpkin!" Tony declared, still squiggling excitedly.

Bruce frowned. "Tony, no." He said.

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?" Tony pleaded with him.

"No."

"Yay!"

"No, Tony! I didn't say yes..." Bruce sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose as Tony started. Well, if you couldn't beat them, join them.

* * *

"I declare the time limit of this awesome jack o' lantern contest over!" Tony yelled the second their pumpkin was done. Everyone rolled their eyes.

"You never said this was a contest," Steve pointed out. Tony shrugged.

"Plans change." He said simply. "And now, I introduce to you, out Hulkey-kin!" Tony said with a flourish, presenting the pumpkin.

"Now now, Tony, let's all set ours down in the middle, and then we can compare." Pepper said, taking the pumpkin out of his hands and setting it on the ground. Everyone else followed suit.

"Behold! Steve and I have created a master piece!" Thor said. Everyone looked at said pumpkin, which had the traditional scary face with the triangle eyes and all.

"Very...creative," Pepper said weakly, before hurriedly moving on. She took one look at Natasha and Clint's and burst out laughing.

Tony also saw it and took out his StarkPhone, snapping a picture of it and putting it up on Facebook. Steve and Bruce chuckled appreciatively and Loki smirked, while Natasha and Clint looked smug.

"Let us see yours, brother," Thor said. Loki's smirk widened as he rotated his pumpkin to face the others. Thor gasped, saying, "Loki!"

"What?" Loki asked innocently. "He is plenty scary, don't you agree?"

"Is that Odin..." Clint asked hesitantly.

"Yes, it is," Loki said calmly.

"But Loki!" Thor protested. Loki rolled his eyes and threw a handful of pumpkin guts in Thor's hair.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY HAIR!" Thor screamed, ambling blindly as he tried to get it out of his hair, accidentally stepping on Hulkey-kin in the process.

"**How dare you!**" Tony screamed, jumping up to avenge his poor Hulkey-kin.

"PLEASE! MERCY! IT WAS LOKI'S FAULT!" Thor protested, trying to shield himself from the wrath of Tony Stark.

"Did Loki step on my pumpkin?! I don't think so!" Tony retorted. The people present that were not engaged in the fight looked at Loki for an explanation of why Thor had blamed him. Loki shrugged.

"That happens sometimes." He said. He raised his eyebrows further. "A lot." He admitted. They sat down to watch the Thor vs. Tony battle while Loki conjured up popcorn.

* * *

**And there it is! ^-^ I hope you like it!**

**Tell me what you want to see! I love feedback, and I won't know if you want a certain fruit unless you tell me. :P  
**

**Review. *fingers Loki's scepter* Do you want me to get** **serious?**


	14. Thor vs the figurative peach

**Heh, this one isn't quite so long...but hopefully funny! ;) mwahahaha! Ya know, I'm really fond of doing evil laughter, but I can't do it in real life. :( it sucks.**

**Sooooo...this chappie is a request fill from kimbee, I really hope you like it! *-* ehehehe!  
**

**But you peeps don't want to listen to me ramble! ...or maybe you do. But I don't think most of you do, so let us proceed!  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the avengers. See! I have said it! What more d'ya want, Marvel?!  
**

* * *

Steve was in the kitchen reading the newspaper peacefully when a loud yell ruined his perfectly good morning.

"God dammit! Stupid coffee maker!" The voice was unmistakably Tony's. Who else would yell about coffee in the morning. He also did it in the middle of the night if he was working on a project.

Steve jumped about a foot in the air, glaring at the billionaire. "Tony, people are still sleeping, quiet down."

"But the coffee maker isn't working!" Tony pouted like a little kid.

"Tony, if you don't like the coffee maker, why don't you just make your own?" Pepper said as she came in yawning.

Tony got his slightly crazy 'I am going to build a rocket and send it to Pluto and start building a city there' look. Pepper groaned.

"Tony, don't—"

"That's such a great idea! I can add all these upgrades to make it cook eggs for me too!" Tony yelled excitedly and running off to his lab.

Pepper sighed and said, "Well, this is just peachy."

Thor entered just then, and his eyes lit up. "I am familiar with peaches! We have them on Asgard!" He said happily. "Tell me, where may these peaches be? I long for a familiar fruit!"

"There aren't any peaches around. It's just...a figure of speech." Pepper said uncomfortably. Thor looked confused.

"So...something is covered in peach?" He tried.

Pepper blinked. "Um...No...what made you think that?"

"You said that something was peachy. Therefore something must be covered in peach." Thor said like it explained everything.

"No, there are no peaches, it's a figure of speech meaning something that is great." Pepper said with strained patience.

"Then something is great?" Thor said.

"I was using **sarcasm!**"Pepper said, trying not to yell.

Thor lost it. "I DO NOT UNDERSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAND! IT IS MAKING MY BRAIN EXPLOOOOOOOOOOOODE!" He screamed, running away.

Steve watched all this in silence, eyebrows steadily moving upward. When Thor had his outburst, they disappeared completely into his hair. "This happens sometimes, Steve," he muttered to himself. "Get used to it."

* * *

**Thor didn't even have to touch a peach this time! :D  
**

**...there's always something I want to say in the author notes, but I can never remember what...  
**

**Review, please? *gives you the puppy dog eyes*  
**


	15. Thor vs the kiwi

**Hehe, It's me again! Hello there! Thank all and every single one of you for reading this, and especially those of you amazing readers who favorited/followed/reviewed! You guys and gals are the best in the world! *-***

**This chappie was requested by kimbee (I love you! You're awesome!), and I hope you like it! I'm rather happy with how it turned out. :) But now, you want to read my awesomeness, so continue forth!  
**

* * *

Pepper looked down at the kiwi in her hand. She was on a grocery run for the tower, since they were low on fruit, for some reason (cough*Thor*cough). Lately, any fruit Thor hadn't been introduced to yet had been destroyed, or something bad happened. Did she really want another catastrophe to happen?

Well...

No, but she was also craving kiwis. She bought them.

* * *

The first thing Pepper saw when she got back was Tony wandering around and muttering about coffee machines and if he should make one out of his gold titanium alloy so Steve and Thor wouldn't break it. Pepper seriously regretted telling him to make his own coffee machine.

The second thing was Clint struggling in a chess match against Loki in the kitchen. She walked over to the fruit basket and put the kiwis in it. Clint saw the kiwis and shot up. "Kiwis" He squealed like a kid and ran over. Loki frowned thoughtfully.

"While I do not doubt your eyesight, Barton, I know for a fact that those birds do not live here." He said, amusement in his voice.

Clint rolled his eyes. "I was talking about the fruit, Reindeer Games," He explained.

Just then, Thor came in. "What is this fruit you speak of, friend Barton?" He asked in his booming voice. Pepper, Clint, and Loki all exchanged worried looks. Before anyone could stop him, Thor crossed the room and popped the kiwi into his mouth. His eyes went wide.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! MY THROAT! IT SCRATCHES!" Thor wailed as the hairy fruit tickled his throat. The kiwi finally finished it's journey to Thor's bottomless pit, and Thor swore, his eyes watering. "HOW DARE IT! THE HORRIBLE LITTLE BROWN BALL! ALL IT'S KIN MUST DIE!" Thor screamed.

"Thor, that was a birds egg!" Loki lied quickly. "You wouldn't kill innocent birds, would you? It is not their fault that you ate one." Thor calmed down and Loki shot a glare at Pepper and Clint, who were trying hard not to laugh at his lie.

"Why then are their eggs so hairy?" Thor asked.

"It's to keep away things that might want to eat it, like you," Loki said like this was common knowledge.

Just as Loki was sure he had gotten Thor to let the matter drop, Thor's eyes darkened. "It matters not. They have attacked a son of Odin, they must pay!"

"You would kill innocent birds!" Clint spluttered in horror. Thor frowned.

"Yes," He said, not understanding the look of fury Clint was giving him.

"You **monster!**" Clint screamed, flinging himself at the god and attacking him. "It's no wonder Loki went mad!"

"I take offense to that," Loki muttered half heartedly. Clint ignored him in favor of murdering Thor.

"I am a son of Odin!" Thor protested. This only made Clint angrier.

"YOU THINK THAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO KILL INNOCENT SOULS?! YOU B****!" Screeched the enraged archer. It was about here that Pepper fled to get Natasha, who, being Natasha, arrived not long after.

"What's going on?!" She yelled loud enough to be heard. The brawl stopped abruptly.

Clint was the first to speak. "Thor wants to kill innocent birds!" He sobbed.

"I am the son of Odin!" Thor retorted. Natasha's eye twitched.

"And you think," She said in a deadly calm voice, "That you can just **kill** birds?!" Natasha joined the fight along with Loki. Pepper stood to the side.

"Welcome to the Avengers household," She muttered sarcastically. "Oh, and that happens sometimes. No need to worry."

* * *

**There you are! I hope you enjoyed the collection of words that I call my awsomeness. Great, now I sound like Gollum. _My awesomeness..._  
**

**As always, feel free to submit any ideas you have! I welcome your opinions!  
**

**Review, please! Was the threat of being trampled by bildsnipe in Ibe not good enough for you? Don't make me use Pig Latin!  
**


	16. Thor vs the sour apple

**Aaaaaaaand we're back! Thank you to ALL my dear readers, especially those of you who reviewed/favorited/followed! Each and every one of you rock! XD**

**Ahem, so, this fruit was requested by both paisly15 and kimbee, I hope you all like it! ALSO! A special shout out to AgentEquus, who drew a picture of a tiger for me on diviantart! Thank you so much!  
**

**I shall now shut my big gob and let you read my awsomeness.**

**Disclaimer: As much as I wish it were, I do not own the Avengers. *sigh* Moving on!**

* * *

Bruce stopped working and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He really needed a break, and possibly a snack. Apparently Tony was thinking along the same lines, because he suddenly moaned, "Fooooood, I need foooooooood," and clutched his stomach dramatically.

"No need to be melodramatic," Bruce muttered, "but yeah, food sounds good."

"I knew you would understand, Brucie!" Tony said happily. He bounded off to the kitchen with Bruce following behind much more calmly. By the time he arrived, Tony was stuffing his face with some of those really unhealthy chips. Bruce pulled an apple out of the fruit basket and bit into it.

Tony scoffed, saying, "That's you're idea of brain food? You, my dear friend, are going to be asleep in five minutes."

"Well, not everyone needs to slowly destroy their digestive system to work," Bruce said calmly.

"Greetings, friends!" Thor said as he thundered in (pun intended :P). The Science Bros froze, Tony still with his nose in the bag and Bruce half way through his bite. Thor saw the apple and lit up like a Christmas tree. "Apples! We have those in Asgard!" He announced, reaching for one of the fruits.

Bruce let out a sigh. Thor already knew about apples, so nothing could go wrong...

Tony huffed in relief, about to turn back to his chips when he caught Bruce's horrified look darting between Thor and the bright green apple...

Oh no.

That was one of Natasha's special apples, not because she had claimed them, but because she was the only one that could eat them. That was how sour they were.

It took a moment for the taste to hit Thor. Then his face contorted into pucker face not unlike the one Pepper made when she dragged Tony out of the lab when he'd been in there for days.

"**BLECK!**" Thor screamed, spiting out the half apple he had taken a bite of. He cursed in Norse for a while before finally switching to English. "WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THESE APPLES?! THE APPLES OF ASGARD ARE SWEET! THESE ARE POISONED!"

"No, Thor, they're just really sour...!" Bruce trailed off as Thor raised his hammer and smashed the offending apple (and the counter it was on), just as Pepper came in.

"**My baby!**" Pepper screeched staring in shock at the destroyed counter. "THOR!"

Thor tried to run. He did! But he didn't get very hard before the dreaded purse came down him repeatedly.

"THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES! HAVE PITY!" Echoed through the tower, startling Clint awake from where he had been sleeping in the air vents, and he jumped so hard he tumbled out the nearest vent right in front of Natasha, who would have been squashed by the archer if Thor's yell hadn't scared her a step back. Clint groaned and looked up at Natasha from his position on the floor.

"We kill him together?" He asked. Natasha nodded.

* * *

**Mwahahaha! I hope you liked it! :)  
**

**And, people, these fruits won't request themselves! Even if you aren't the first one to suggest it, I will mention you for thinking of it. Don't be afraid! How else will I decide on a fruit?  
**

**And now, the amazing reason you should review my awesomeness: BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!  
**


	17. Thor vs the grapefruit

**So, here we are again! It's always such a pleasure! :) Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed my story! You all get cookies! (::)**

**This chapter is a request from Kermit's Soft Kitty! I hope you like it!  
**

**On the assumption that you don't want to listen to me babble, I shall get to the awesomeness.  
**

**Disclaimer: There is a prophecy that I will own the Avengers when Hell freezes over! Yeah, I've got great chances of owning the Avengers before I die. :/  
**

* * *

Natasha sighed, and rubbed her temples. She was craving something sour, but Thor had (tried to) eat her last good apple. Grumbling, she shoved around in the fruit basket for a while. Blast! No lemons! There weren't even oranges (thanks a lot, Thor!), which weren't sour, but citrus was better than nothing. Suddenly she broke out in a smile, grabbing a grapefruit and leaning on the counter as she ate it. Ah, the lovely peace and quiet—

She spoke too soon.

Thor bounded in and saw her, coming over. "What is that, Lady Natasha?"

Natasha was about to snap at him, then realized that it was the perfect revenge. "It's a grapefruit," She said sweetly. "Would you like one?" Thor nodded happily, and she cut one open and gave in to him. He bit down eagerly, but almost instantly got wide eyes and spewed grapefruit juice.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH! IT TOO IS POISONED!" He screamed. With a pop, Loki appeared, sighing exasperatedly when he saw what was going on. Natasha saw him get a mischievous glint in his eyes. He sent her a wink.

"Thor, you should know better to eat poisoned food without the proper antidote," Loki said, walking calmly to the counter. "But if you eat it with the right magic ingredient, it becomes harmless." After ruffling around in the shelves for a while, he pulled out the sugar container. Natasha thought she saw a faint green glow fade from inside. Another almost invisible glow caught her eye coming from the salt container. She smirked. Loki had switched the salt and sugar with magic.

Meanwhile, Loki gave Thor the sugar jar, who shoveled a very large helping on his grapefruit and digging in again. His face screwed up again in disgust.

"**BLECK!**" Thor choked, spitting out the bite he had taken. He fled to the sink and washed his mouth out. Only Natasha's Assassin training prevented her from laughing. Loki, on the other hand, clucked disapprovingly.

"Thor, now that was just a waste of good antidote." He said sorrowfully, with a hint of mirth. "And that stuff most certainly doesn't come cheap." He winked at Natasha again.

The Thunder god looked slightly ashamed. "I...I-I'm sorry brother, I'm afraid that happens sometimes. I've lost my appetite anyway. I'll be going now..." And with that, the mighty Thor fled.

As soon as he was out of hearing distance, Loki and Natasha broke down. Loki's frame shook with silent sobs of laughter, while the assassin leaned heavily on the counter and giggled uncontrollably. Just then Tony entered, gave the two of them confused looks, and set about making coffee. Loki nudged Natasha, and winked again. They watched Tony prepare his coffee with a spoonful of sugar and sit down to drink it.

The second he tasted his coffee, he did a spit take, jerking so much the hot liquid spilled down his front.

"**Who did this?!**" He screeched. Loki and Natasha broke down again. Tony lunged at them, ready to deliver justice, but Loki teleported himself and Natasha away.

* * *

**Hello again! I hope that you enjoyed it! After all, if you didn't, why would I even write this awesomeness?  
**

**Request away! I'm horrible at deciding things! I need a steady list going here, guys! Or gals, or dudes, or whatever you wish to be titled by.  
**

**There is a prophecy that you will review my awesomeness! Obey the Oracle!  
**


	18. Thor vs the jicama

**Hey there! Here's the next one! This is a request from Pergjithshme, and I hope it is suitable! :)**

**Also, I know that jicama is NOT a fruit. Just saying that I know it isn't, but that's what this is.  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't want to be sued! I'm just a teenage girl! And I don't own the Avengers!  
**

* * *

Thor stalked around the tower, trying not to be spotted. Ever since the whole salt and sugar switch thing, Thor had been attempting to lay low. Looking on the bright side, he was practicing his ninja skills. Not that he had much. Mostly he liked to face the threat full on, so it was moments like these where he wished he knew how to sneak. Currently Bruce entered the room.

The god shuffled along the wall, but Bruce saw him (no surprise there).

"Hey, give me a hand here, will you?" Bruce asked, thrusting one of the many brown bags at Thor, and led the way up to the kitchen while Thor followed behind like a kicked puppy. "So, you doing anything?" The scientist asked conversationally. When Thor shook his head, he said cheerfully, "Good, you can help with dinner."

Bruce set Thor up with some potatoes and a knife (bad idea!) and went somewhere else. Thor brightened as he got to cut stuff up. Very soon, though, he ran out of potatoes. Looking around, he saw some things that appeared similar, so he took those and chopped them as well. He didn't seem to notice that these ones smelled and felt different.

Bruce came back and watched in confusion as Thor cut away. It took him a while to realize what was wrong.

"Thor! That's jicama! Not a potato!" Bruce cried, facepalming. Thor looked confused.

"What do you mean, friend Bruce?" asked the god.

Bruce ignored him in favor of getting all hyped up. "No! How many of those have you cut up! If it's all mixed in, I might have to throw it **all** out! This is a disaster!"

"I do not understand, friend Bruce..."

"This is a horrible waste of potatoes and jicama! A horrible waste of food!"

"I still do not comprehend..."

At this point Bruce shoved the chopped assortment Thor had created into the compost. Thor was left slightly stunned. Finally he found his voice.

"YOU HAVE DISCARDED MY FINE FEAST!" He bellowed.

"You were the one who mixed the potatoes and jicama together!" Bruce argued back.

Loki suddenly appeared between them, looking disheveled. He snapped, "Can I have no rest here without you yelling, Thor? I tire of this." Loki snapped his fingers and left as suddenly as he had came. Thor opened his mouth to protest...

...And he couldn't.

Thor tried furiously to yell at Loki, but he had no voice. Bruce broke out laughing at him, which just made it worse. Unable to express his anger verbally, he smashed the nearest thing, which was one of those potato things. One of the pieces flew into his mouth, and in his surprise, Thor swallowed it. And then gagged.

At least now Bruce showed some sympathy. "Don't like it? I must say, it takes some getting used to." And with that he left, leaving Thor to fume silently.

* * *

**Meh, I wasn't so fond of this one. I just couldn't seem to get it. Anyway, I hope you liked it! :)**

**As always, frutis, suggestions, ideas! They're all welcome!  
**

**Reviews, along with chocolate, are some of the best things in the universe. Write one, please!  
**


	19. Thor vs the over ripe mango

**Yes! *does happy dance* I think this one turned out better! Wooot! Oh, and thanks so much to those of you who have favorited/followed/reviewed!**

**Ahem. This lovely chappie of awesomeness was requested by GreekPrincess143 and Sharem. I hope you like it!**

**I don't know if you noticed, but I feel really happy! XD And I don't know why! :D  
**

**Disclaimer: So, one day I went to this Wishing Well, and I threw in a coin and was like, 'I wanna own the Avengers!' and the Well was like 'No way, lady!' So, yeah, I don't own the Avengers. (I didn't even get refunded! What a rude Well!)  
**

* * *

_Several weeks ago..._

Pepper examined a mango, wondering whether or not it was safe to buy it. Maybe if she hid it...

She ended up buying the mango.

* * *

_Present day..._

Pepper was happy. It had been several weeks since the last fruit incident. She opened the refrigerator and noticed that the mango she had gotten weeks ago was getting over ripe. She put it on the counter, promising to make something that needed mango, and left.

Not long after, Thor entered dragging Loki behind him. "Brother, you must try a pop tart! They are worthy of Asgard!" But he stopped short and scrunched his nose. "There is a foul stench in the air!" He announced. Loki rolled his eyes.

"I do have my own nose, thank you very much."

"Where is it coming from?" Thor wondered aloud, ignoring Loki's comment. Thor then began sniffing around the kitchen in search of the stink.

"It smells of over ripe mangoes. Did you notice that there's an over ripe mango right there?" Loki pointed out. Thor ignored him.

Loki sighed, beginning to walk away. "Well, if you don't need me here I shall let you play,"

This caught Thor's attention. "No! Help me find the source of the mysterious stink!" He pleaded, pulling Loki back into the room.

So Loki sat and watched Thor sniff around the kitchen like a blood hound. Eventually, Thor had narrowed it down to (dun dun dun!) half the room. From there he picked up random things, trying to find out what was making the smell.

Thor prodded the mango, and his nose scrunched up in disgust. "I HAVE FOUND IT!" He screamed, flinging the mango as far away form him as he could.

It landed in Loki's hair.

Thor gulped. "That happens sometimes?" He tried.

Loki glared as he waved his hand and the mango vanished. Still glaring, he summoned another over ripe mango, walked calmly over, and smashed it over Thor's head, then left.

Thor squealed in outrage (it was a very manly squeal!). "**LOKI!**" he screeched. But Loki had already teleported away.

Since he didn't have any magic, Thor headed to the bathroom to wash the foul stuff out of his lovely hair. Along the way, he ran into Steve.

Steve caught one waft of rotting mango and turned green, fleeing before Thor even managed to say hello. Extremely grumpy, Thor stuck his head under the faucet, but even after he dried his hair it still smelled of rotten mangoes.

Thor huffed in frustration. This sucked.

* * *

Pepper came back, and the first thing she noticed was the absence of mango. It wasn't hard to find the culprit. All she had to do was follow the smell, which led he to Thor.

Of course. Why hadn't she guessed?

"Thor!"

* * *

**Hehe! There ya go! Luv it? Hate it? Let me know!**

**As always, fruits are welcome! Always!  
**

***little rainbow bug jumps out of nowhere and lands on your nose* Review! I really like reviews! They make my day! :)  
**


	20. Thor vs the onion

**OH MY GODS! THANK YOU ALL FOR THE REVIEWS! I now have over 100! It makes me so happy! *-***

**Hehe, so I know onion isn't a fruit, but whatever. This was requested by Pergjithshme and InterestingName. I hope you like it!  
**

**ALSO! That picture that AgentEquus drew and put up on deviant art that I mentioned a few chapters back? She gave me permission to use it as my cover picture for this story! Thank you so much!  
**

**Now, I think that's everything of importance...On with it! :)  
**

**Disclaimer: As much as I hate to say it, I don't own the Avengers.  
**

* * *

After the mango incident, Steve decided to put Thor to good use. (Thor thinks that it's revenge because Steve had to throw up after he smelled the rotting mango on Thor.) At first, it was just little things like staying out of the way, but when he managed not to break anything, they started letting him help out in the kitchen. Why? You'd think they knew better than that. But that is irrelevant. Getting strait to the story, Thor was currently chopping vegetables for a soup that Pepper was making.

"Lady Pepper, what must I do now that I have finished chopping the 'carrots'?" Thor asked, scraping the minced carrots into the pot. Pepper shoved some onions at him without looking up. So Thor began chopping the onions.

He was so far in La La Land that it took him a while to realize that his eyes were stinging and watering. Thor was immediately confused and slightly angered.

"I AM CRYING?! MY EYES HURT! WHAT SORECERY IS THIS?! LOKI!"

As always when called, Loki popped in (literally). "Yes, Thor, what is it this time?" He asked exasperated.

"YOU HAVE BEWITCHED ME INTO CRYING!" Thor yelled. Loki cracked up.

"I—ehehehe!—I didn't do that! Ehehehe, this is hilarious! The mighty Thor cries!" Loki laughed, doubled over.

Realization dawned on Pepper as she saw the onion Thor had been chopping. She laughed breezily, saying, "Oh, Thor! It's the onions!"

"I do not understand."

"It's the onions, something about them makes your eyes water," Pepper explained.

Thor turned triumphantly to Loki. "See?!" He said proudly, "It is not out of weakness that I cry! It is the fault of the evil flaky balls!"

"Whatever helps you fall asleep at night, brother!" Loki wheezed, still cramped from his laughing fit.

"What does that mean? YOU ARE GOING TO ENCHANT THE EVIL FLAKY BALLS TO ATTACK ME WHILE I SLEEP, ARE YOU NOT!"

"...I wasn't planning to, but thanks for the great idea!" Said Loki cheerfully, poofing away with his teleport abilities.

"I MUST KILL THE EVIL BALLS NOW, BEFORE LOKI CAN USE THEM AGAINST ME!" Thor decided aloud, proceeding to smash all the onions with Mjonlier.

"Thor! **Stop killing my onions!**" Pepper yelled. But by that time, the onions were a pile of eye watering mush. Pepper sighed. "Thor, out." She ordered. Thor exited looking like a kicked puppy.

* * *

That night, Thor dreamed that he was being attacked by the evil flaky balls.

* * *

**...You'd really think they'd learn by now that Thor can't be trusted with food**

**I take requests! I prefer fruits, but will not turn down vegetables and others! :)  
**

**Review, lest your dreams be haunted by evil flaky balls! I have warned you!  
**


	21. Thor vs the nectarine

**Thank you all so much for all the reviews/favorites/follows! You people rock! I love you all! ^-^**

**This next chappie is nectarine, requested by kimbee. Sorry if this one is a bit short, I haven't had a nectarine for a while, so I didn't have too many ideas.  
**

**Disclaimer: *shakes magic 8 ball* Do I own the Avengers? *magic 8 ball says: No* Do I own the awesome cover picture? *magic 8 ball says: No*  
**

* * *

Clint was reading peacefully when he noticed Tony slinking along the walls with a box. Amused, he asked, "What're you doing, Tony?"

It was rather satisfying to see him jump three feet in the air and spin around. "Clint! Don't do that!" Tony said breathlessly. Clint smirked triumphantly.

"So, what are you doing?" He repeated.

"Being a spy," Tony muttered.

"...Okay then. Why, might I ask?"

"Because Pepper wants me to hide these from Thor," Tony defended, showing Clint the box with nectarines.

Clint nodded. "Access granted," He said, turning back to his book. Tony left muttering about it being his tower.

* * *

The rest of Tony's spy mission was successful, mostly because he didn't run into anyone else. He put the nectarines in a cupboard and grinned. Mission completed!

* * *

Thor rummaged in his cupboard, looking for his precious pop tarts. He frowned when he saw that there weren't any of the berrylicous flavor left. Since he didn't feel like having one of the other flavors, he searched the cupboard next to it, then the next one. Several cupboards later, he found some small apples.

Remembering his last encounter with an apple, Thor sniffed one of them warily. He sighed with relief when it wasn't sour.

Clint came in, greeting Thor with a small nod before dropping into a chair. Thor smiled back and bit into his apple...

...which had a huge seed in the middle? What was this trickery?

Thor spat the seed out, and it hit Clint on the head. The archers eyes darkened.

"Why're you spitting nectarine seeds at me?" He demanded.

"What did you call this?" Thor asked, holding the nectarine forward.

"Nectarine," Clint grunted.

Thor frowned. "Is that a Midgardian variation of apple? I thought it tasted strange..."

Clint looked closer at the fruit. "That's a nectarine, Thor, it's not an apple." He said bluntly.

"Not an apple?" Thor asked, looking stunned. "But, other than the slight size and shape differences, it looks like an apple!"

Clint facepalmed.

* * *

**Yah, there it is! I don't think it's my best...**

**Fruit (and other) ideas are always welcome! If you want something, don't be afraid to put it in a review or PM.  
**

**Did you like this? Review! Did you hate this? Review! Was it so-so? REVIEW! (please!)  
**


	22. Thor vs the apricots

**Hey everyone! Thanks a ton for all the reviews, favorites, and follows! :3 They make me so happy! ^-^**

**So, this short little chappie is a request from kimbee, and I hope you like it! As I mentioned before, it is short, 'cause I didn't know quite what to do with it...Anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I have no wish to be sued, and so I will say this: I DON'T OWN THE FREAKING AVENGERS!  
**

* * *

Tony knew a lot of things. One of which was that trees did not attack people with 'evil replicas of peaches'. Apparently, Thor didn't.

See, Tony had decided that the resident gods needed to be educated, so he took (cough*dragged*cough) Thor and Loki on a little walk around New York.

Thor was bouncing around excitedly while Loki walked with his nose in a book. Thor was trying to get Loki to look with him at shop windows. Even though he kept his nose in his book, Tony could tell that Loki's patience was being strained.

"Ooh! Loki!" Thor bubbled for the millionth time. "Look at this!" He tugged Loki's elbow hard, and Loki almost dropped his book in the mud. By now, even Tony could tell that Loki was agitated, which was bad, since Loki almost always hid his feelings.

A harsh wind blew up and shook the tree that Thor was standing under with Loki, causing the apricot tree to drop its fruit on the god of thunder. By some miracle (cough*magic*cough), none fell on the trickster god.

"LOKI! THE TREES ARE ATTACKING US WITH PEACHES!" Thor yelled, getting him some weird looks.

"Those are not peaches, Thor," Replied Loki blandly. "Those are apricots."

"WE ARE BEING ATTACKED WITH EVIL REPLICAS OF PEACHES!" Thor corrected himself.

Tony facepalmed.

Thor raised his hammer and hit the tree with it. By chance, it still stood. Thor was about to deliver another blow when some random person walked up to him.

"**What do you think you're doing?! You cannot walk around and destroy our trees! It is entirely unacceptable!**" Screamed the 'puny mortal'.

Thor looked bewilderedly at the human, who barely reached his chest. Tony had to laugh at the sight of the person lecturing Thor about the rights of trees.

Finally, Loki seemed to take pity on Thor and dragged him away from the random Midgardian.

* * *

**Yay! And that is my awesomeness of the day. I hope you liked it! :)  
**

**Fruit requests are always welcome! They don't even have to be fruit! I'll write your little (or maybe not little...it depends) chappie with your fruit idea!  
**

**So...I think that's everything...I'll see you on Tuesday! See ya then!  
**

**And now that you've finished reading my awesomenss and author note, please review! Come on, please? ...Still waiting...  
**


	23. Thor vs the grapes

**Hey Peeps! Huge thanks to everyone, whether you favorited, followed, reviewed, or just read! You are all awesome! *-***

**So, this chapter of awesomeness was requested by paisly15 and Guest (guest). I hope you like it! It's a bit longer than the last one. :)  
**

**Also! Maria Hill is NOT and OC. She is a real character from the Avengers. You know that lady with the really short hair that's the first one to get out of the helicopter in one of the first scenes? This is her! So, NOT and OC.  
**

**Disclaimer: ...I have a secret. *lowers voice to whisper* I don't own the Avengers!  
**

* * *

Maria Hill looked at the grapes. Why would someone give her grapes? And anonymously at that. She didn't **need** grapes. What on earth was she going to do with them.

She remembered Pepper telling her recently that there was a lack of fruit in the Stark Tower. Maybe she could drop them off there. Yes, she would do that.

(line)

A few minutes later, Agent Hill walked into the Tower lobby, and, since nobody was there, went to the elevator up to the kitchen.

As she entered the kitchen, a moody Stark greeted her while cradling his coffee. By the looks of it, he had been down in his lab for quite a while. Seeing a fruit basket, Maria quickly deposited the grapes, but as she turned to leave, Pepper came in as well.

"Oh, Maria! It's good to see you!" She said happily.

"You too," Maria returned, smiling. "I just came by to give you some grapes that I somehow got and needed to get rid of."

Pepper's expression turned into O.O

"Tony!" She screeched. "Why haven't you hidden them already?!"

"'Cause I can do it later!" Tony snapped back.

"Good morning, friends!"

Everyone turned to see Thor enter. To Maria's surprise, Pepper and Tony both wore wary expressions.

"Good morning, Thor," Pepper said, eyes flicking between the god and the fruit basket. Okay, Maria was seriously confused.

"What are these?" Thor asked, pointing at the grapes.

"Grapes," Maria said, poker faced.

Thor smiled with relieved happiness. "I know of grapes!" He exclaimed, popping one in his mouth. Maria didn't miss the way both Tony and Pepper relaxed.

"Hey, Thor!" Tony said suddenly, and you could almost see the freaking light bulb over his head. "See how many grapes you can fit in your mouth!"

Thor, eager to fulfill any challenge, started stuffing the fruits in his mouth, until his cheeks bulged like a chipmunk. His face turned red, but he continued to shove grapes in his mouth.

"Uh, Thor, maybe you should stop before you hurt yourself..." Pepper said worriedly.

Thor tried to reply, but just succeeding in choking on his grapes.

Loki entered suddenly, sighing when he saw Thor. "Oh, Thor," He said, rolling his eyes, "Shouldn't you know better by now?" With that he walked over calmly and thumped Thor on the back.

The thunder god stopped choking and spewed grapes. Unfortunately, one landed in Tony's coffee.

"**Thor!** That's disgusting!" Tony screeched. "My coffee!" Growling, he got up and dumped the coffee over Thor's head.

Just then Clint entered. Misunderstanding the situation, he yelled, "Food fight!" and flung a box of cereal at Thor, which exploded against his chest.

Maria left (cough*fled*cough) the scene.

* * *

**There you go! I hope you liked it! :)  
**

**Fruit! Fruit is awesome! If you want to see a fruit, review or PM me! I will not turn you down! Be prepared, though, I have a rather large list, so I will not get to yours right away unless you happen to want whatever Thursday's fruit is!  
**

**Wow! You've made it this far into the story! You might as well review it, right? XD  
**


	24. Thor vs the air freshener

**Hey there! I was hoping to post this earlier, but I accidentally labelled file wrong, thought something was wrong when I couldn't find it, found it roughly a minute ago, and am now posting it.**

**So! This lovely (if not a bit late) chapter is a request from SketchedLyrics. I hope you like it! :)  
**

**Disclaimer: Clearly someone who can lose an important document couldn't possibly be responsible enough to own the Avengers.  
**

* * *

Tony stared at the air freshener. For some reason, after the grapes, Maria Hill thought he had been responsible for giving her the grapes in the first place, and had decided to return the gesture by getting him an air freshener. One of those ones that sprayed fruity-smelling stuff every few minutes. What on earth was he supposed to do with it?

Well...he could always "give" it to somebody...yes, that seemed like the best thing to do. And so Tony left to put it in somebody's room. Let's see, there was always the good Captain to prank...

He passed Thor's room on the way to Steve's, then gagged and backtracked. Thor's room smelled of pop tarts. There was **way** too much pop tart smell in here!

Then the freaking light bulb lit up again.

Smirking, Tony stuck the air freshener in Thor's room, then hurried away to distance himself from the overwhelming smell of pop tarts.

* * *

Thor noticed that something was different the moment he stepped into his room. Normally, he wouldn't notice, but this was a **huge** change. There was NO way he could miss it.

His room smelled of those treacherous little orange balls!

Eventually, he found the source to be a little white device. He bent down to look at it just as some sort of mist was sprayed right into his eye.

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!**" He screamed. "**MY EYES!** THIS IS THE FAULT OF THE LITTLE ORANGE BALLS OF TERROR!"

Thor then proceeded to smash the white minion of the balls of terror, before realizing that the smell was still there. "LOKIIIIIII!" He called, and a small pop confirmed his brother's presence.

"By the Norns, Thor, what is it **this** time?!" Loki said exasperatedly.

"LOKI! GET RID OF THE HORRIBLE SMELL OF LITTLE ORANGE BALLS OF HORROR!" Thor begged.

Loki smirked. "Of course, dear brother." He said, waving his hand. "Have fun," and he teleported with a pop.

What did that mean? Thor wondered. Until a very large amount of water appeared out of nowhere and flooded his room. Typical.

* * *

Steve was just walking by when suddenly Thor's door burst open, and said god along with a river of water poured out. Poor Steve got swept up as well, and they both were carried down thirteen flights of stairs before it ended.

"Thor! What did you do to make Loki mad this time!" Steve screamed at the Asgardian.

"I do not know! This happens sometimes!" Thor defended halfheartedly.

"Argh!" The Captain yelled before repeatedly banging his head against the wall.

* * *

**There! Hope it lived up to what you were expecting! :D  
**

**While I currently have quite a list of fruit (and otherwise) requests to do, why not tell me now if you want to see something so you don't forget?  
**

**I already know you're going to review my awesomeness, so I don't even have to ask you to! XD! ...What?! You DON'T want to review?! Oh, come on people! Please?  
**


	25. Thor vs the guava

**Hi! I'm back! Thank you to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! They all make me so happy! *-***

**So, this chappie was requested by Konri Kari and Sharem. I hope you like it! Also, I haven't had a guava in a while, so I'm sorry if this isn't so great.  
**

**Disclaimer: Fun fact, kids! I don't own the Avengers!  
**

* * *

Bruce rubbed the bridge of his nose as he stared at his scientific stuff, yawning. The last time he'd slept...He didn't even remember. He was really tired. Tony glanced up at him.

"Dude, are you still here? That's it, go away, you need to take a break," He said, grinning.

"I do not!" Bruce protested. Tony sighed and pushed him out the lab door.

"Jarvis, don't let him back in."

"Yes, sir," The AI confirmed.

Bruce sulked up the the kitchen and sat down with a soft thud. Maybe he could use a little food though. He smiled as he spotted a guava and started cutting it up. He then started making a salad to eat, but just as he finished sprinkling the vinegar on, Jarvis announced, "Mr. Fury is approaching, sir,"

"Thanks, Jarvis," Bruce said, looking up expectantly as the elevator doors slid open and Nick Fury stalked in. "Good day, Director," Bruce greeted.

Fury grunted in reply. "Where's Stark? I need to talk to him."

Bruce nodded and led the way down to the lab, leaving his salad and guava on the counter. They had barely left when Thor came in, looking around. He spotted the cut up guava and, not recognizing it, decided that it was probably supposed to be in the bowl along with the leafy greens. Then, seeing how nobody was around, decided that it would be a waste to not eat the food. He took a large bite and gagged.

"BY THE BEARD OF ODIN! THIS CONCOCTION HAS A TERRIBLE TASTE!" He shouted as Bruce reentered.

"**Thor!** I was going to eat that!" Bruce exclaimed, then sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"It is fortunate that I tried it first then, friend Bruce, for it has a terrible taste!" Thor said.

Narrowing his eyes, Bruce came forward and peered closely at the salad. He groaned and facepalmed.

"Thor, you weren't supposed to put the guava in!" He cried exasperatedly.

"What is a 'guava'?"

"It is a type of fruit, you block head." Drawled a lazy voice from the door way. Both turned to see Loki leaning against the wall.

"Brother!" Thor cried, "These leafy greens have been tainted by evil!"

Bruce gritted his teeth as he stepped forward and flung the bowl of used-to-be-salad on Thor's head.

"**MY HAIR!**" Thor screeched, pawing the lettuce off his head.

Loki smirked as he waved his hand, and when Thor tried to take the wooden salad bowl off his head, it stuck.

"**LOKI!**"

"Why, Thor, you look marvelous!" Loki snickered.

"Nice hat," Bruce agreed, chuckling.

Thor opened his mouth to yell more, but Bruce stuck a guava in and started a conversation with Loki like this was all normal. And, in a way, it was. It happened sometimes.

* * *

**So! How was that? I think it worked! :)  
**

**If you have a fruit you want to see, tell me in a review or PM! I try not to turn down any fruit, although there are some I might struggle with.  
**

**Non-reviewers will get a guava in the mouth. ;) Review! (please!)  
**


	26. Thor vs the date

**Hey! *waves at you* It's time for...ANOTHER CHAPTER OF AWESOMENESS! Yay! And many thanks to those of you awesome people who reviewed/favorited/followed! You. Guys. ROCK! *-***

**So, this lovely chappie was requested by my very awesome sister, I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain, and I hope you like it! :)  
**

**Oh, and I fixed that rather embarrassing typo. If you're new, or just don't know what I'm talking about, let's just say...Loki might have beheaded himself.  
**

**Disclaimer: Do you _really_ think that someone who could write "head" instead of "hand" without noticing could own the Avengers?  
**

* * *

Fury sighed and rubbed his temples. What was all this about fruit and Thor?! It was infuriating.

Ruffling some papers, he found one written by Maria Hill, stating clearly that no one was to bring fruit to the Star Tower. Fury growled. That was it. He got up and left for the tower. He was going to talk some sense into that team.

* * *

Not long after, Fury stormed into the kitchen, seeing a clearly amused Tony and Clint and a sulking Thor wearing an over sized floppy sun hat. Wait, what?

Yes, Thor was sitting in a chair with a huge pink sun hat covering his hair, moping. Before he could comment on it, however, Tony said, "Why hello, Mr. Pirate!"

Fury raised an eyebrow. "Really, Stark?" He said dryly. "That's the best you could manage?"

Tony shrugged. He got up and passed Thor, then accidentally-on-purpose tripped, slamming into the god. While Thor didn't seem effected, his hat fell off, revealing...

"Thor." Fury said, deadly calm, "Why do you have a wooden bowl on your head?"

The god looked down guiltily, mumbling, "Loki got mad at me, I think."

"You think? What do you mean, 'you think'?"

Thor shrugged. "Sometimes he plays jokes on me for no apparent reason," He said lamely.

Clint snorted, getting up and grabbing something out of the cupboards. He stopped next to Thor, saying, "Want a date?" and holding out the fruit.

"I already have a mistress," Thor said nervously.

Tony groaned. "He wasn't talking about a _date_, he was talking about a **date**."

"I fail to understand this."

"It's really not that complicated," Natasha said, coming out from seemingly nowhere. "It's a date, not a date."

"I still do not understand!" Thor wailed.

Clint smirked, obviously enjoying confusing the god. "Listen, we're not asking you if you want a date with someone, just if you want a date."

"Whatever this date that is not a date is, I do not want one." Thor said finally.

"Are you sure?" Tony asked slyly. "They're really sweet,"

"Indeed, I am sure, Man of Iron."

"Aw, c'mon!" Tony whined at him, "It's really good, and it's not like a date at all!"

Thor was rather red in the face from trying to understand by now. "How can a date not be like a date?" He asked, perplexed.

Clint smirked. "Simple, they're **dates**, not _dates_!"

"THIS MAKES NO SENSE! MY BRAIN IS EXPLODING!" Thor screamed as he fled from the room, the bowl on his head making him look rather ridiculous.

Fury, who had previously been frozen, facepalmed.

* * *

**So, that was a bitty bit short...but hopefully as awesome as I claimed, 'cause I don't wanna sell people short on this. :)  
**

**Even though I have a REALLY long list of fruit requests, you are welcome to submit one in a review or PM!  
**

**I SEE A LIGHT! Please review! PLEASE!  
**


	27. Thor vs the strawberries

**Hello agian! Sorry if this is a bit late...but I did make it longer! :) Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed/read this story! You are all what keeps this going! ^-^**

**So this fruit was requested by The pH Alchemist, Killer-cupcake14, AgentEquus, Guest (guest), and QueenofIron! I hope you all like it! :)  
**

**Disclaimer: If, hypothetically speaking, I owned the Avengers, that would rock! But that is only a hypothetical daydream.  
**

* * *

Thor looked up at his ceiling in misery. Why was something bad always happening to him? Since when did he have such bad luck? He was so liked in Asgard...

Unlike Tony, Thor didn't have an idea light bulb. Instead, he had an idea thunderstorm. It would come suddenly and stay for anywhere from one second to an hour.

"I shall get a peace offering!" Thor exclaimed excitedly, jumping off his bed. He rushed out of his room, yelling, "LOKI!"

Loki popped out of nowhere, looking extremely annoyed. "What is it, Thor?" He said exasperatedly. "I have better things to attend to than talking to my oaf of a brother."

"I have decided to give our friends a peace offering!" Thor said, as if he hadn't heard Loki. And, considering that he was in his idea thunderstorm, Loki wouldn't be surprised if he hadn't heard anything. But...a peace offering...

Perhaps if Thor had been paying attention, he would have noticed the gleam that came into Loki's eyes. But the point is that he didn't. "Brother, please help me! I have no idea what kind of peace offering they would like."

"How about some fruit?" Loki said happily. "There is never enough fruit around here. It always disappears."

"Yes! Loki, will you come with me to help me find the right fruit?" Thor pleaded.

Loki smirked. "Of course. What would you do without me, brother?"

* * *

Thor looked doubtfully at the container Loki had handed him. "Are you sure?"

"Have you ever known me to be wrong?" Loki inquired slyly.

Thor laughed, clapping Loki on the back. The younger god gasped for breath as he stumbled away. "You're all on your own now," He informed Thor. "I will not be the diplomat this time." Thor nodded and bounded into the kitchen. Pepper looked up from the laptop she was working at and was immediately on guard.

"Can I help you?" She asked politely.

"I bring a peace offering!" Thor announced, handing her the container.

"Oh." Pepper blinked. "Thank you!" She gave him a smile and opened the container. Her smile quickly became forced.

"Is there something wrong, Lady Pepper?" Thor asked.

"Oh, nothing other than the fact that you picked the one thing on earth I'm allergic to!" Pepper said, voice rising a bit.

Thor looked confused. "Forgive me...I am not familiar with this term."

"I can't eat it." stated Pepper bluntly.

"Are you like what are called 'vegetarians' ? The act where you do not eat something?"

Pepper could feel her patience thinning as she answered, "No, that is not eating something by **choice**. I can't eat Strawberries."

"I still do not understand."

"It means you chose **the one thing I cannot eat, and will not eat!**" Pepper growled.

"...That happens sometimes?" Thor tried warily.

Pepper's patience came to an end.

"**That's it!**" She screamed, wielding her purse as she started whacking the living daylights out of Thor.

"MERCY! HELP! SOMEONE HELP ME! LADY PEPPER IS ATTACKING ME! I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I DID! LOKI!"

Loki appeared with a pop, holding a book and glaring at Thor. "I was reading! Why do you keep doing that?!" he protested, then teleported away as suddenly as he had come.

"**I AM DOOOOOOOOOOOMED!**"

* * *

Thor limped into the his room like a kicked puppy, flopping on his bed. So much for the peace offering. Sighing, he looked over at his bedside table, and noted that there was a package there. He opened it slowly, as if it might bite him. He was immensely relieved when it didn't.

A smile broke out on his face as he held up the old toy. It was his favorite when he was a child, and there was a note that said:

_He will comfort you, even when I am not available. Never doubt that I love you_

_~Loki_

Thor smiled again. Maybe he wasn't so neglected as he thought.

* * *

**Okay, so I had to add a little bit of fluff at the end to balance out Thor getting beaten up. I hope you liked it! XD**

**I sense that you have a fruit you want to see with my psychic powers! Bring the requests forth, I'm not afraid! :)  
**

**I also sense with my psychic powers that you want to review! Oblige you instincts! Do tell what you thought of my incredible awesomeness!  
**


	28. Thor vs the calamanci

**OH MY GODS I FORGOT TO POST ON SUNDAY DON'T KILL ME PLEASE! I don't know how, but it completely slipped my mind! Anyway PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! To make up for it, I am posting two chapters tonight, so hopefully that makes up for it.**

**Anyways, this chappie was requested by Sharem. I hope you like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: Obviously, anyone who could forget to post couldn't own the Avengers.**

* * *

Natasha smiled as she trimmed her calamanci fruit tree thoughtfully. Clint had gotten it for her a few years ago, and it was one of the best presents she had ever received. She noticed the leaves drooping and decided that it could use some light, so she moved it up to the kitchen. After setting it on the windowsill, she ambled over to the coffee maker.

"What?!" She hissed. There was no coffee maker. Oh well, maybe Stark had finished that special coffee maker he had been talking about, the one that would be able to cook eggs. Natasha left the room, promising to come back as soon as possible.

* * *

Thor walked into the kitchen, confidence having been replenished since the strawberry incident a few days ago. He headed for the pop tarts when a flash of color caught his eyes, and he turned to face the object. He hissed when he saw a tree with miniature orange balls of horror it.

"NOOOOOO! ALL OF YOU MUST DIEEEEEEE!" Thor screamed, leaping forward and smashing the plant with his hammer. He was about to congratulate himself when he heard a shrill shriek behind him.

"**Thor! How could you?! You smashed my calamanci plant!**" Natasha screamed, eyes wild with rage.

"It breeds little orange balls of horror!" Thor protested.

Natasha facepalmed. "Those aren't oranges!" She explained agitatedly. "That was a calamanci, which is entirely different!"

"Oh." Thor muttered, then said hesitantly, "So, they are not going to attack me?"

Natasha seemed to finally get over the shock of losing her precious plant, and flew at Thor, bringing him down with the Bastard Thigh Grip.

"LOKI!" Thor wailed. In a poof, the summoned god appeared, reading.

"And **now** what is it, Thor?" Loki asked, scarcely looking up from his book.

"Loki, I killed a plant and now Lady Natasha is angered!" Whined Thor.

The dark haired god examined the situation quickly before waving his hand and the tree and the pot it was in flew back together.

"I thought you couldn't bring the dead back to life?" Natasha said suspiciously as she released Thor in favor of studying her plant carefully.

Loki shrugged. "I can't, but your plant was not dead, simply damaged. And trust me, I can fix damaged things. It happens sometimes."

Natasha nodded, before rounding on Thor and glaring at him menacingly. "If you ever touch my plant again, I will kill you." She said, stalking out.

"Thank you, brother!" Thor cried as soon as she was gone.

Loki smirked. "Yet again, you are in my debt. What else is new?"

* * *

**So, I hope that was good...*bites finger nails nervously* Another chapter shall appear soon!**

**I am open to fruit requests! I am also open to other requests! Don't worry, I'm not picky when it comes to requests. :)**

**Please review, even if you just review to yell at me for forgetting to post. I love reviews! ^-^ **


	29. Thor vs the shaken soda

**And here's the next one! I hope the wait was as short as I promised...**

**So, this is a request from Gimmie20dollas (guest). I hope you like it! :D**

**Disclaimer: In case anyone has forgotten, I do not own the Avengers. Seriously, I don't. So don't even think about sueing me, Marvel, 'cause I've got no claim on this.**

* * *

Tony rubbed his eyes. He had been working for a while, and he really needed an energy boost, but not coffee, since he hadn't finished the awesome coffee maker yet. Well, he could always have a soda. He went up to the kitchen, where the rest of the team already was, and pulled a soda out of the fridge. It didn't take long for the sugar to kick in. He giggled, drawing confused and worried looks from his teammates.

"Why so serious? You guys need to loosen up!" He declared, still giggling, and fished more sodas out of the fridge and handing them out.

Loki turned his soda can around in his hands, bored out of his mind. He needed to do a prank, and he needed to do it now. An idea sparked in his mind as he watched Thor struggling to open his soda can.

"Here, Thor," He offered. "You need to shake these things first, so everything doesn't settle on the bottom."

Thor, although still greatly confused by these Midgardian things, shook the can violently. "How do I open it, Loki?" He asked, trying to finish the puzzle out.

"Pull this tab here," Loki instructed. Thor pulled the tab, and soda exploded on both of them. Except, the moment the soda touched Loki, he flickered and disappeared, reappearing on the other side of the room.

Thor looked like a wet dog, even more confused than before. Loki burst out laughing.

"Ehehehehehehehe! You've been Loki'd again!" He giggled. Thor's face turned red and he dove towards Loki, only to go through another illusion. The rest of the Avengers looked on in varying degrees of amusement.

"LOKI" Thor screeched. "YOU HATH MADE THIS MIDGARDIAN BEVERAGE REBEL AGAINST ME! THOU SHALT PAY!"

"Come and catch me, then!" Loki said slyly from his new position in front of the window. Growling, Thor dived for him again.

And, yet again, he went through an illusion. But this time, he rammed strait into the glass and tumbled out the window and onto the sidewalk below.

"**LOKI!**" Thor yelled again. The Avengers had no trouble hearing him hundreds of stories above.

"How about we leave about now and let the Asgardians hash this out...'cause that happens sometimes..." Tony suggested.

The rest of the Avengers readily agreed.

* * *

**There! Two chappies in one night! Yay! :D Well, that's all, folks!  
**

**The fruit (and otherwise) request box is always open! Feel free to submit anything!**

**Review! The more reviews, the less likely I am to spontaniously forget updates!**


	30. Thor vs the Asian pear

**HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! And over 200 reviews?! Oh gods, you guys ROCK! *-* I can't say thank you enough!**

**This fruit was requested by Augsp (guest) and Velinde. I hope you like it! Also, I have nothing against pears, but ya know how there are some that just taste bad? Anyway, I made this chappie special for the holidays! Yay! So, let's get to the awesomeness! :)  
**

**Disclaimer: Oh, the glories of being able to own the Avengers! I wish those glories were mine...**

* * *

It was Valentines day. So, naturally, Tony decided to go full out.

"_**Happy Valentines day!**_" Suddenly blared through the tower, startling several of its occupants to fall out of bed. And, in one case, out of the air vents.

"**Damn you, Stark!**" Clint's angry voice screeched, as he came in a few moments later.

Tony smirked, saying, "Not feeling the love, eh Barton?"

"No." Clint said shortly, turning to leave.

"We must fix that!" Tony declared, grabbing the archer's arm and pulling him into the kitchen. Clint gasped and covered his eyes.

"This hurts my eyes!" He whined. Tony beamed.

"Feel the love, Clint!" Tony demanded gleefully.

"Loki!" Clint screamed desperately. No Loki appeared. "Why does it always work for Thor? I swear he hates me," He grumbled.

Just then Thor bounded in with Loki in tow. "Friend Clint! Are you in peril?" Thor asked worriedly.

Loki, on the other hand, clapped a hand over his eyes, much like Clint had done. "All this pink...it hurts my eyes..." he groaned.

"Happy Valentines day!" Tony interjected happily.

Thor's eyebrows knitted in confusion. "I do not understand."

"Basically," Clint started before Tony could say anything, "its' a holiday where people express their friendship for one another, but Stark here has taken it to an unacceptable level."

"It's the holiday of Love!" Tony summed up. "Come on! I have breakfast!" As soon as breakfast was mentioned, Thor perked up. "We have heart shaped pancakes, pink bagels and cream cheese, and those little candy heart things!"

Thor eyed the poisonous looking food, casting his gaze around desperately for something not poisoned. "If it's all the same to you, I shall appease my hunger with an apple..." he said nervously, edging over to the fruit basket and picking one up at random, biting into it. He just as suddenly spit it out.

"BY THE BEARD OF ODIN! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS APPLE?!" He asked, panicked.

Loki chuckled. "Thor, that is not an apple, that is a pear. Occasionally, there will be a bad tasting one in the bunch, it is only to be expected. It happens sometimes."

"So..." Tony began evilly, "Since that failed, how about some Valentines day breakfast!"

Thor took one look at all the pink food and started backing away. "I am not hungry..." he mumbled.

"**You shall eat the breakfast that took me forever to make or die!**" Tony said angrily, brandishing a spatula threateningly. Thor continued to back away, until he ran into the fruit basket, thought it was attacking him, and hit it through the air, also sending the fruits flying. Loki teleported himself away before thing could get messy, and Clint jumped into the nearest air vent. Tony got a face full of sour pear.

"**Die Asgardian die!**" Tony yelled, chasing Thor with the spatula.

"MERCY! THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES!"

...Probably not the best way Valentines day could have gone.

* * *

**There you are! I hope you liked it! :D**

**Got a fruit? I don't care what it is, I'll do it! Got something that isn't a fruit? I'll do that too!**

**Roses are red, Violets are blue, please tell me what you think and leave a review! XD (that was kinda cheesy...)**


	31. Thor vs the dragon fruit

**Booyah! I didn't forget this time! XD Yay! Oh my gods, thank you everyone who has reviewed/favorited/followed this story of awesomeness! You Fanfictioners are great! *-***

**Anyways, this chappie was requested by The Inner Titan and Kaisha Shiori! Hope you like it! ^-^**

**Disclaimer: I am not claiming the Avengers by writing this! I'm not even claiming Loki (no matter how much I want to...)! I am only borrowing these characters and messing around with them. ;)**

* * *

Bruce weighed the risks in his mind. He could A.( buy the dragon fruit, or B( not buy it. By now, Bruce knew what happened when you brought fruits that are foreign to Thor. But still...if he managed to hide it...and if Thor didn't find it...

Bruce decided to take the risk.

* * *

"Brother, I'm hungry!"

Loki sighed, exasperated. "Good for you, Thor," he said dully.

Thor, however, failed to note the sarcasm. "Come on, brother! Let us find sustenance!" he said as he grabbed Loki's arm and dragged him into the kitchen. He made his way over to his cabinet of pop tarts, but...

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! THERE ARE NONE LEFT OF MY GLORIOUS POP TARTS!" Thor wailed.

"Find something else, Thor," Loki sighed.

Thor grumbled, but complied by shuffling through the other cupboards. Nothing interested him until he happened upon a bag with large lumps in it. He reached in and pulled out a large magenta and green spike-ished ball. "What is this?" he asked, holding out said item.

"That?" Loki said, glancing over, "Oh, thats a dragon—"

Thor didn't let him finish the sentence. "**DRAGON EGGS?!** SOMEONE IS HATCHING DRAGON EGGS! THEY MEAN TO DESTROY US ALL!" Feeling it his personal duty to protect his teammates and brother, Thor quickly pulled out Mjonlir and smashed the eggs into mush at the unlucky moment in which Bruce entered the room, curious about all the yelling.

"**Thor!**" he yelled. Said god looked back, worried he had done something wrong.

"What is the matter, friend Bruce?" he asked timidly.

"You smashed my freaking dragon fruit, that's what!" the doctor hissed between clenched teeth.

"I have rid us of a great peril! There were dragon eggs!" Thor protested.

A chuckle broke them both up, as they turned to see Loki watching them amusedly. "Oh, do continue, please," he said once he saw that they had stopped arguing.

"Those weren't eggs, Thor! They were a type of fruit!" Bruce yelled, as if they hadn't been interrupted.

Thor now looked confused. "They weren't? But Loki said they were..."

"Ah, I was in the middle of saying that they were dragon fruit, but you cut me off before I could finish." Loki corrected.

Bruce growled at Thor, who trembled before bolting, Bruce on his tail.

* * *

Sometime later, Tony saw Thor sitting in the common area with a worn-out looking stuffed animal of a goat and a few bruises. Tony blinked.

"Thor...why do you have a stuffed animal...I thought you were a god..."

"He is not stuffed!" Thor said defensively. "His name is Tanngrisnir!"

"...Okay, why do you have a—I mean, why do you have Tanngrisnir?" Tony asked, still stupefied.

Thor sniffed, managing to look like a huge blond toddler. "I accidentally smashed friend Bruce's dragon eggs, and he got mad."

"That still doesn't explain the goat," Tony pointed out.

Thor just clutched the toy tighter.

"Fine, I'll just leave..." Tony said, walking away.

* * *

**...Poor Thor...I'm so mean to him... :( He really is like a huge blond toddler that I can't help but tease! XD Hehe, I just had to put a little cuteness there at the end... ^-^ I hope you all remember the stuffed animal that Loki gave to Thor in chapter Thor vs. the Strawberries.**

**I have an extensive list of requests, so if you submit one in a review or PM, be prepared. It may not show up months.**

**Thor is very attached to his ram, Tanngrisnir. If you don't review, I will tell Thor that you called it a goat. He will not be pleased.**


	32. Thor vs the garlic

**Hey Peeps! XD I remembered! I'm so proud of myself. :) Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! It makes me so happy! *-***

**Anywaaaaaaaaaay...this glorious chappie of awesomeness was requested by kimbee! Big round of applause! *claps* Now read on!  
**

**Disclaimer: ...Does Marvel really expect me to try to own their characters? Really? Well, I don't.**

* * *

"Do you guys have vampires in Asgard?" Tony asked at breakfast.

Loki scoffed, while Thor looked confused. "What is a vampire?" he asked, puzzled.

"Dude, you don't know?" Tony said incredulously.

"They are basically sparkley Midgardians that never die and suck humans' blood." Loki supplied lazily.

Tony beamed. "Good job, Loki! You've read Twilight!" Loki simply rolled his eyes.

"It's not like there was anything else to read. I already read everything else."

"We must kill these plagues to man kind!" Thor announced as Tony stared at Loki.

"You can't, Thor, haven't you been listening?" Loki told him, rolling his eyes again.

"But...there is one way..." Tony began mysteriously. Thor leaned forward eagerly. "They say that vampires are sensitive to garlic, so if you carry some around with you, no vampires will come and bite you, but if they **do**, you turn into a vampire as well!" Tony said in a dramatic whisper.

"What is garlic?" Thor asked.

Tony facepalmed.

"Here, take some," he said at last, handing Thor several of the bulbs. Thor accepted them merrily, knowing he wasn't going to turn into a vampire.

* * *

Steve exited the training room, wiping away the sweat. Loki came up to him casually, which was strange, since he had a colorful plastic gun aimed at him. He smirked as the Captain raised an eyebrow. "My apologies, Rogers, but this must be done." he said smoothly, pulling the trigger and bombarding Steve with glitter.

Steve coughed, trying to get the glitter out of his eyes to no avail. Growling, he turned to Loki, but the god wasn't there anymore. Sighing, he headed up to his room. Before long though, he ran into Thor.

Thor's eyes widened as he saw the glitter-covered Steve. "FRIENDS!" he screamed desperately, "FRIENDS STEVE HAS BEEN BITTEN BY A VAMPIRE!" Seeing he was alone in the struggle, he pulled out his garlic and threw it at the stunned Steve.

Unfortunately, some of the garlic got in Steve's eyes, and some in his mouth. He screeched as he held his hands over his face. Somehow, this made Thor more excited.

"IT WORKS! THE GARLIC WORKS!" He yelled happily.

Just then, the rest of the team and Loki entered. "Why's Steve covered in glitter?" Natasha asked, amused.

"Loki covered me in it!" Steve growled fiercely. Loki just shrugged.

"Friends!" Thor said, "Steve has been bitten by a vampire! He has become on of them!"

The Avengers and Loki shared glances before they burst out laughing, all except for Steve and Thor.

"**I am not a vampire!**" Steve screamed, thoroughly angered. There was glitter all over him and garlic in his eyes and mouth, and it was NOT funny!

"You...you're sparkley enough...to be one..." Clint gasped out through his laughing.

"Ditto!" Tony yelled, still chuckling heartily.

"So..." Thor said hesitantly, "Friend Steve is not a vampire after all?"

Steve growled again. Clint, Natasha, Loki, Tony, and Bruce all ran. Thor's eyes widened.

"HEEEEEELP! MERCY! THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES!"

* * *

**...I haven't read Twilight...I really don't know much about it except what I pick up from people who have...all I know is that the vampires are sparkley. That's it.**

**Got fruit requests? :) Please keep in mind that the wait will be long.**

** . *is trying to hypmotize you* _Review my awesomeness...review it! Please._**


	33. Thor vs the oranges, part three

**AAAAAAAAAH! I ALMOST FORGOT TO POST! D: But the good thing is, I didn't! *sigh of relief* So, thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! It makes me so happy! :D**

**Anyway, this chappie is a request from Kaisha Shiori, Agent-Hamilton123, and Avngerscrazygal. I hope you like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: Thankfully, I don't own the Avengers or their characters. Just imagine what would happen if I did, especially with me forgetting all the time now! It would be horrifying! O_O**

* * *

Even after weeks, Thor was still haunted by the little orange balls of terror. They wouldn't leave him alone! They were even in his dreams! Needless to say, Thor was thoroughly annoyed. Especially now. He had been sent on a grocery run with Loki, and he had passed the fruit isle.

There were oranges everywhere! Big oranges and little ones, darker ones and lighter ones, all staring at him, like they were going to attack!

"Loki..." he said to the smaller god beside him. "Those little orange balls of horror are watching me..."

"No they aren't, Thor," Loki said, rolling his eyes.

Thor tugged at Loki's sleeve nervously. "But they are, Loki..."

Loki sighed, exasperated. "Thor, they are inanimate objects. They **can't** look at you, much less attack you, or whatever you expect them to do next."

"Loki..." Thor moaned. Loki couldn't resist a smirk.

"Nervous, brother?" He asked teasingly. Thor gulped and nodded. Loki sighed. "Fine, Thor, let's get what we came for, and then we can go." As they turned away, though, an orange hit Thor in the back of the head.

"Oh! I'm so sorry!" a lady squealed apologetically, trying to calm down her child, who had thrown the fruit. Thor, however, panicked.

"LOKI! I **TOLD** YOU! THE LITTLE ORANGE BALLS OF TERROR ARE ATTACKING MEEEEEEEEE!" he wailed, before summoning his hammer and smashing the orange stand, sending juice into his eye. "**AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!**" he screamed, dropping his hammer, which landed on his foot. Loki rushed forward and grabbed his arm, teleporting them away before Thor could destroy the store.

Tony looked at them as the two gods appeared suddenly in the kitchen. Thor was covered in orange juice and still pouting like a little kid. Loki dragged him out of the room with a small nod towards Tony, the only acknowledgment of the Billionaire's presence. Shrugging, he went back to his coffee. Stranger had happened.

A fit of laughing in the next room over drew Tony's attention, and he entered to find Clint rolling on the ground in a giggle fit, the TV on. Interested, Tony turned to the screen in time to catch the end of a news caster's report, showing the footage of Thor's freak-out. Soon, Tony joined Clint on the floor.

* * *

**So...yah! Hope you liked it! *-***

**Any fruit requests will be met with open arms! Just keep in mind the really, really long wait...**

**Maybe I would stop forgetting so much if you reviewed...worth a try, isn't it! Please?**


	34. Thor vs the haggis

**I did not post on Sunday. BUT WAIT AND LISTEN TO MY EXPLAINATION! I was sick, and I felt pretty horrible on Sunday. I didn't even go on my computer, much less write. And that is why I did not post. BUT NO WORRIES! I will post twice tonight! :) I am also feeling much better, all I have is a stuffy nose and a slight cough.**

**So, this chappie of awesomeness was requested by Kaisha Shiori. I hope you enjoy it! :D**

**I'll stop blabbering now. Go forth! Also, I don't actually know if Fury has a mom, or if she's alive, but here she is.**

**Disclaimer: O.O does Marvel actually expect me to try to claim their characters?**

* * *

Fury sighed. His mother had sent him **another** disgusting present. And yes, he did have a mother. A mother who had an annoying habit of sending him Scottish "delicacies". The fact was, he did not **want** sheeps' guts. Now what was he going to with this haggis?

Just then, Thor entered. "Furious One, Friend Tony requested that I tell you that he—"

"Here take it! It's your problem now!" Fury yelled, pressing the haggis into Thor's hands and sprinting out the door. Confused, Thor made his way back to Stark Tower.

"Friend Tony, the Furious One did not reply to me. He gave me this strange object. What is it?" Thor asked upon entering the kitchen.

The occupants of the kitchen gasped and collectively covered their noses. Loki teleported away, while Clint heaved over the sink. Bruce looked green.

"Eeeew! Fury's getting revenge on us! Quick, what did we do?!" Tony yelled, slightly muffled.

"Whyyyyyyyyy?! Why us?!" Clint moaned.

"What is this?" Thor repeated his question, not seeming to notice the putrid smell practically radiating off of it.

Loki suddenly appeared, answering, "If you must know, it is haggis, a savory pudding containing sheep's pluck, minced with onion, oatmeal, suet, spices, and salt, mixed with stock, and traditionally encased in the animal's stomach and simmered for approximately three hours. It is also disgusting."

And with that, he vanished again.

"That guys like a freaking wikipedia!" Tony exclaimed.

"Hm..." Thor hummed, unwrapping the haggis and taking a bite. His eyes lit up. "This is delicious!"

"**Nooooooooooooooooooo!**" the rest of the Avengers wailed.

"Really, friends, you must try this!" Thor continued, holding out some of the food. The Avengers ran away screaming. "Why do the run?" he mused. "No matter, LOKI!"

Loki didn't appear.

"Fine, then, I will just have to find him and the others."

* * *

Tony was easy to find. He was working in his lab, trying to forget the awful smell of that horrid stuff, when Thor broke down his glass walls.

"FRIEND TONY, DO TRY SOME!"

"**Dummy, he's on fire! Put him out!**" Tony screamed in desperation. Dummy wheeled forward happily and sprayed Thor with the fire extinguisher while Tony made his escape.

* * *

Steve was also easy to find. He was in the gym, killing the innocent punching bags and also trying to forget the smell of the haggis. Just then, though, Thor burst in.

"FRIEND STEVE, TRY SOME!"

"**Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!**"Steve yelled, throwing a punching bag at Thor. It bought him enough time to run away.

* * *

Bruce was, of course, trying to relax his quick heartbeat while meditating. He didn't want to Hulk out. Calming breaths, and he would soon be fine—

"FRIEND BRUCE! TRY THE HAGGIS!"

Bruce jumped, transforming into the Hulk, who turned around and grabbed Thor by the legs and hurled him out the window. Just as quickly, though, he turned back to Bruce and kept meditating.

* * *

Although he was a spy, Clint was pretty easy to predict at times. Which is why it's no wonder Thor found him on the roof.

"FRIEND CLINT, TRY THE HAGGIS!"

Clint took one look behind him and jumped off the tower, drawing an arrow and firing it on the way down, so he landed unharmed on the ground. He took off running into the streets of Manhattan.

* * *

Loki watched all of this by being invisible, and Natasha hid herself in the fruit isle of the local store. Neither of them were found.

* * *

By the time Thor decided to stop hunting his teammates, he was bruised and still covered with fire extinguisher frost. At the very least, Tanngrisnir didn't mind the smell of haggis.

* * *

**So...how was that? I had fun with it :) I hope you guys had fun reading it! XD**

**I have 75 requests, and 30 of them that I have completed. You can send in a request, but please keep in mind how long it will take for it to show up.**

**Also, the next chapter will show up soon.**

**I'm still not completely better from my cold...your review would make me feel better! ^-^**


	35. Thor vs the Jalapeno

**Yup! I'm back! :) This one's a bit short, but oh well. This was requested by Anne-Marie (guest) and Avngerscrazygal. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Yeah. Don't own these people.**

* * *

The Team knew many things about Bruce. They knew that he was a brilliant scientist. They knew that he turned into an enormous green rage monster. What did they not know was that Bruce could make a very mean taco.

"Brother, I'm hungry!" Thor boomed. Loki rolled his eyes.

"Then go eat."

"Do you not hunger as well?" Thor asked him.

"No, I do not. Go find something in the kitchen." Loki replied dryly.

Thor pouted but went into the kitchen. He headed straight for his pop tart cabinet, but was appalled by the fact that there were none left.

"NOOOOOOOO! THERE ARE NO POP TARTS!" he wailed just as Bruce entered.

"I was just about to make myself a taco, but I can make on for you, too," Bruce offered politely. Thor nodded. And so Bruce went about the business of making tacos. Soon, he set one down in front of Thor and began to eat his own. Thor took a bite eagerly and his eyes widened.

"**AAAAAAAAAAAH!** IT IS **HOT!** LOKI! HELP! MY MOUTH IS ON FIRE!" Thor screamed, tears running in a cascade down his face. Loki appeared with a faint pop. "LOKI I AM HOT!"

"My my, Thor," Loki said dryly. "I did not know you knew Midgardian slang. Well done."

"LOKI HELP MEEEEEEEEE!" Thor pleaded. Bruce looked slightly guilty.

"Sorry about that, I like jalapeño in my taco." he apologized. Thor was too busy running around to hear him.

"IT BURNS! IT BURNS! WATER WATER WATER!" Finally regaining some sense, he rushed to the sink and tried to wash his mouth out, but it did nothing. "IT **STILL** BURNS!"

At last, Bruce took pity on him and gave him some bread, which worked better. Thor accepted it gratefully. Although he still whimpered from time to time, he had stopped screaming.

"Well done, Banner," Loki congratulated. "There are few who can reduce Thor to tears."

Bruce shrugged. "That happens sometimes."

* * *

**31 requests down, and 44 to go! :) I'm gonna go to bed now...soon. Eventually ;)**

**Review! Please?**


	36. Thor vs the avocado

**O.O oh my gods. I have over 300 reviews! I can't possibly thank you all enough! *-* You guys are the BEST! :D**

**So, in celebration, Thor actually manages to escape the dire situation he gets himself into! Also, this chappie was requested by Apolloll. Enjoy my awesomeness!**

**Disclaimer: *Marvel dude standing behind me with a huge ax* Yeah... I don't own the Avengers... You can put away the ax now...**

* * *

Tony sighed as he sipped his coffee. He really should get back to making that awesome coffee maker he designed... 'cause this coffee wasn't that great. Sure, it might work for someone like Steve, who's standards fit the 1940's, or Clint who had to drink SHIELD's sorry excuse for coffee all the time...

Said archer suddenly dropped out of the air vents into the seat next to Tony, making him jump. "**Clint!** Don't do that!"

Clint smirked at him. "Fine, be that way, Legolas." Tony muttered.

Steve, who had just entered, frowned. "Why do you always call him that? Is that a reference of some sort?"

"Oh! That's right! Clint we need to bring Cap and our resident gods up to date on modern movies!" Tony said excitedly.

"Lord of the Rings!" Clint cheered with him.

Loki popped into the kitchen. "For your information," he started, "I do know about the Lord of the Rings, so you need only to educate Thor and Rogers. Although, I have not seen the movies. But the books were much better than any of Asgard's sorry excuses for novels."

"Nobody there except you enjoy books?" Clint asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Writing is not a talent generally appreciated by the Aesir, and therefore very few good books." Loki said flatly.

"Brother, I am hungry!" Thor yelled, announcing his presence. Loki rolled his eyes.

"Then find something to eat, Thor."

Bruce entered as well, heading straight for the teapot. Too bad he wasn't really a coffee person, Tony mused, maybe if he were, he'd help out with the awesome coffee maker he was making. But he said out loud, "Great! Once the second master assassin gets here, we can tell everyone our plan!"

"Already here, Stark," Natasha told him, stepping in soundlessly.

"Yay! We're all here!" Tony said, stating the obvious.

"Movie night!" Clint crowed, no longer able to contain himself.

"The Lord of the Rings!" they chorused together.

Natasha laughed at their enthusiasm. "Fine, boys, fine."

"Yahoo! Let's get started!" Clint yelled happily.

"Friends, you forget," Thor pointed out, "We have not yet had sustenance."

"Fine," Tony grabbed a bag of chips and tossed them to the god, "Eat those while we watch."

"**Wait!**" Bruce cried out suddenly, causing his teammates to look at him strangely. "You cannot have chips without guacamole! It is literally a crime!"

"Okay then... we can make guacamole..." Clint said slowly.

"Good." Bruce happily started making guacamole. The others sat down and did various thing while they waited.

Meanwhile, Bruce had run into a little problem. The avocado he was pitting wouldn't let go of its seed! "Hey, Thor! I need your muscles over here!" he called. Thor came over obediently. "I need you to use this knife to get the seed out." Bruce explained, handing over the blade he had been using.

Thor ran his fingers along the knife's edge. "This blade is dull," he muttered. "I have something better!" Thor then ran off, returning soon with a huge battle ax.

"Thor, no—" Bruce tried, but Thor swung the ax, which cut through the seed, avocado, cutting board, and counter easily.

"**Thor!**" Tony screamed, dropping his second cup of coffee. "You are **not** allowed to cut up my house with an ax!"

"...That happens sometimes..." Thor said sheepishly. "Loki, can you fix it?"

Loki sighed and flicked his hand. Almost instantly, the counter and cutting board repaired themselves. "Shall we get on with the process of making this food called 'guacamole'?" he asked.

"Fine," Tony muttered, "But the ax goes away."

Thor nodded and slunk off to put away his ax, happy to have escaped his close call.

* * *

**So so so! Was it good? Hm, was it, was it! C'mon, tell me tell me tell me!**

**32 requests down, and 85 to go! Remember, if you send in a request via review or PM, it's gonna take a _long_ time for it to show up.**

***brandishes ax at you* Review! (please)**


	37. Thor vs the raspberries

**Hey there! Sorry I'm late! I was blanking, so my sister, I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain needed to give me a boost. She wrote the beginning of the story. Anyways, thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! You guys rock! *-***

**So, this lovely chappie of awesomeness was requested by Guest (guest), Lillyflower01, and TinaFrostDahMuffinburger. Hope you enjoy it! :)**

**Disclaimer:**

**Thor: YOU WILL NEVER OWN ME NOR MY KIN NOR MY BROTHER NOR MY FRIENDS!**

**Me: Aw... *pouty face***

* * *

Clint opened the refrigerator door, staring at the contents and letting the cool air waft into his face. He sighed, shutting it again. He then rechecked all the cupboards. He found raspberry pop tarts, raspberry syrup, raspberry tea... but no raspberries. They didn't have any of his favorite fruit, and he found himself suddenly _craving _them.

He turned around to leave, only to find Loki standing right behind him.

"AAAHHH!" Clint yelped in surprise. "Don't do that!"

Loki smirked. "And just what are you up to, Barton?"

"I am burdened with glorious purpose!" Clint declared, puffing out his chest.

"And just what would that be?" Loki asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

"To get raspberries!" Clint said importantly.

"Ah, what an important mission," Loki said sarcastically.

"It is!" Clint protested. Loki just rolled his eyes. Clint huffed, returning to his inspection of the refrigerator. "Meh... There's nothing here..." he grumbled, annoyed.

"Can't you just go buy some, then?" Loki asked pointedly. "You would get your raspberries, and I would get some peace and quit from your whining for a while."

Clint stuck out his tongue in an **ever** so mature manner. "Whatever, fine," he consented, heading away. Loki sighed happily for the opportunity to not have to listen to idiots arguing—

"Brother!"

Damn, Loki thought sourly. "What is it, Thor?"

"I have discovered a new flavor of pop tarts! They now come in rasp-berry flavor!" Thor said excitedly.

"The p is silent, Thor. You pronounce it _raz_- berry." Loki told him automatically.

"Brother, let us try these _raze_-berry pop tarts!" Thor said, still excited.

Loki sighed. "You never will get it, will you, Thor? It's not _raze_-berry, it's _raz_-berry."

"It matters not!" Thor announced. "Let us dine!"

"You're impossible," Loki muttered. Thor didn't hear, just grabbed his arm and pulled him off his chair.

Just then, the door burst open, and Clint strode in triumphantly. "I found them!" he practically squealed, presenting his raspberries. Thor looked confused.

"What are those, friend Clint?" the god asked, curiously.

"Raspberries!" Clint exclaimed happily.

Thor lit up. "These are the fruits that are in the new pop tarts!" he clarified.

Clint scoffed. "Those don't have **real** raspberries! Those have artificial flavoring!" he declared haughtily, as if eating real raspberries made you more important. Loki burrowed his head in his arms. Disaster was approaching like a storm, he could feel it.

"Watch!" Clint exclaimed, putting raspberries on his fingers. Thor's eyes grew wide.

"Friend Clint, please show me this trick!" he pleaded. Clint showed him how there was a hole in the raspberries, and how one could slip them on the tops of his/her fingers. Thor tried, but his fingers were too wide, and the raspberry broke apart. He frowned. "It didn't work,"

"It's just cuz your fingers are big. Try this one," Clint said, handing him a larger raspberry. It too broke. As did the next one. And the next. And the next. By now, Thor was getting frustrated.

"It isn't working! DIE, LITTLE RED DISOBEDIENT FRUITS, DIE!" Thor yelled, throwing the little green basket thingy that the raspberries came in (you know what I'm talking about) on the ground. Clint gasped.

"**Nooooooo!** You're so mean! I was gonna eat those!" Clint whined, jumping at Thor. "Now I gotta go buy some more!"

Natasha entered just then, taking in the sight of Clint on Thor's shoulders, whacking him with a rubber chicken (where did that come from?), Thor trying to get him off, and Loki pulling out a book as he began reading. Natasha sighed. She slid into the seat next to Loki as they watched Thor and Clint hash it out. She raised an eyebrow at Loki, who shrugged.

"It happens sometimes." the dark haired god supplied.

* * *

**There it is! Hope you liked it! :D**

**32 requests down... you know what, I don't know how many requests I have now... don't feel like counting... but yeah, you get the idea. Requests are still welcome, though!**

**Thor: IN THE NAME OF ASGARD, REVIEW!**

**Me: Please!**


	38. Thor vs the blackberries

**Ack, I'm late again. -_- On a brighter note, thanks so much to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed my story! It means a lot. ^-^**

**So, this chappie was requested by Guest (guest) and TinaFrostDahMuffinburger. I hope you like it! :D I'm rather happy with how it turned out. But I'll stop keeping you waiting! Onwards to the awesomeness!**

**Disclaimer: Unlike some people I've encountered in my life, I give back the things that I borrow. I am borrowing these characters for my story, yet they are not mine to keep.**

* * *

_Twas a random mid-morning, and all through Stark Tower,_

_Every person was stirring, especially—_

"**Fiend Barton!**"

Clint cackled evilly as he crawled through the air vents covered in pop tart crumbs. Every since the raspberry fiasco a few days ago, Clint had been pranking Thor in revenge. Today it had been destroying Thor's pop tarts while said god watched, helpless, as the poor pop tarts were smashed to frosting covered crumbs and then set on fire and turned to ashes, which were then thrown out the window. Right now, Clint's thoughts were somewhere between _Mwahahahaha! _and _Oh my f***king god that was awesome!_

Hearing Thor's rampage behind him, Clint scuttled faster, and tumbled out of the air vents into the small area behind the tower. It was probably best for him to not be present until Thor forgot the whole thing.

Clint strolled nonchalantly around the back streets of Manhattan, enjoying the clear day out. A blackberry bush stuck his arm, and he tugged himself free, turned away, and then whipped back to look at it again. The berries were ripe. Clint grinned. He started plucking off the blackberries and stuffing them in his mouth, when he realized that it would be more fun if he had a partner... but he wasn't stupid enough to go back to tower yet. How could he get anyone out here?

The archer smiled. "Loki," he said aloud, "If you come here right now, I swear on Thor's destroyed pop tarts that you will not regret it!"

Loki appeared with a pop and a rather annoyed expression. "Fine. Since I am curious, I shall humor you for a little while. But I am not in the best of moods, seeing as how I've been attempting to placate Thor after **someone** destroyed his pop tarts." Loki stated, looking pointedly at Clint, who shrugged.

"Here, try this!" Clint said, passing him a blackberry. Loki popped it in his mouth and immediately brightened.

"These are pleasant," the god said, sounding surprised.

Clint smirked. "Told you that you wouldn't regret it."

Soon, both of them were happily stuffing their faces with the berries and not caring about the red juice covering their hands. Suddenly Loki yelped and put his hands over his ears. "Damn, Thor, do always have to yell for me?" he muttered darkly. "Excuse me, I need to placate my brother again. I shall return shortly." he told Clint before poofing off, reappearing a second later next to Thor.

"Loki!" Thor began to whine, "I—"

Loki waited for the rest of Thor's complaints to come, but they didn't. Said god of thunder was staring at Loki's hands. "Loki, you are bleeding!" he shrieked suddenly, holding Loki's hands tightly to stem the flow. Loki rolled his eyes.

"Thor, it's not blood," he tried to explain, but Thor was hysterical.

"Brother, you are in need of medical attention!" Thor yelled, dragging Loki off to Tony and Bruce's lab. "FRIEND BRUCE! I REQUIRE YOUR HELP DESPERATELY!"

Bruce jumped slightly, but came over. His eyebrows raised when he saw Loki's hands. "Loki's hands are bleeding!" Thor told him, panicked. Bruce's eyes narrowed in suspicion. Loki was in no pain whatsoever, and _what_ was that smell...

Bruce burst out laughing, realizing that Loki's hands were simply covered in blackberry juice. Thor, however, became angry.

"WHY DO YOU LAUGH?! THIS IS NO JOKING MATTER! MY BROTHER IS WOUNDED!" The furious god screamed.

"Thor, Loki is fine, he just has blackberry juice on his hands! Here, look..." Bruce pulled Loki over to a sink and ran the water over the dark haired god's hands, washing away the red, showing unmarred skin.

"What? I do not understand..." Thor spluttered.

"Thor, I am fine. I always was. My hands got messy, so what? That happens sometimes. Now, if you'll excuse me..." Loki trailed off, teleporting himself back to the blackberry patch.

* * *

**Sooo, what'd ya think? As happy with it as I am? I hope so! :)  
**

**Maybe one day soon I'll count my requests again, but I don't feel like doing it tonight, so just know that even though I have a lot, I'm still open for more! I will try not to turn down any requests.**

**This fantastical story would be nothing without your reviews and requests! Keep 'em coming, cuz as long as I'm getting them, this story stays up until I think it's finished. (which may be never...)  
**


	39. Thor vs the Rainbow Bug

**Ack, I'm late again. -_- So sorry! Anyways, thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! You guys radiate awesomeness! :D**

**So, this chapter was requested by J (guest)! I hope you like it! It's a bitty bit short, but oh well!**

**Disclaimer: ...Yeah. Can't think of a creative way to say it. I don't own the characters!**

* * *

Natasha was a butterfly magnet.

The Black Widow, Natasha Romanoff, special SHIELD agent, and assassin, was a butterfly magnet.

"Why am I not surprised?" Tony muttered.

They were in Central Park, and Natasha had a butterfly in her hair, and another on her shoulder. Tony, surprisingly, had a butterfly perched on his arc reactor, which he blamed Pepper for. She was the one who had chosen a spot close to butterfly flowers for their picnic, after all.

Thor was not happy with the butterflies. Why wouldn't the Midgardian insects leave him alone! He batted away a butterfly that got too close. Everyone looked horrified.

"**Thor!** How could you **kill** a **butterfly?!**" Clint asked, angry.

Natasha glared. Bruce took calming breaths. Loki narrowed his eyes. Suddenly, a completely rainbow butterfly flew out of nowhere and landed on Thor's nose, much to his annoyance. He lifted his hand to bat it away, but his team cried out sharply.

"**Don't you **_**dare**_**kill another butterfly!**" Natasha hissed through clenched teeth.

"The butterfly never did anything to you!" Clint wailed.

Bruce didn't have to say anything when his eyes flashed green.

Thor gulped, and let the butterfly sit on his nose, waiting for it to fly away. It didn't. He frowned. It was unnaturally rainbow...

Thor glared at Loki, who smiled back innocently. "Loki," Thor growled.

"What?" said god asked. "Are you accusing me of turning into a butterfly just to bug you and leaving an illusion her to fool you? I'm hurt!" Loki gasped dramatically, clasping a hand to his heart. Tony poked him, causing the god to glare at him.

"Well, he isn't an illusion," Tony concluded. Pepper rolled her eyes at him.

Meanwhile, Thor continued to stare at the bug on his nose. Eventually it turned into a staring contest. The butterfly fluttered it's wings, making Thor sneeze, and therefor lose the contest. Thor glared at the butterfly. He slapped at it, but it flew just out of his reach and settled back down on his nose. Thor growled. The butterfly purred. Thor's eye twitched in annoyed anger.

Finally, Thor gave up. "LOKI! I SURRENDER! I REGRET THE DEATH OF THE INSECT! JUST **MAKE IT GO AWAY!**"

"Apology accepted, although I don't know what you want me to make go away," Loki said with fake innocence. The butterfly continued to stare at Thor.

Thor wailed. The butterfly creeped him out. Majorly.

* * *

**Mwahahahaha! Return of the Rainbow Bug! :D**

**I have a ton of requests, but I'm always open to more! I will try not to turn anyone down.**

***Rainbow Bug lands on your nose again* It won't go away until you review. Simple as that. Mwahahaha, I'm evil! }:)**


	40. Thor vs the shower

**Hey! It's Sunday! So, another post! Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed. It means so much to me! *-***

**Anyway, this short & sweet chappie of awesomeness was requested by JDM (guest). I hope you like it! Also, it comes after the toothpaste chapter. Just remember that, people.**

**Disclaimer: I will only own the Avengers when Thor manages to overcome his fear of oranges. In other words, I never own the Avengers.**

* * *

Tony had another one of **those** questions. Sometime after the toothpaste disaster, it had popped into his head, and he was **dying** to have it answered. So he positioned himself right by the pop tart cupboard. Soon, Thor came in.

"Hey Thor, do Asgardians take showers?" Tony asked.

Thor's brows furrowed. "What is a shower?"

Tony sighed. "I mean, do Asgardians get clean?"

Thor still looked confused. "...We take bathes..." he offered.

"So you don't know what a shower is? You must know!" Tony declared, grabbing Thor and dragging him to Thor's room. "This," he gestured to the shower, "is called a shower. You turn it on, and it sprays water. Good luck!" And with that, Tony left the bewildered Thor with the Midgardian device.

Thor, still confused, poked the shower head experimentally. It fell off, and the water started spraying everywhere. Thor stared at the shower, assuming it was supposed to do that. After all, it was spraying water, wasn't it?

Still unsure what to do, Thor went back up to the kitchen and found Tony. "Friend Tony, how do I make the 'shower' stop spraying water?"

"Really, Point Break? Fine, I'll show you," Tony grumbled. As soon as he entered, though, his mouth fell open.

"I assume that happens sometimes?" Thor asked, meaning the water spraying everywhere.

"No, it **doesn't** happen, because you are not supposed to **break the shower!**" Tony exclaimed.

"It is broken?" Thor asked. "I thought it was supposed to spray water..."

Tony facepalmed.

But the water was still coming, so he pulled a wine cork out of his pocket and stuffed it up the open pipe. The water stopped.

"Talk to Pepper sometime about showers. She's more patient than me." Tony growled, stalking off.

At least he got the answer to his question.

* * *

**Yup, short & sweet! XD**

**I am always open to requests, fruit and otherwise! Don't be afraid to request something if you want to see it!**

**If you don't review, your water pipes will break/combust/spray everywhere. Just warning you...**


	41. Thor vs the cumquat

**Heyo! I'm back! :) Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed. ^-^ You people are fantastical! *-* :D**

**So, this chappie was requested by I-have-an-original-pen-name. I hope you like it! :D**

**Disclaimer: This story is mine! Just not the characters...**

* * *

The random person sat back on her heels. She had finished planting her garden on her roof, and it was beautiful, if she did say so herself. She was rather fond of citrus trees, and just planted her cumquat tree. The random person smiled happily and went back into her house.

* * *

Thor looked around. This wasn't the Tower roof. Why did Heimdall set him down here after his visit to Asgard? Thor looked up and saw Stark Tower in the distance. He sighed in relief. He could fly there.

He started twirling his hammer, but something fell on his head. Thor stopped and looked at it. His eyes went wide as he looked at the small, oval orange ball of terror. He slowly looked above him to find an entire army of orange balls of terror poised over him, ready to pounce on him.

Thor let out a rather high pitched scream and smashed down the tree before its army could attack him. He was about to pat himself on the back for a job well done when an equally loud and high pitched scream greeted.

"**How dare you! You killed my cumquat tree! Oh, you shall **_**pay!**_" A random person screeched at him. She picked some of the cumquats from the fallen tree and pelted the god with them. Thor cowered under the assault of the orange balls of terror.

"PLEASE! STOP, PUNY MORTAL! TWAS AN ACCIDENT!" Thor yelled desperately.

"Oh, you did _**not**_ just call me puny!" the random person yelled. "I **was** just going to kill you, but _**now**_ I'm sending you to **hell**!"

"LOKI!" Thor called.

Loki appeared with a pop. "What is it, Thor?" he said, exasperated. "I have better things to do than to clean up your messes again."

"He destroyed my prized cumquat tree!" the random person yelled. Loki quirked an eyebrow and waved his hand. The tree flew back together and into its spot on the roof garden. The random person squealed in happiness and flying tackle hugged Loki.

"Oh my gods thank you thank you **thank you!**" she exclaimed excitedly before skipping away and leaving a stunned Loki in her wake. Thor pulled himself up and tried to brush off the cumquat juice.

"Right, I've cleaned up you mess again, it happens sometimes, now I'm going." Loki announced and poofed away. Thor pouted and flew with his hammer to the Tower.

* * *

**Yay! Another random person! :) Random people are fun to write... ;D**

**O.O ...After I said how many requests I had, people suddenly seemed to stop sending them in... I'm starting to get scared...**

**Beware, young youth, for those that dost not hand over their reviews shall be smited by the Norns!**


	42. Thor vs the pizza

**Ugh. I'm late. Again -_- . So sorry! Anyways, thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed. You awesome people know who you are! :D**

**So, this chappie was requested by Lillyflower01. I hope you like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum, it's a fanfictioists life for me! (Okay, that was random) I don't own the Avengers.**

* * *

It was a nice day. Or, more precisely, it was a nice day until Steve decided that they needed to do some team bonding.

"Whyyyyyy?" Tony whined as Steve dragged him and the others into the kitchen.

"Because." Steve said, simply and firmly. "So, we're going to make pizza!"

"But I can just order as much pizza as we want!" Tony protested. "Billionaire ring a bell?"

Steve glared at him. "That's not the point. The **point** is it's supposed to be team bonding."

"So you've said," Tony muttered.

"This really isn't a bad idea," Bruce said.

"Finally!" Steve said happily. "Someone who agrees with me!"

"What is this 'pizza' you speak of?" Thor asked. All eyes turned to him. Tony gawked.

"You don't know what **pizza** is?! Right, we **must **make pizza!"

"Now you agree with me," Steve grumbled. "Anyway, I got some pre-made pizza dough at the store." Steve proceeded to pass out clumps of pizza dough and tried to explain to Thor what to do. Loki simply stood back and watched as his pizza dough kneaded itself and then rose spinning in the air. He glanced at Thor and got a glint in his eye. The next time his pizza dough flew up, it "accidentally" landed on Thor's head.

"LOKI!" Thor bellowed. Loki shrugged.

"That happens sometimes," he said smoothly. "It's hard for one to concentrate when you keep talking about pop tart dough."

Thor glared and tried to get the dough out of his lovely hair. By the time he had extracted most of it, the others had moved on to the tomato sauce and Thor still had a decent amount of pizza in his hair.

"Alright, Loki," Steve said, exasperated. "You can stop making pizza, since you're obviously only going to use it for your mischief." Loki smirked and went into the corner of the kitchen. "Now, Thor, you put this toma... red stuff on your dough," Steve explained to Thor, wisely avoiding mentioning that is was **tomato** sauce.

"What is in it?" Thor asked, peering into the jar.

"Tomatoes," Loki supplied helpfully from the corner.

Thor's eyes grew wide. "THE LITTLE RED BALLS OF TERROR!" He screeched. He summoned his hammer and smashed the tomato sauce (or at least as much as he could smash sauce) before the balls of terror had a chance to attack him. Sauce sprayed everywhere as the Avengers tried to dive for cover. Loki simply teleported away. Unluckily, all of the Avengers, including Thor, were now covered in sauce.

"**Thor!**" they all yelled, pouncing on the god.

* * *

_Later..._

"Next time, how about I just order pizza?" Tony asked.

The others silently agreed.

* * *

**So! How wazzat? Good? Glad you thought so! :D**

**Requesters be warned that requests will take a long time to show up, and I'm not kidding when I mean a _long_ time. But please don't let that discourage you! I WILL get to it! ...Eventually.**

**Review (please). You don't want to know what will happen to you if you don't. }:)**


	43. Thor vs the TV

**I'm late. Again. -_- And I cut my finger with a knife. I feel like such and idiot. It was the first slice, and I just cut my finger. So smart... Anyhoo, thanks to those lovelies who reviewed/favorited/followed! It means a lot! *-***

**So, this chappie was requested by Lillyflower01. I hope you like it! :D**

**Disclaimer: Clearly, someone as idiotic as me couldn't possibly own the Avengers.**

* * *

Thor was almost blinded by all the green when he walked into the kitchen. There were green streamers, green plants, and green paper on the walls. Even Tony, who wasn't one for the color green, was completely dressed in the color. Loki looked happy to be surrounded by the green, while Clint looked annoyed at the green hat he was wearing. Natasha had on a green cardigan and scarf. Steve had a green hat much like Clint's.

"What is going on?" Thor asked, unable to keep his voice from booming.

Tony bounded over happily and pinched him.

"Ouch! Friend Tony, what was that for?" Thor said indignantly.

"It's St. Patrick's Day! And you're not wearing green!" Tony crowed. "Capsicle and Birdy over there forgot too. You must have a party hat!" he declared, plopping a green hat on Thor's head.

"I do not understand..." Thor muttered, confused.

"Basically, it is a holiday of these Midgardians on which they celebrate St Patrick. Saint Patrick's Day is observed on March 17, the date of his death. It is celebrated both inside and outside Ireland, as both a religious and, especially outside Ireland, secular holiday. In the dioceses of Ireland, it is both a solemnity and a holy day of obligation; outside Ireland, it can be a celebration of Ireland itself.

"The absence of snakes in Ireland gave rise to the legend that they had all been banished by St. Patrick, who chased them into the sea after they attacked him during a 40-day fast he was undertaking on top of a hill. This hagiographic theme draws on the mythography of the staff of the prophet Moses. In Exodus, Moses and Aaron use their staffs in their struggle with Pharaoh's sorcerers, the staffs of each side morphing into snakes. Aaron's snake-staff prevails by consuming the other snakes. However, all evidence suggests that—"

"We get it!" Tony shouted. "Anyway, it's an excuse to wear green and pinch people who aren't."

Loki huffed at his speech getting cut off and glared at Tony.

"I see," Thor said, experimentally poking a glass shamrock. It shattered.

Tony sighed. "Why don't you go watch TV or something? Pepper's gonna kill me if all her shamrocks break."

Confused, Thor went into the next room over. He found a large, black, flat surface. He saw some buttons on it and started pushing them randomly. Suddenly, it came to life, showing colors and making noise.

"—_We have the best oranges, and they're on sale! Don't miss this chance! Come in today before the season is over!"_

Thor's eyes widened as oranges appeared on the screen. "LITTLE ORANGE BALLS OF TERROR!" he screamed. In desperation, he summoned his hammer and smashed the black box.

"What's going on?" Tony said, as he came to investigate. He saw the smashed TV, and his eyes widened. "**You killed Timothy?! Die!**" he screeched, launching himself at the god.

"What's happening..." Clint asked, followed by the others as they entered the room as well. They watched for a while, before Natasha pulled out her phone and caught in on video tape. She uploaded it to YouTube, labelled: **That Happens Sometimes**

* * *

**So... yah! Hope you liked! XD**

**Requests, I love requests, fruit all around! :)**

**If you don't review, you will have bad luck. And possibly have trouble with the simplest things.**


	44. Thor vs the starfruit

**O.O ...over 400 reviews... oh my gods... You. Guys. Are. The. Freaking. BEST! Oh my gods, I just cannot thank you all enough! *-* I think I'm going to go into happiness overload! :D :D :D Cookies for everyone! (::) (::) (::)**

**So, this lovely chappie was requested by Italy's Tomato and TinaFrostDahMuffinburger. I hope you like it! ^-^**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers or the song _This is the Ultimate Showdown_. Sadly.**

* * *

Bruce is smart. Bruce is a scientist. Bruce is not an idiot.

Bruce should have known not to introduce yet another exotic fruit to Stark Tower.

But alas! He allowed his want of the amazing starfruit to triumph his caution. And that is how it all began.

Or you could say it all began when Bruce was diligently chopping a starfruit into stars, and got distracted when yet another thing exploded in the lab, and he went to help Tony, leaving his stars on their plate on the table. Enter Thor, who only wanted to eat his pop tarts. He saw the stars and studied them.

"What are these?" he asked aloud.

"Carambola, also known as starfruit, a species of tree native to the Philippines, Indonesia, Malaysia, India, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka. The fruit is popular throughout Southeast Asia, the South Pacific, and parts of East Asia. The tree is also cultivated throughout non-indigenous tropical areas, such as in Latin America, the Caribbean, and the southern United States."

Thor jumped with surprise and whirled around to find Loki smirking at him. "Loki! Do not do that!" he said, still startled.

Loki shrugged. "You're the one who asked." he said dryly.

"So..." said Thor, fidgeting. "What were they again?"

Loki sighed. "They're stars, Thor. Some of those bright dots in the sky, harvested on the new moon when Jotunheim and Svartalfheim are parallel to each other."

"Oh," Thor said.

"If you eat them, they make you stronger," Loki added, a twinkle of mischief in his eyes.

Thor's eyes lit up. That was something he could understand. He happily started to eat the "stars" just as Bruce came back up.

"**Hey!** Those are mine!" he said angrily.

Thor looked guilty. "They are?"

"Yes!" Bruce stressed, annoyed. "Do you **think** someone would just leave out star slices for someone to take?!"

"...Yes?" Thor tried.

"No!" Bruce yelled.

"...That happens sometimes?"

Bruce attacked.

Loki started singing.

"_This is the ultimate showdown of Ultimate Destiny!  
_

_Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see,  
_

_and only one will survive, I wonder who it will be!  
_

_This is the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny!_"

* * *

**:)**

**If there's something you want to see, don't hesitate to send in your request! I will try not to turn you down.**

**If you're one of the people who helped me get to 400 reviews, thankyousomuchohmygods! If you aren't, please help me get to 500?**


	45. Thor vs the dark chocolate

**Hi! I'm late. Again. Sorry! Anyways, Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! You guys are what keep this story going!**

**So, this chappie was requested by Agent-Hamilton123. I hope you like it! It's really, really short...**

**Disclaimer: MARVEL, suing me won't work, 'cause I claim nothing. SO THERE!**

* * *

Natasha munched her dark chocolate happily. Yes, the master spy liked chocolate. It made her happier than usual.

Just then, Thor came in. "Lady Natasha, what is that sustenance?" he asked.

"Chocolate," she replied, holding out a piece. "You want some?"

Thor accepted and popped the unfamiliar substance in his mouth. His face scrunched up in distaste. "It is most bitter!" he announced. "I do not see your taste for it, Lady Natasha."

"Don't get between a woman and her chocolate," Natasha warned.

Thor hummed thoughtfully. Then he started bouncing on his toes. "I feel... full of energy..."

"It happens sometimes. That's the chocolate kicking in," Natasha informed him. "It might make you hyper."

Thor nodded, a happy smile on his face. "LadyNatshaIlikethisfeeling." he said, speaking too fast to be understood well.

Natasha nodded in understanding. "Yup!" she said happily.

"Imustsharethiswonderfulthing withmybrother!" Thor rambled and dashed off.

"The god of thunder reduced to giggling randomness when he eats dark chocolate," Natasha muttered. "Good thing to remember."

* * *

**I meant it when I said it was short. :)  
**

**I'm always open to requests! Don't be afraid to send one in! Remember, I don't bite. ;)**

**A review would really make my day (night). Leave one?**


	46. Thor vs Tony's coffee machine

**I didn't post on Sunday. Again. And I really don't have an excuse this time. I was just feeling tired and like anything I wrote would be crap. And I didn't want you guys to have to read crap, so I didn't write. But I WILL double post tonight. On that happy note, thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! *-* There are no words to describe how awesome you all are!**

**Anyways... this chappie of awesomeness was requested by Alexisagirl. I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: As if I somehow got ownership of the Avengers over the span of four days...**

* * *

"Yes!" Tony yelled in triumph, fist pumping the air. "Done!"

His creation came to life and beeped, whirring in a small circle happily. Dummy came forward for a closer look at the new bot.

"I finished!" Tony squealed, managing to sound like an overexcited fangirl.

"Finished what?" Pepper, who had just entered the lab, inquired.

"Sotiri!" Tony cackled, positively ecstatic. Seeing Pepper's confused look, he clarified, "Sotiri is its name. I made my awesome coffee machine! And it cooks eggs, too!"

"Tony—"

"Sorry, Pep!" Tony sing-songed, heading out of the lab with his coffee maker, "I have to go test out my awesomeness!"

Pepper sighed fondly and put the papers that she needed Tony to sign on top of his keyboard.

* * *

_The next day..._

Thor looked curiously at the new Midgardian device on the counter. He poked one of the buttons, yelping when it came to life and sprouted arms. It started beeping and a dark substance started dripping into a pot.

"Er..." Thor said, not sure what to do. "Strange creature, what is your purpose? Are you an intruder?"

The little thing just beeped at him. Thor tried poking it again. It beeped indignantly and reached with one arm to dump the growing contents of the pot on the god's head.

"YOU DARE ATTACK THE SON OF ODIN!" Thor screamed just as Tony entered.

"**No! Don't you dare hurt my Sotiri!**" Tony screamed, throwing the empty cup that he was going to refill with coffee at Thor's head.

Natasha entered the room as well and shook her head in exasperation. "Why am I not surprised that you named your coffee maker?" she asked rhetorically.

Tony saw her and gave her a pleading look. "Natasha! I saw you get some coffee from Sotiri earlier! You'll help me get revenge on Thor for trying to hurt him, won't you?"

Natasha's eyes grew wide. "He tried to **what?!**" she asked, horrified. "Sotiri is so nice!" her gazed turned to Thor with anger. "How dare you?!"

Thor got a expression that looked remarkably like O.O as he tried to beg, "PLEASE! PITY! I DID NOT KNOW! IT HAPPENS SOMETIMES!"

Sotiri beeped pathetically, managing to sound wounded. Tony and Natasha's glares were intensified as they threw themselves at the thunder god.

* * *

**Sotiri means "Savior" in Greek. :D My awesome sister, I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain found it.**

**If there's a fruit or otherwise that you want to see, send me a request! I won't know what you want to see if you don't tell me!**

**Please review! It will make Sotiri happy!**

**Sotiri: *beeps cutely at you***


	47. Thor vs the mangosteen

**...And here's the second one! :D**

**I won't keep you waiting, since I had such a long author note last time, so, without further ado, this lovely chappie was requested by RainbowSkylar. I hope you like it! XD**

**Disclaimer: As if I somehow managed to get ownership of the Avengers in less than an hour.**

* * *

Thor was reading a book.

"Well, that's a first." Loki commented dryly, making Thor jump.

"LOKI!" Thor yelled, startled. "Don't do that!"

Loki smirked as he peered over Thor's shoulder. His eyebrow raised critically. "Really, brother?" he asked. "You **finally** decide to read, and you pick a** bad** novel? Next time, ask **me** for something to read. I'm sure I could find you one with enough gore even for you."

Thor huffed. "What do you mean? This is a fantastic book!"

Loki rolled his eyes and left, muttering about crappy authors.

Thor struggled to turn the page, but only succeeded in getting a finger cut. He hissed, and got up, heading for Bruce's room.

"Friend Bruce! I am in dire need of medical attention—" Thor yelled, storming into Bruce's room and putting pressure on the paper cut. Bruce didn't seem to be there. Thor looked around at the couch, the small table, the tree—

Tree?

Thor did a double take and turned to look at the tree again. It was sitting in a pot right by the window, basking in a little patch of sun. Thor got closer, and noticed small, purple **things** on the tree. He poked one, causing the fruit to pop.

Just then Bruce entered. He saw Thor poking his mangosteen tree, and his eyes widened. "**No!**" he said desperately. "Don't touch my mangosteen tree!"

Startled, Thor leapt back, accidentally knocking the tree over. Bruce rushed over, but was too late to stop it, and the big, ceramic pot shattered, spreading dirt across the floor. Panicked, Bruce scooped up the tree (even though it was bigger than he was [when he wasn't the Hulk]) and, with no other place in mind, put it in his bathtub.

He turned to Thor, eyes flashing green. "Thor," he said, dangerously low.

"That happens sometimes!" Thor said desperately, but quietly. "I need to go... polish Mjonlir..." Thor excused himself, turning and fleeing.

* * *

**Yup! So that's that!**

**Got Requests? Send 'em in! I will try to do them!**

**If you read the author not last time, you would know that reviews make Sotiri happy. So, please review!**


	48. Thor vs the olives

**Hello, darlings! I'm back! Thanks a zillion bijillion to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed. You guys are made of awesomeness! ^-^**

**So, this suspenseful chappie of awesomeness was requested by reader (guest). I hope you like it! :D**

**Disclaimer: Fe, fi, fo, fum, I don't own the Avengers, but you knew that already.**

* * *

Clint dug in the refrigerator for a snack, annoyed by the lack of fruit. Finally, he settled on a jar of olives and twisted the lid. It wouldn't open.

Clint growled in frustration as he tried to open his jar of olives. "Open, stupid thing!" he yelled. It wouldn't budge. He glared at it for a while. If looks could open jars...

"You think you're so smart? Well, prepare to be Hawkeye'd," Clint said darkly, pulling a can opener out of a drawer. However, seeing as the jar was not a can, it didn't work. "Don't go anywhere!" Clint said as he ran out to get one of his explosive arrows.

Not long later, Thor, our favorite thunder god, entered. He went past the jar without glancing twice, pulled out a pop tart, and started eating it unheated. He saw the jar and choked on his pop tart.

"AAAAAAAAAH! CANNIBALISM!" Thor screamed, dropping the pastry. "MIDGARDIANS' EYES!"

Thor, certain that the olives were human eye balls, backed away slowly, his own eyes wide. "MIDGARDIAN CUSTOMS ARE HORRIBLE!"

Just then, Clint dropped in, literally, from the air vents. He looked at the olives, then back at Thor, then got a mischievous grin. He rolled his eyes up and lurched forward, like a zombie. Thor had been introduced to enough zombie movies to get it and scrambled away.

"Brains..." Clint moaned. Then, pretending to see the jar of olives on the counter for the first time, lurched towards them. "Eyes," he said, grabbing the jar and throwing it on the ground, where it shattered. He dropped down and popped one in his mouth. "but not as good as brains." he said throwing an evil grin in Thor's direction.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH ! HEEEEEEEEEELP! CLINT IS A ZOMBIE!" Thor screamed, fleeing the room. Clint fell over laughing. He finished off his olives as Bruce came in.

"Clint!" he scolded. "Don't eat stuff off the floor! It's unhealthy!"

"Sorry," the archer said sheepishly.

"BRUCE!" Thor wailed, having somehow made it back into the kitchen. "CLINT IS A ZOMBIE!"

Right on cue, Clint lurched toward to god, yelling, "Brains!"

Bruce, bless his mischievous streak, started acting like a zombie as well. "...need brains..." he groaned.

Thor's eyes went even wider as he ran away screaming. The two stumbled and staggered after him. Soon, the trio ran into Natasha. Clint grabbed her hand and whispered, "We're going to pretend to eat your brains, and then you can help us scare the the f*** out of Thor."

She grinned, and as Thor dashed around the corner, started screaming bloody murder. Then all three of them chased Thor all around the tower.

All too soon, however, Steve came in. "What's going on?" he asked firmly.

"OUR FRIENDS ARE ZOMBIES!" Thor sobbed.

Steve blinked. "No, they aren't," he said. "they're just playing a prank on you. You should know by now that it happens sometimes."

Clint groaned. "Thanks for ruining the fun, Cap," he murmured darkly.

"So... they are not zombies?" Thor asked hesitantly. Steve shook his head, and Thor sighed in relief.

Bruce, Natasha, and Clint all sulked their separate ways.

* * *

**This was kinda based on a PM I had with Kaisha Shiori... yah. XD**

**I can't die before I end this story, and since I will never be able to finish this story with all the requests I have, I need a way to become immortal...**

**Unless you enjoy getting chased around by Avengers pretending to be zombies, reviewing would be a really good idea. *creepy smile***


	49. Thor vs the annoying orange

**Hey peeps! Happy Easter! ...oops, I didn't make this one Easter themed... oh well. Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! Cookies for everyone! XD (::) (::) (::)**

**Anyway, this chappie was requested by PJO is the best and Lillyflower01. I hope you like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers. Neither do I own the Annoying Orange. Heck, there's a lot of things I don't own.**

* * *

Tony was browsing YouTube when he found it. He froze and watched the video again, then rewatched. Finally, he burst out laughing. He cackled so hard her fell off his chair and rolled on the floor.

"Sir... are you alright?" Jarvis asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, 'm fine," Tony said, brushing away tears. "Jarvis, you up for a prank?"

"For you sir, always." Jarvis said, sounding resigned.

* * *

It took Thor a while to figure out that the elevator wasn't going anywhere. Longer than it would have taken a normal person. But, of course, Thor isn't normal, nor is he a person.

Anyway, he poked the buttons experimentally. The elevator went nowhere.

Starting to get annoyed, Thor tried to force the doors open, but they wouldn't budge.

Now thoroughly mad, Thor banged on the elevator door. "LET ME OUT, MIDGARDIAN DEVICE!" he yelled angrily.

Suddenly, a screen popped out of a wall, and a video showing an orange began. _"Hey Apple!" _it said. _"Apple! Hey, hey Apple! Apple! Hey Apple!"_

Thor backed away in horror. "NOT ANOTHER LITTLE ORANGE BALL OF HORROR! AND IT TALKS!" he screamed.

"_Hey Apple, Apple, hey Apple! Hey Apple!"_

"_What? What is it?"_ the apple said at last.

"_Orange you glad I didn't say Apple again? Hahahaha!"_

"_Yeah, that joke was funny the first four hundred times you said it."_

"_Hey Apple!"_

"_What?!"_

"_You look fruity. Hahahaha!"_

"_Yeah, that was hilarious."_

"STOP TALKING!" Thor cried, close to tears.

"_Hey Apple!"_

"_What?!"_

"_Can you do ten push-ups in ten seconds?"_

"_What kind of question is that? I don't even have arms, how am I going to do one push-up?"_

"_Hey!"_

"_What?!"_

"_Hey Apple!"_

"_What?!"_

"_Can you do this? Nyanyanya!"_ the orange stuck its tongue out.

"THIS IS HORRIBLE! I CANNOT TAKE IT!" Thor wailed.

"_No!"_

"_Nyanyanyanya! Try it! Nyanyanyanyanyanya!"_

"_Stop it."_

"_Nyanyanyanyanya!"_

"_You've made your point, stop it!"_

"SOMEONE STOP THIS!" Thor screamed, ripping open the doors—

—to find that there was nowhere for him to go, since the elevator was stuck in between floors.

"DEATH IS BETTER THAN THIS!" Thor declared, jumping out of the elevator.

Needless to say, he didn't die. Hello, god ring a bell?

* * *

**Yup! There it is! :)**

**I counted my requests recently, and I had a lot. Over a hundred, and only 40 something that I had already done. Just sayin', requests won't show up for a while.**

**Hey! Hey reader! Hey, hey reader! Reader, hey reader! Hey reader! Reader! Hey reader! Review! (please)**


	50. Thor vs the chocolate orange

**Oh my gods! I almost forgot to post! Thanks to my sister, I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain, who got up and was like "Oh my gods I need to post!" and I was like "Oh my gods, so do I!" And thus I was saved from a double post on Thursday.**

**Anyway, this lovely chappie was requested by Pergjithshme. I hope you like it! Also, since I didn't make my last chappie Easter themed even though it was on Easter, this one is a s late Easter chappie! :)**

**Disclaimer: MWAHAHAHA! NOBODY CAN SUE ME CUZ I'M NOT CLAIMING THE AVENGERS! XD**

* * *

Pepper entered the lab with something held behind her back. "Tony, how long have you been down here?" she asked.

"Huh?" he said, distracted. "Oh, I dunno."

"Did you realize that you completely missed Easter?" Pepper asked.

Tony blinked. "I did? I thought Easter was next Sunday!"

Pepper sighed in exasperated fondness. "Anyway, happy belated Easter!" she said, pulling out a wrapped sphere and handing it to him.

"I... er..." he struggled, face crestfallen. "I... didn't get you anything..." he finally muttered, looking away.

Pepper laughed, and Tony gave a sheepish smile. "You didn't need to get me anything," she said, motioning for him to open the gift. Tony consented and unwrapped the foil, revealing a ball of chocolate.

Tony's eyes lit up. "A chocolate orange!" he said happily, trying to pry it open.

"I thought you might like it," Pepper told him, amusement in her voice. "since **someone** destroys all the real ones."

"Thanks!" Tony said, pecking her on the cheek before frowning. "I... can't open it..." he grunted. Then he brightened. "I'll go get my laser!" he said, turning away.

"That would melt the chocolate," Pepper deadpanned.

Tony looked crestfallen again. "Oh... well... I'll go get my Thor!" he proclaimed, turning to run off again.

"Are you sure he won't recognize the smell?" Pepper asked.

The billionaire scoffed. "Thor? He couldn't smell a durian! It'll be fine!" he said, this time running off for real.

* * *

Thor looked up from his pop tart as Tony burst in looking excited. "Thor!" he yelled. "I've got a job for you!"

"What is it, friend Tony?" Thor inquired.

"You just need to open this," Tony said, handing him the chocolate.

Thor grabbed it and split it easily down the prepared cracks. "Is that it?" he asked, handing the halves back.

"Yup!" Tony said, overjoyed. "Here, you can have piece." he said, tossing a slice to Thor.

The god brought it up to his nose and sniffed it, his eyes widening. "WHY DOES IT SMELL LIKE LITTLE ORANGE BALLS OF TERROR?!" he yelled.

"I didn't know you could use your nose, Thor." Loki said casually from his spot sitting on the counter where he hadn't been a few seconds before. "And really? You can't smell a durian or haggis, but you can recognize the smell of orange?"

"SO THEY ARE LITTLE ORRANGE BALLS OF TERROR... THAT AREN'T ORANGE! THEY ARE IN DISGUISE! THEY ARE TRYING TO ATTACK ME!" Thor screamed, nearly in hysterics.

"Right... I'm leaving." Tony said, escaping quickly with his chocolate.

* * *

**Yup! I tried to put a little fluff in the beginning... I hope it worked! ^-^**

**I'm always open to requests!**

**O.O I'm almost to 500 reviews... only nine reviews away... please review! PLEASE!**


	51. Thor vs the potato

**O.O ...over 500 reviews... I am in shock... my gods, I can't thank you all enough! *-***

**So, this chappie of awesomeness was requested by Avngerscrazygal (guest). I hope you like it! I certainly had fun writing it. ;D**

**Disclaimer: Jeg eier ikke Avengers. ("I do not own the Avengers" in Norse)**

* * *

Tony was fiddling in the lab when Steve's voice came through on of the speakers stationed around the tower for announcements.

"Hey everybody! Meet me in the kitchen! We're going to do some team bonding! And that includes you, Loki!"

Tony scowled. "Who taught Steve how to use the intercom?!" he growled aloud.

"Pepper showed me, Tony. I'm in that room with all the video feed from the cameras are, as well as the access place for the microphones. Now get up here! And Loki! Stop reading!" Steve comanded.

Tony groaned and pulled himself up from his chair and padding over to the elevator, at the very least entertained by Steve's commentary as he tried to rally the rest of the team.

"Bruce, I don't know what you're doing, but team bonding includes you! And no pulling the huge green rage monster card! Natasha, you can beat Clint in sparing later. Clint! Get away from those air vents! Loki... huh? Oh, darn, you made yourself invisible, didn't you? Well, just get up here! Thor, you do not need to bring your hammer! Loki, what does 'faen deg'* mean in Norse? ...Oh... I don't think I actually wanted to know that... Thor! You shouldn't use that kind of language!"

The elevator stopped before reaching the kitchen, and Natasha and Clint loaded in before it set off again. The reached the kitchen, and the doors dinged open again, and the three of them got out. Steve was there, of course, as was Loki and very miffed looking Thor. Just then, Bruce came in without looking up from the potato he was carving with a knife.

"Okay!" Steve said happily. "Now that we're all here... Bruce, what are you doing?"

"I'm carving a potato." Bruce said.

"...Why?" Steve asked.

"It's meditative." Bruce said.

"Hey, Science Bro," Tony tried, since Steve was getting nowhere. "what do you plan to do with your carved potato?"

Bruce looked at him curiously. "Have you ever heard of potato stamps?"

"No." Tony told him bluntly. Steve seemed to light up.

"I know what you're talking about!" he said happily. "We used to do that when I was younger, before the war. Okay, change of plans!" he announced. "I had something else planned, but now we can make potato stamps!"

Bruce looked happy to keep doing his thing while Tony groaned loudly. Loki and Thor merely seemed curious and Natasha and Clint seemed bored.

"Do we have to?" Tony whined as Steve pulled some potatoes out of a cupboard and placed them in front of the others along with knives.

"Yes," Steve said firmly, picking up his own tool and carving away. Tony sighed dramatically before picking up his potato and setting to work.

"How does this work?" Thor asked, examining his potato. Loki sighed and showed Thor what to do while the others worked. Steve got up and grabbed paper and paint from somewhere and put it on the table.

Bruce, unsurprisingly done first since he had started first, dipped his stamp in the pain before printing a neat butterfly on the paper. Loki stamped an intricate serpent on the paper. Natasha, of course, did a spider, and Clint an arrow.

Tony was very unhappy until he got a sudden light bulb in his head. "Jarvis, we still got that eye patch I stole from Fury?" he asked.

"We do, sir." Jarvis said.

"Send it up here," Tony told the AI.

"Already done, sir." Jarvis said as the elevator binged open and Dummy rolled in holding the eye patch. Tony grabbed it and stamped a pink heart onto the once completely black eye patch.

Thor was trying (and failing) to make a hammer, which was turning out more into a blob. Satisfied, he put in in the paint tray and then tried to print in on the paper. The only problem was that he was too strong and simply smashed his paint covered potato on the paper.

The god frowned as Loki laughed. He picked up the remains of his attempted stamp and tried again. It still didn't work.

Thor was starting to get frustrated. "How dare this soft thing defy the son of Odin?" he growled, squishing the remains of the potato before stalking out.

Loki chuckled. "The god of thunder defeated by a potato," he muttered. "it happens sometimes."

* * *

(*** F*** you.)**

**Forespørsler er alltid velkommen. ("Requests are always welcome." in Norse. Google translate is awesome! XD )  
**

**Vennligst vurdering! ("Please review!" and if it's not correct, blame google.)  
**


	52. Thor vs the fruit salad

**Hei, peoples! Thanks to all of you that reviewed/favorited/followed. You guys are the best readers ever! _ **

**Anyway, this chappie was requested by Avngerscrazygal (guest). I hope you like it! On a completely unrelated note, I got this Loki green sweatshirt, and I really like it! Okay, I'll shut up now.**

**Disclaimer: Loki's beard! Does anyone out there even THINK I own the Avengers?!**

* * *

Fury glared around the table at the Avengers. Really, it had taken far too much more effort to get them to a meeting than it should have. And on top of all that, Natasha was in her pajamas, Thor kept complaining about forgetting his cape, Bruce was practically asleep, Clint was fidgeting in his chair, and Tony was banging his head on the table.

Only Steve seemed to even care about the meeting, not that this was a surprise. He shot his fellow teammates disapproving glances, glaring at the archer as said person put his feet on the table. Clint scowled and took his feet off but continued to twitch.

Tony's banging on the table suddenly stopped as he lifted his head to say, "Right, we've been over all this before, can we at least get snacks since you got us all up at this ungodly hour, Captain Eye-Patch?"

Fury sighed in exasperation but nodded. Immediately, all the Avengers except for Steve jumped to their feet and stormed the snack table on one side of the room.

"I think these meetings are going to kill me," Clint moaned as he munched on a chip.

"Believe me, Legolass, we all feel that way. Well, except for Capsicle over there." Tony amended.

Thor ate a pop tart happily, letting it ease the sorrow of his missing cape. He was certain that Loki had stolen it.

Steve finally got up and served himself some fruit salad, one of the few healthy things on the table in his opinion. He frowned as he watched Thor munch on a pop tart. That was all that the god really seemed to eat. It couldn't be good for one's health.

"Want some fruit salad, Thor?" Steve asked, trying to coax the god away from his precious pop tarts.

Thor froze. "**Fruit **salad?" he asked, horrified. "THE LITTLE ORANGE BALLS OF TERROR AND ALL OF THEIR VICIOUS ALLIES ARE GANGING UP ON ME!" Thor panicked, pulling Mjonlir from his belt and smashing the bowl.

The Avengers ducked for cover, leaving an unexpecting Fury to get covered in bits of fruit. He glared at Thor with his one eye, reminding the god of his father, Odin.

"...That happens sometimes?" Thor tried.

Fury glared.

Thor ran.

* * *

Maria Hill simply stared as Thor ran through the bridge with Fury hot on his tail.

"**You motherf***ing sonofab****!**" the director screamed, looking ready to strangle Thor.

"MERCY! PLEASE! THAT HAPPENS SOMETIMES!" Thor pleaded.

Needless to say, this did not calm the furious Fury (pun intended) down in the slightest.

* * *

**So... Yah! I feel happy...**

**There may come a day when I feel completely overwhelmed by all these requests, but for now I'm still going strong! Don't be afraid to send something you want to see in!**

**Reviews are like hugs; the more you get, the better you feel!**


	53. Thor vs the ketchup

**Hei! Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed. You guys are all made of epicness! ^-^**

**So, this awesomeness chappie was requested by my sister, I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain. I hope you like it! :D**

**Disclaimer: TREMBLE BEFORE ME! I WIELD THE POWER OF BEING UN-SUE-ABLE BECAUSE I'M NOT TRYING TO CLAIM ANYTHING! MWAHAHAHAHA!**

* * *

Tony stretched as he and Bruce walked into the kitchen after a long night of working. "You know, I could really use an American cheese burger about now," he said, yawning.

Thor, who had been eating a pop tart, lifted his head. "What is a 'American cheese burger'?" he mused aloud.

Tony gave a melodramatic gasp, clasping a hand over his heart. "You don't know what a cheese burger is?! This is not permitted!"

The god now looked wary. "This is something I must know?"

"Of course!" Tony exclaimed, already pulling out meat from the freezer. "We're going to have a barbecue!"

"Tony," Bruce sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Thor doesn't **have **to know about cheese burgers."

"Yes he does!" Tony protested.

Bruce sighed. He knew nothing he said would sway Tony.

"Everybody, we're having a barbecue!" Tony announced over the speakers in the tower. "Get up to the kitchen, no exceptions!"

Apparently, nobody was as thrilled as Tony, because by the time they arrived, the burgers were already done.

"This, Point Break, is a cheese burger!" Tony announced, shoving a burger into the god's hands. "That is where you make your burger even more awesome," he pointed at a table with ketchup and mustard. Thor examined the glass ketchup bottle.

"What is this?" he asked, picking it up.

"Ketchup," Tony replied promptly.

"What is in it?" Thor asked again, turning the bottle open.

Loki's eyes sparkled mischievously, but Tony saw this and covered the god's mouth before he could say that ketchup was made from tomatoes. "Awesomeness," Tony said, shooting the disgruntled Loki a meaningful glance before removing his hand.

Thor seemed to like the sound of awesomeness, because he opened the bottled and held it over his burger.

Nothing happened.

Thor frowned and shook the bottle. "How do you get it out?"

Bruce took pity on him and came over. "Try hitting—poking the bottom." he said, realizing that a hit might shatter the glass if it was Thor that hit it.

Thor poked the bottom, and ketchup came out extremely quickly, shooting it everywhere. It covered the god and scientist, as well as splattering everyone else. Bruce wiped mashed tomato from his glasses and glance up. "How did it get up there?" he wondered aloud, amused, as he looked a a ketchup spattered ceiling.

"I guess tomatoes really do hate you, Thor," Loki said lightly.

Thor looked sick. "THERE WERE LITTLE RED BALLS OF TERROR IN IT?!" he asked.

Loki nodded.

Thor looked horrified.

* * *

**That was based on a true story. Ketchup hates my sister. She opened the bottle, and ketchup went everywhere. Just from opening it. There was even some on the highest cupboard. This happened to her at least three times.**

**Requesters should be aware of the really long waiting line. Just sayin'.**

**REVIEW! Otherwise all your ketchup to blow up on you.**


	54. Thor vs the blueberries

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed. You people are all epic. Like, really epic. Like, so epic I can't even begin to tell you how epic.  
**

**So, this chappie of awesome awesomeness was request by... get ready for it...** **HorseCrazyAvengerFreak, Kristina'sMyName, vamp of alium sativum, sweetfoxgirl13, and Guest (guest).**

**Disclaimer: What part of "I don't own this!" does Marvel not understand?!**

* * *

Maybe it would all have been avoided if Thor hadn't managed to piss off Clint. Again. Seriously, how did that gods manage to get on his bad side so frequently?

Never mind that. Right, we're rewinding.

xXx[insert static sounds here]xXx

"Why do you like high places, friend Clint?" Thor asked one morning, curious.

Clint sighed. He got asked that way too often... "I see better from a distance." he said flatly, continuing to eat his blueberries.

"In Asgard, it is considered cowardice to attack on unequal footing," Thor said, not noticing the archer's tenseness. "as you should always face your opponent with courage instead of resorting to distancing oneself from battle in order to preserve their being."

_This happens sometimes,_ Clint mentally reminded himself. _Don't get riled up over it..._

"It's not that I'm a coward, I just see better from a distance." Clint tried to explain.

Thor still didn't seem to get it.

Restraining himself from strangling the god, Clint settled for launching blueberries at him with his spoon every time he turned away.

Thor winced as yet another projectile landed squarely on his cheek, splattering on contact. "Friend Clint, I do not understand why you are throwing things at me." he said bluntly.

"Who said it's me?" Clint asked rhetorically. "Fruit have minds of their own."

To emphasize his point, Clint cleverly made it look like one of the blueberries jumped—of its own accord—out of Clint's bowl and into Thor's eye.

The blueberry splattered, getting the juice into Thor's eyes. He gasped and clapped a hand over the afflicted eye. "AAAAAAAAAH! MY EYE! THE LITTLE BLUE BALLS OF HORRIBLE NATURE ARE ATTACKING ME! **LOKI! HELP!**"

Loki popped into the kitchen, hair mussed from sleep. "Thor," he growled. "I am going back to sleep. Deal with your problems for once." And with that he went back to bed.

Thor's brain cells finally started working, and he connected "deal with your own problems" with "defeat all your enemies". And so Thor pulled Mjonlir off his belt and swung at the blueberries.

But not before Clint discretely knocked into the bowl, sending all of its contents into the god's face.

"I AM UNDER SIEGE!" Thor screamed.

Clint didn't hang around to see what happened next. He dove into the nearest air vent and made his daring escape.

* * *

**Yup! A lot of people wanted to see blueberries. :)**

**I have done 2 out of my 5 and 1/2 pages of requests. Obviously, you can that the waiting line is as long as adveritsed.**

**Let's go, peeps! We can so get 1000 reviews before this thing runs itself into the dirt!**


	55. Thor vs the fruit loops

**Oh my gods, thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! I'm almost at 600 reviews! You people are AWESOME! ^-^ On a completely random note, I vanished my math textbook! XD ...well, more like taped a black piece of paper to the front... :3**

**So, this chappie was requested by Avngerscrazygal (guest). And since I totally forgot to post on Sunday, I will come out with the next chappie soon.**

**Disclaimer: The general population must be very ignorant if they think I own the Avengers. Cuz I don't.**

* * *

Tony staggered up from the lab, yawning and tripping, to fall flat on his face. "Jarvis, make me some coffee." he commanded, voice muffled by the floor.

"Yes, sir. Might I suggest you get something to eat?" the AI said wisely.

"Yeah, that's probably the thing to do," Tony muttered, pulling himself up from the floor and walking into the corner of the counter. He glared at the corner. "One day, I will get out my power sander and destroy your sharpness," he vowed, before opening a cupboard and pulling down a box of fruit loops.

Yes, even such people as Earth's Mightiest Heroes needed fruit loops. Don't ask.

Tony poured the milk sloppily and reached in the fridge for some blueberries, frowning when he turned up empty handed. He shrugged and sat down and started eating, soon forgetting about the missing blueberries.

Just then, everyone's favorite thunder god came in, headed toward the pop tarts before he caught a glance at the fruit loops and stopped. "That is too unnatural a color to eat..." he muttered, eyes growing wide. "It must be poison!"

"What?" Tony slurred, starting to fall asleep. Thor, however, assumed that he was falling prey to the poison and dumped the rest of the cereal over Tony's head in order to prevent him from falling into a permanent sleep. "What the h***?!" Tony spluttered, shaking his head and glaring at the god.

"Friend Tony!" Thor beamed. "You have overcome the poison!"

"...What...?" Tony said, brows furrowed.

"You were about to eat poison," Thor supplied.

Tony stared at him. "I think I might be hallucinating," he muttered, leaving to take a shower.

Thor, mission completed, finally got his pop tart and munched on it. While he was in "pop tart la la land", Natasha came in, stretching her muscles. She poured herself a bowl of fruit loops and sat down, letting her mind drift.

Thor, finally noticing the newest arrival, glanced at her. His eyes widened again as he spotted her eating the same "poison" as Tony had been. Natasha was staring at the wall with a glazed look. So, of course, Thor pulled the bowl out of her hands and dumped it over her head.

Natasha was dragged out of her thoughts and glared at the god. "**What was that for?!**" she hissed.

"You were consuming poison," Thor said, slightly puzzled at her actions.

Natasha's eyes narrowed through the curtain of wet hair.

Just then, Clint also came in. It didn't take him long to grasp the situation. The two spies attacked.

Later, an aching Thor limped into his room and flopped onto his bed, grabbing Tanngrisnir and holding on tightly. "Why does this happen sometimes?" he asked the toy.

Tanngrisnir couldn't answer.

* * *

**IMPORTANT NOTE!: People continually ask me to update soon, and so I would like to remind those of you who don't know or forgot that I (usually) POST REGULARLY on SUNDAYS, TUESDAYS, and THURSDAYS. Therefore, you should know that I will be updating soon.**

**The request box is open for any who would like to put something in. Just leave your suggestion in a PM or review.**

**Please, people! My goal is to get to 1000 reviews before my sister does with her story _Loki's Pranks_! PLEASE! Help me out! D:**


	56. Thor vs the edible arrangements

**And here's the next chapter! I'll just shut up now...**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers.**

* * *

Thor had an amazing talent for pissing off his teammates. Unsurprisingly, this led to a **lot** of injuries. Luckily, he's a god, so his "battle wounds" healed quickly.

After the fruit loop incident, Thor had finally found out Jane's address and had started sending her bombardments of letters about his life, troubles, and wars with fruit. Jane, the kind, patient being that she was, comforted Thor. Eventually, she decided to send a surprise to Thor to cheer him up.

Not long later, there was a knock on Thor's door, who answered warily, and was surprised to find a nervous looking post man. "Mr. Thor?" he asked.

"Yes?" Thor replied, curious.

The man handed him a package and left. Thor, ever confused, took it into his room and opened it, pulling out a white vase holding several flowers. Thor beamed, knowing that they were from Jane. He put them on his bedside table and stared at them happily.

* * *

Perhaps a month later, Thor entered his room to find a slightly guilty looking Clint munching on his flowers.

Thor was shocked. "FIEND BARTON! HOW **DARE** YOU EAT MY FLOWERS?!" he screamed in horror.

Clint looked at him. "You do know these aren't real flowers... right? And that they're stale?"

Thor frowned. "What do you mean?"

Clint shook his head. "You really haven't heard of edible arrangements?"

The archer facepalmed when the god's answer was negative.

* * *

**So, a little tiny bit of fluff for my earlier Thor bashing. Hope it was okay!**

**Again, please help me with my goal! Pretty please with a cherry on top?**


	57. Thor vs the smoothie & fruit juice

**Hey, I'm back. And yes, I skipped a post. Again. But this time it wasn't my fault. My mom dragged me and I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain on a hiking trip to make our grandpa happy, and the first part was okay, but then towards the end we got lost and it really sucked. -_- You guys are amazing for putting up with me and my being naughty and not posting. Thanks for holding out on me.**

**So, I know I was supposed to do a double post tonight, but instead I combined both of the requests, requested by Avngerscrazygal, into one chappie. So... yah.**

**Disclaimer: If you had been reading my author notes, you would have figured out by now that I don't own the Avengers.**

* * *

Thor had been feeling very disheartened as of late. The list of things that he was avoiding was always growing, it seemed, which meant that although the kitchen was one of his favorite rooms, he was uncomfortable being so close to all kinds of fruits. Currently, he was perched awkwardly on a chair, nibbling a pop tart and glaring at a grapefruit, all the while prepared to spring into action should he be attacked.

Suddenly, Tony burst in with his signature I-have-a-great-idea-and-it-involves-blowing-stuff- up grin. "Thor!" he called to the startled god. "I have a great idea!"

"What is your idea, friend Tony?" Thor asked warily.

Tony's grin widened. "So," he began, "I noticed that you've been looking kinda down recently, and I know how to cheer you up! You can, ahem, 'drink the blood of your enemies,' as you'd put it."

Thor, interest spiked, requested, "Continue your explanation."

"So, it's simple," Tony said, pulling a strange machine out of a cupboard. "you just put some fruit in here," he tapped the glass container attached to a plastic base with buttons on it, "and then press this button," he gestured to one of the buttons, "and then this machine kills the fruit, and you get to drink the blood." Tony finished with a flourish.

After muling it over for half a second, Thor announced, "This plan, I like it!" Before Tony could stop him, he grabbed some of the fruit closest to him—the grapefruit, a banana, and an orange—and dropped them into the container and pressed the button.

Tony's eyes widened, and he dove for cover as the blender started blending the fruit up. **Without the lid on.** Thor got covered as fruit 'blood' was flung on the walls, ceiling, and every available surface. Finally, Tony crept up, careful to avoid the flying food, and turned the blender off.

Silence.

Thor hesitantly, licked his smoothie covered hand. "Interesting taste..." he mused.

Tony facepalmed.

"Here," he muttered, fishing around in the fridge for a moment before pulling out a jug of fruit juice. "just have this. Pre-made fruit blood."

Thor took the jug and took a swig straight from the bottle. He lowered it with a content look on his face. "I like this!" he announced.

"Like what?" Loki asked as he entered, nose firmly in a book.

"Brother!" Thor said gleefully, bounding over. "Try this fruit blood!"

Unluckily for Thor, his enthusiasm made him spill the juice on Loki's book, as well as a fair amount on said Frost Giant. Loki slowly lifted his eyes from the now unreadable text to glare at Thor, who only now realized what he'd done and was backing away.

Loki carefully and deliberately set the ruined book on the counter before turning to Thor and launching himself at said god, screeching, "**Book murderer!**"

"NO, NONONO! LOKI! PLEASE! YOU KNOW THAT IT HAPPENS SOMETIMES!" Thor pleaded, raising his arms to defend himself.

Meanwhile, Tony leaned back and watched the cat fight, making a mental note to **never** touch Loki's books.

* * *

**Yeah. Never touch Loki's books. ;P**

**Requests are always welcome, although requesters should be aware that requests submitted now through a PM or review will take months to show up. Just bare with me.**

***gives you the puppy dog eyes* Pwease can I have weview? *-***


	58. Thor vs the fruit tart

**Sorry this took so long! FanFiction was being naughty and not working for me. But here it is! And I cannot thank you all enough for all of the wonderful reviews! You guys make me want to turn into a seven year old and run around my house in a pink tutu and scream with delight. ^-^**

**So, this chappie was requested by Avngerscrazygal (guest). I hope you like it! Also, I'm not sure when National Pie Day is, or even if itexeists, but oh well.**

**Disclaimer: If there are 7 red marbles, 18 blue marbles, 12 purple marbles, and 0 green marbles, all in a bag, the chance that I will own the Avengers is equivalent to the probability that I will pull a green marble out of the bag.**

* * *

"Everybody wake up!" Tony's voice blasted through the speakers. "It's National Pie Day!"

Steve rolled out of bed groggily, glaring at the ceiling.

"I see you there, Cap! Get your spangly self up here! And no arguing, Brucie, I know you like pie! Remember, I caught you a few nights stuffing your face with pie! Thor... what? Loki, kindly explain what 'gå til helvete'* meansfor me, will you? ...Aw, c'mon Thor! It won't be that bad! **Barton!** Get out of my ventilation systems! Aw, the itsy bitsy spider tried to climb up the water spout or what, Romanoff! You look like a drowned cat! ...Fine, fine, I'll lay off on you if you **get the f*** up here!**"

Steve stumbled up to the kitchen and entered to find...

...pies covering every available surface. Tony himself was lounging in the only chair that wasn't occupied by pies and watching everyone on one of his tablet things. "Nice of you to join the party, Cap'n," he said happily.

"Don't make me regret it," Steve muttered.

Tony grinned a wolfish smile. "Just wait until National Pancake Day." he said slyly.

Steve facepalmed as the two SHIELD agents entered. Clint's face lit up as he took in all the pies while Natasha simply rolled her eyes, a smile tugging at her lips. Clint reached for the pie nearest him when Loki and Thor poofed into the kitchen, Thor's foot landing in the pie.

"Hey!" Clint cried indignantly. "I was gonna eat that!"

"My apologies, friend Clint," Thor said sheepishly.

Clint huffed. "There are other pies," he murmured, reaching for the next closest to him.

The elevator dinged open, and Bruce walked in, promptly stepping in a pie. He raised a brow at the almost un-navigational kitchen. Tony smiled innocently.

"Dig in, guys!" the billionaire declared, grabbing a pie and stuffing his face. Thor grinned and reached for a random pie before freezing in horror.

What was the subject of Thor's awed terror, you ask? It's quite simple, really. It was a lemon tart pie. With fruit on the top. A lot of fruit. Raspberries, blackberries, kiwis, blueberries, and many more. To Thor, it was practically a torture device.

"AAAAAAAAAAAH!" he screamed, raising his hammer only to be stopped by the others, grabbed his arm before the blow could fall.

"No. Smashing. The. Pies." Tony said firmly.

Thor pouted, but backed away from the fruit tart in consent. He shot it distrusting looks as he started eating another pie.

Looking back on it, no one present could remember exactly who started it. But somewhere in the consumption of the pies, one of them landed on Natasha's head. She retaliated by thrusting the nearest pie into Tony's goatee, who flipped the pie that Steve was eating out of his hands and into his hair.

And thus, a full blown pie fight broke out.

Thor smashed a blueberry pie into Loki's face, then exclaimed, "You look just like you do in your Frost Giant form!"

Loki glared. A moment later, Thor's face became the colors of a traditional archery target; his nose was yellow, part of his cheeks red, the rest of his cheeks blue, and his face framed by black. Clint let out a cry of glee and smashed the fruit tart into Thor's face.

Thor's eyes widened in terror as the fruits slid down his face before he fainted.

Silence.

"...That happens sometimes?" Clint guessed.

"Congratulations," Loki said appreciatively. "you have joined the list of mortals that have taken down the mighty Thor. It consists only of yourself and Darcy."

* * *

***go to Hel**

**All requests are welcome. I'll try not to turn you down.**

**If you've gotten this far, you must like it enough to review. XD**


	59. Thor vs the spoonful of cinnamon

**So sorry for not updating on Thursday! D: I had star testing, and then I went to language arts class, and then I waited around in the car for at least 20 minutes and was really tired by the time I got home and completely forgot. So yah, sorry. I'm posting today as well as tomorrow instead of doing a double post.**

**This chappie was requested by sapphire-eyedcat (guest). Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Write write write the disclaimer, every single chapter! Merrily merrily merrily merrily, if life were a dream I'd own this stuff.**

* * *

Tony made a face as he nibbled one of the leftover pies from National Pie Day. It had far too much spice in it. Seriously? How could whoever made it **not** realize the vast amount of seasoning?!

But then, all the best ideas come from the strangest of places. Tony felt a smirk crawling across his face as he went to go find Thor.

* * *

Thor was in the training room with the rest of the Avengers, minus Tony. Said billionaire strutted into the room just at that moment, carefully holding a spoon with a heaping dose of red powder. "Thor!" he announced. "I have a proposal for you!"

"Yes? What is is?" Thor asked, joining the man.

"I," Tony said, gesturing to the spoon dramatically, "have found a way for your to prove your great warriorness!"

"What do I need to prove?" Thor asked, perplexed.

"That you're better than us," Tony said matter-of-factly. "All you have to do is eat this!"

Thor looked doubtfully at the red powder. "This will prove my... warriorness?" he repeated.

"Yup!" Tony said, handing the spoon to Thor.

"It cannot hurt," Thor muttered before swallowing the whole spoonful of cinnamon.

The god's eyes bulged suddenly, and he coughed violently, blowing huge clouds of red. "WHAT IS THIS?!" he screeched in horror, voice scratchy. "THIS RED DUST OF DEATH! IT HAS NEARLY KILLED ME!"

The other Avengers were rolling around on the floor in laughter as Thor rushed out of the room to rinse out his mouth. He came back a moment later, head completely soaked. It appeared that he had dunked. He glowered at them.

"Ah'm sorry, Thor," Tony slurred between chuckles, clapping a hand on his back, "but that happens sometimes. And, unfortunately, you failed the test."

Thor sent him a Look before storming out. The rest of the Avengers dissolved into giggles again.

* * *

**There it is. *takes a bow* Tell me what you thought?**

**If you put your request in now, it'll only take me a few months to get around to doing it! :P**

***aims a virtual pie at you* Review. Or else.**


	60. Thor vs the lychee

**I didn't forget! XD I'm so proud of myself. 677 reviews... oh gods... I love you guys so much. OH MY GODS I LOVE YOU ALL SO FREAKING MUCH :D :D :D! I truly cannot express my great joy well enough. ^.^**

**So, this chappie of awesomeness was requested by: littlenaoki + TinaFrostDahMuffinburger. I hope you like it! :D**

**Disclaimer: Since no angry Marvel people have sued me yet, I must not own the Avengers.**

* * *

Since Thor had already been, ah, _acquainted_ with raspberries already, Natasha had let herself buy some lychees, as they resembled raspberries. Sort of. Well, enough that Thor would hopefully not notice.

Natasha scooped up a container and paid for it quickly before walking briskly back to the tower. If she got there soon enough, she could get there before Thor came in for his breakfast of pop tarts.

She was two thirds of the way there when she realized if she walked slow enough, she could get there after Thor left. Natasha sighed and started shuffling as slowly as she could manage. She inched into the elevator and punched in the kitchen level. She thought briefly about asking Jarvis to stall the ride for a while, but decided against it as the doors sprung open. Why did Stark Tech have to be so fast?

Thor looked up from his pop tarts as she entered and said happily, "Good morning, Lady Natasha!"

Natasha nodded in reply as she tried to inconspicuously put the lychees in the refrigerator. No such luck.

"What is that, Lady Natasha?" Thor asked curiously, pointing to the container.

The woman sighed. "Lychees," she deadpanned, trying to make them sound as uninteresting as possible. Unfortunately, Clint entered at that moment, in time to catch the single spoken word.

"Lychees?" he asked hopefully. "Oooh! You'll share with me, right?"

Natasha sighed exasperatedly as Clinted deployed his puppy dog eyes. "Fine," she muttered, pouring the little red balls into a bowl and setting it between them.

Thor looked into the bowl and blanched. "The rasp-berries have returned!" he wailed mournfully.

Loki popped into the kitchen with a scowl on his face. "_raz_-berries, Thor. We already went over this!"* he yelled before leaving.

"Oh," Thor muttered. He watched as Natasha drew a knife from a thigh sheath and started carefully cutting the red skin of a lychee, revealing the white flesh, then cutting that with quick, precise slices and removing the pit. Clint, on the other hand, squeezed the white fruit out of it's red skin and into his mouth, chewing for a moment before spitting the seed into the garbage. Thor watched them for a while before asking, "Can I try?"

Both the spies looked at him, then back at each other. Natasha raised an eyebrow, asking if they should let him. Clint shrugged, and Natasha nodded at Thor. He smiled and went over next to them, picking one of the things up and attempting to squeeze the white fruit out like he had seen Clint do, but only succeeded in smashing the lychee between his fingers.

Clint tried to smother his laughter while Natasha groaned silently. She was having second thoughts about letting the god participate.

She was sure of it by the time Thor had smashed over half of their lychees.

Natasha sighed before commanding, "Thor, go give Loki a hug."

Thor immediately sprung from the table and ran to find his brother while Clint shook his head in amusement.

Loki didn't talk to Natasha for a week, and she found all her fluffy socks were missing, but it was worth it to have gotten Thor away. Even if he had almost killed the younger god just from his hug.

* * *

***See chapter 37: Thor vs. the raspberries**

**I am so proud of myself! I'm about halfway through my third page of requests out of six pages. XD**

**Reviewers will get a virtual paper star. I've been making a lot of paper stars lately. I cut a piece of paper up entirely into half inch strips and have the pile sitting by my computer so I can make papers stars whenever I feel like it. :D**


	61. Thor vs the cherries

**So, anyone here seen the Hobbit movie? Yes? No? Well, you know that scene near the end where Thorin has that whole slow-motion charge with the battle cry and all, and then he gets taken down in a couple swings? And all that rising drama just crashes? I felt like my ending was a bit like that, but I'll let you decide.**

**So, this chappie was requested by Ophelia Lokisdottir, The Mocha Monster, TinaDahFrostMuffinburger, Guest (guest), and I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain. I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. This. Stuff. Clear?**

* * *

The days were starting to heat up, so no one was surprised when Tony proposed a picnic on top of the tower. The cooler solely dedicated to fruit was also a foreseen event, Steve reflected as he rummaged through said cooler. Everyone knew there was precious little fruit that didn't get smashed. That being said, Thor had been banned from the single cooler of fruit.

With all that, it shouldn't have surprised the other Avengers when Tony brought Sotiri along.

Sotiri beeped cutely as Natasha's coffee finished, and the spy reached over for it, patting the little bot absently as she sipped. Everyone was eating, except for Steve, who had already finished, and was now looking through the fruit cooler for something else.

Finally, Steve removes his head from the cooler with a bowl of cherries and sits down crossed legged, eating the fruit contentedly. He casually spit a cherry pit into the waste bin on the other side of the roof (where did that come from?), catching the attention of Clint.

"Oi!" the archer cried, pointing a fry at Steve as if it was a sword. "I challenge you to a duel of cherry pit spitting!"

Steve groaned. "It's not a contest," he muttered, but Clint ignored him and plucked a cherry from the bowl and chewing it for a moment, before spitting the pit over the side of the roof, where it landed in a garbage can down below on the streets.

"Beat that!" he said proudly.

"I'm not even going to try," Steve groaned.

Thor leaned over. "What is this game?" he asked.

"You wanna learn?" Clint said excitedly. "You just eat one of these," he gestured to the cherries, "and then spit out the hard part into that bucket over there." Clint motioned to the waste bin.

"I see," Thor said, reaching over and popping a cherry into his mouth. Face screwed up with concentration, he spat out the pit, which hit Sotiri.

Sotiri let out an indignant squeak and shot a spurt of coffee into the god's eyes.

"OUCH!" Thor yelled, clapping a hand over his eye.

"Excellent Odin impression," Loki noted from his spot eating some scrambled eggs that Sotiri had cooked.

Thor, however, didn't seem to hear him. He just pouted and refused to spit anymore seed pits that day.

* * *

**Yah. Let me know if I was getting you ready for a lot of action and let it drop.**

**Please know that the request box is always open unless I one day get overwhelmed and don't accept any more. But that day has not yet come.**

**...I'm waiting for that review.**


	62. Thor vs the poison ivy

**Hei! Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed! I really cannot thank you all enough! I mean, almost 800 reviews?! I am just so mega ultra super duper really happy! *-* I am in exstaticeness! I love you all so much! ^-^ ( _ )**

**So, this chappie of awesomeness was requested by MadManWithABox and Ghost Rider of the Aragon. I hope you like it! :D**

**Disclaimer: I am so fortunate to have such awesome readers and reviewers, I really don't feel the need to claim the characters that I'm playing with. ^-^**

* * *

Really, Thor brought it on himself that time. No, really. He did. Surprisingly, he didn't even need encouraging from anyone (Tony or Clint or both). Probably because Thor is very good at making rash decisions.

He decided to go exploring.

As if that wasn't begging for enough trouble, he decided to fly around until he found some trees and land in the middle of unknown territory because he "felt like doing it."

And as if **that** wasn't bad enough, he dragged Loki along with him. After being asked later why he didn't teleport away, he replied, "Well, I couldn't very well let the stupid oaf die. Only I'm allowed to kill him."

And so that is why Thor was trekking through some random forest in some random location dragging a reluctant Loki behind him.

"I suggest that we find the path," Loki deadpanned after half an hour or so of being dragged in circles.

"I tell you, Loki, we are going the right way! I do not require a path!" Thor said as he pushed away some vines blocking his way. Loki, however, looked carefully at the vines for a moment, eyes narrowed, before smirking and following his fool of a brother, delicately picking his way without touching the ivy.

Thor, noticing this, snorted. "Afraid of a little dirt, little brother?" he teased, smirking.

Loki gave a calm smile back. "Hardly," he scoffed, "but I do not envy you for what follows."

Thor dismissed Loki's words and turned back to being lost.

* * *

_Approximately three hours later..._

"This is hopeless!" Thor wailed angrily. They had gotten nowhere, and listening to Loki spout pacts about poisonous plants was very annoying. "This adventure has failed."

Loki smiled brightly. "So, you finally noticed that? Good for you!" he said cheerily.

Thor just made an unidentifiable noise in the back of his throat and twirled his hammer. He reached for Loki's arm to take him with him, but Loki held up a hand.

"I'm taking the easy way back," he said before teleporting away.

Thor growled.

* * *

_The next day..._

Thor woke up to find himself covered in angry red blisters. Thor moaned his annoyance. "LOKI!" he yelled, "What did I do to make you hate me THIS time?!"

Loki appeared with a pop and surveyed Thor with a smirk. "This is not of my doing," he replied easily. "It is not my fault you did not pay attention to my speech about poisonous plants yesterday."

"What are you..." Thor started before his eyes grew wide. "I AM POISONED?!"

"No," Loki said, fighting to keep a straight face. "You received a rash from toxicodendron radicans." Seeing Thor's confused face, he elaborated, " Toxicodendron radicans, commonly known as poison ivy is a poisonous North American plant that is well known for its production of urushiol, a clear liquid compound found within the sap of the plant that causes an itching, irritation and sometimes painful rash in most people who touch it. The plant is not a true ivy."

By now, Thor was horrified and very, very confused. Loki shrugged.

"It happens sometimes." the younger god said with a smirk.

* * *

**Oh, Thor... XD He really did bring that one down upon himself.**

**PLEASE READ THIS EVEN IF YOU DON'T USUALLY READ THE AUTHOR NOTES! I was supposed to do papaya(s) for this chapter, but I couldn't think of anything to do with it, so I skipped it (sorry !), and I would very much like it if you send any ideas you have for it to me in a review or PM. Please!**

**I know that you're all so awesome that I don't even have to ask you to review. XD**


	63. Thor vs the papaya

**My gods, guys. You awesome people boosted my reviews way up. I checked once, and I was only _five reviews away from my sister!_ Oh my gods, You peeps area AWESOME! I never thought I actually stood a chance in our little race... :'D Thank you all so so so so so much!**

**Anyway, this chappie with which I asked for help was requested by MadManWithABox, MissPadawan, and sweetfoxgirl13. I hope you like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: I disclaim any claims that I made, but I made no claims, so technically I'm not disclaiming anything since I never claimed anything in the fist place!**

* * *

Everyone knows that curiosity killed the cat.

It also got the thunder god into a whole lot of trouble several times.

This time, it all started like this:

"Friend Clint," Thor said, approaching the archer. "Why does friend Tony call you 'Legolas'?"

Clint gaped at him, opening and closing his mouth several times before he sprinted away. Thor frowned, wondering if he had said something wrong, when Clint's voice suddenly blared through the tower via speakers.

"Guys! Avengers assemble! Yes, Cap, it **is** urgent. **Thor doesn't know about **_**The Lord of the Rings**_**!** He must be educated! Movie night time!"

"Who is this ring lord?" Thor wondered aloud.

"You'll see, Thor. See, people? This is why he needs to know! ...What? No! If you want an essay on why Thor should watch _The Lord of the Rings_, you'll have to write it yourself, Loki! ...Hah, see? Someone agrees with me! Thank you, Tony! ...Aw, c'mon Tasha, there'll be popcorn! ...No, Thor you're going the wrong way! Ugh, Loki, could you just find you're brother and get him to the kitchen, please?"

Of course, by now Thor was really confused. Luckily for him, Loki popped up and grabbed his arm before teleporting them both to the kitchen, where Tony was ruffling through a cupboard. Clint bounded in just then with a smile, pulling along a somewhat unwilling Natasha. "Brucey and Stevey are on their way!" he announced.

"Hey!" Tony protested, turning to look at the other man and crossing his arms, pouting. "Only I get to call Bruce 'Brucey'!"

"It's just a nickname, Tony, let it go," Bruce said as he and Steve entered.

Tony stared at him. "But we're **science bros!**" he said desperately.

Bruce rolled his eyes. "I never said we weren't."

Clint, who had continued searching the cupboard that Tony had abandoned, suddenly gasped. "There's no popcorn!" he wailed.

"WHAT?!" Thor asked, finally speaking up. "There is none of the popped corn left?!"

Natasha glared at Clint. "You lured me up here under false pretenses?" she hissed dangerously.

"**Hold it!**" Clint yelled, holding up his hands defensively. "I hear that you can use papaya seeds as a popcorn alternative!"

Everyone stared at him. "Really?" Tony asked as last. "Why didn't I know about this?!"

Clint shrugged. "I don't actually know if it works, but it's worth a try, right?"

"Right!" Tony exclaimed, striding to the counter and somehow producing a papaya and slicing it open to remove the seeds.

"Oh!" Steve said suddenly, rushing over to a cabinet and pulling out an old style popcorn popping pot (...I have no idea where that came from. Things just appear.) and setting it on the stove triumphantly. Tony lifted an eyebrow.

"Um... Cap? You do know that hardly anybody uses those things anymore, don't you?" he asked blandly.

"Too bad," Steve snapped, glaring at the billionaire as he scooped up the seeds and dropped them into the pot before taking over the handle and turning it.

Thor fidgeted uncomfortably. "Now what?" he asked.

"Now we wait," Steve said tersely.

* * *

_An unbelievably long amount of time later..._

"Is it the popped corn done yet?" Thor whined for the millionth time. By now, Natasha had decided to take a cat nap on the table, Loki was reading, Clint was sitting on top of the fridge, Bruce and Tony were in a corner talking science stuff, and Steve was still turning the handle of the popping pot.

"Why don't you check to see if it's done, then?" Steve snapped at Thor, stepping away from the pot. Thor came over and lifted the lid. All of the papaya seeds were the same.

"See, friend Steve?" Thor said, gesturing. "This will not work!"

Just then, a seed popped and jumped up, hitting Thor in the face. He turned in astonishment to the pot as the rest of the seeds popped just as suddenly, all of them jumping out of the pot and hitting Thor on the face.

"WHAT ON ASGARD—" Thor began, before he was completely pushed over by a wave of papaya popcorn. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! HELP MEEEEEE! I'M DROWNING!" he wailed while the others watched, flabbergasted.

"Considering the heat-over-time ratio," Bruce said carefully, "that happens sometimes."

* * *

**...So, I personally don't know if papaya seeds can be a alternative for pop corn, but I was told that they did, so... Yah. XD**

**The request box is open! Submit your request in a review or PM today!**

**Jingle bells, durians smell, Loki's on his way! I really need a review from you so place your review today, hey!**


	64. Thor vs the bunny

**Hello again! Here I am! Thanks to everyone who reviewed/favorited/followed. I love you guys! *-***

**This request was requested by the requester** **MadManWithABox. I hope you like it! :D**

**Disclaimer: I had this day dream that I owned the Avengers, and I was super happy, and then Odin came in and was like,**** "You are unworthy of this ownership!"** And then the paper work flew into his hand. And then he was like, "In the name of Joss Whedon and Marvel, I** now take form you, your rights to the Avengers! And I banish you to the simple life of writing fanfics!" And then I flew through a purple portal and snapped out of the day dream and was sad. And that is why I don't own the Avengers.**

* * *

Why nobody figured out Steve's affinity for small furry creatures is beyond this author, who really thinks that the Avengers should have noticed it long before hand. But alas, no one wants to listen to the rambling of this author as she speculates why nobody discovered the super soldier's obsession with furry animals and—

"Get on with the f***ing story already!" Tony yelled.

Sheesh, the author thinks. She's just trying to ease into the chapter and not get into everything all at once. This author is beginning to think that the Avengers don't like to be in her story—

"That's because we **don't**," Natasha adds dryly.

The author pouts. So little gratitude. Maybe she should just stop this story—

"Don't do that!" Loki yells. "I like watching Thor suffer!"

"Brother! That is not nice!" Thor wails.

Thank you, Loki. That makes me very happy to know that you enjoy participating in my awesomeness. As I was saying—

"GET ON WITH IT!" all the Avengers scream.

The Avengers arguing with the author. It happens sometimes.

* * *

Once upon a random day, Steve and Thor were walking around New York, trying to catch up on Midgardian... stuff. It was going smoothly so far. Thor hadn't smashed anything yet, so Steve was definitely happy. He was even happier when he saw a small pet shop. Grinning like a kid, he grabbed Thor's arm and tugged him into the store.

"Friend Steve? What...?" Thor trailed off as he looked around the shop. Steve dropped the god's arm and made a beeline to the nearest fluffy creature, which was a small rabbit in an open enclosure for people to pet. Steve dropped down and let the bunny sniff his fingers.

"Um... friend Steve? What is that?" Thor asked, looking warily at the bunny as if it might attack him.

Steve looked at him with wide eyes. "You... you **don't know what a bunny is?!**" he cried, astonished.

Thor shook his head, and Steve gasped. "Not acceptable!" he declared, grabbing Thor's hand and bringing it down for the bunny to smell. Apparently, the bunny decided that it didn't like Thor. It bit him.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Thor screamed, jerking his hand back. "I AM IN PAIN! THAT **THING** ATTACKED ME! IT MUST PAY DEARLY FOR IT'S CRIMES!"

"What—you mean you would seriously kill a **bunny?!**" Steve yelled, horrified. "Now it's **you **who's going to pay!"

Thor's eyes widened. "Wait, friend Steve! I did not mean to bring offense to you—"

Steve stood up, even more angry, if that was possible. "You should be apologizing to the bunny!" he yelled. "You threatened to kill it!"

Thor gulped and looked back at the fuzz ball, who he could swear was smirking at him. "I apologize, fur ball of death and horror." he said.

At this point, the shop keeper finally took notice of them and kicked them out of the store. It took Steve a long while to forgive Thor for threatening the bunny. And the Avengers learned a lesson that day:

Steve Rogers is the protector of small furry creatures.

* * *

**...That was random. I feel random. *falls on her face from all the randomness***

**And then Odin came back! And he was like, "To whosoever read this fanfic, if he or she be worthy, shall possess the power to leave a request or review!"**


	65. Thor vs the poblano chiles

**We got an orange peeler! And I used it! And got juice all over myself in the process. And then ate it like an apple over the sink. And then yelled at Heimdall to stop laughing and that it wasn't funny only to drop a piece of orange on the floor. I think the gods hate me. Okay, so that ends the random newsflash.**

**Anyhow, this chappie of awesomeness was requested by Princesa Blanca and kimbee. I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Pst... I have a secret... and you can't tell anyone... I don't own the Avengers. *gasps of surprise ensue***

* * *

Tony liked jokes. They defused tension, for one thing, along with just being generally funny. Or they could be weird way of showing that he cared.

So when Pepper found a small bundle of peppers with a note from said billionaire, she simply rolled her eyes and smiled. After she dressed she took them up to the kitchen and took down a cookbook to find a recipe. She was flipping through the pages when Bruce entered.

"Poblano Chiles, huh?" he asked, picking up the chiles and looking at them fondly.

"Yeah," Pepper said, looking up from her book, "but I don't know how to cook them."

Bruce smiled. "I can cook them, if you want."

"Yes please, Bruce!" Pepper said, relieved. "I've heard that the smoke is hel on the eyes."

"I'm used to it," Bruce assured her as he took a pan out of a cupboard and set in on the grill. He hummed happily as he started cooking the chiles. Eventually, the strange and unfamiliar smell lured Thor up.

"Friend Bruce!" he boomed, making his presence known. "What is that you are cooking?"

Bruce yelped, startled, pulling the pan up in front of him in a defensive stance. The chiles were flung off and onto the direct flame of the stove. Bruce cursed, quickly put down the pan to examine the doomed chiles. "I probably won't be able to get those out," he sighed.

"I apologize for startling you, friend Bruce!" Thor said sheepishly. "Here, allow me!"

He stepped forward to remove the chiles from their dangerous state, but by now the chiles had started smoking, and the unsuspecting god got hit full on with it and chocked. "WHAT DEVILRY IS THIS?!" he asked as his eyes started to water. "OH, MY EYES ARE IN AGONY! THE LITTLE RED... THINGS... OF HORROR ARE RELEASING POISONOUS FUMES!"

Bruce, being the smart person that he was, had pulled the neckline of his shirt over his mouth and nose, avoiding the situation that the thunderer was now in. "Sorry," he apologized, voice slightly muffled by the fabric. "That happens sometimes."

Thor, however, wasn't listening, and fled the kitchen for some fresh air. He somehow managed to make it up to the roof half blind before he stumbled over the edge.

Even if Thor hadn't summoned Mjonlir, Bruce reflected, the god would have been fine. He is, after all, a **god**.

* * *

**There ya go! That's 65 five chappies! TAKE THAT, SIS! MWAHAHAHA! I HAVE SO MANY MORE CHAPTER THAN YOU! }:P I'm so evil. You know I don't mean that meanly... *hugs I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain***

**So, the review !TEAPOT! box is always open for your !FLUFFY! usage. Send your request via !FLAMINGO! review or PM.**

***give you the Loki stare* Review. You know it'll weigh on your conscious if you don't.**


	66. Thor vs the curry powder & prunes

**Hey there! So, I missed my Sunday update, but that's only because I had a camp out that I was rather unaware of until the morning of Mother's Day. So, yah. To make up for it, I have combined the next two requests into one chapter. My sister and beta, I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain, believes that it makes up for the missed update.**

**Oh, and the requesters were I'mAFirestarter and The Mocha Monster. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Alas, the glorious company of Marvel has not yet given me the divine rights of the Avengers. Yet. Mwhahaha... }:)**

* * *

No one could quite recall when the jar of prunes appeared over the stove. One day it was just there. Bruce thought that it was Tony, who thought that it was Clint, who thought that it was Natasha, who thought that Thor had put it there for some reason, while Thor swore that he saw the Captain with the jar, and the same Cap thought that Bruce had left it there and forgotten about it.

Actually, Loki put it there once when he was bored to see if anyone would notice, but none of the Avengers knew that. And who put it there is quite beside the point. Anyways...

* * *

Bruce walked into the kitchen one morning with a very happy expression on his face. Thor watched, curious at what could put Bruce in such a good mood, as the doctor pulled a pot out of a cupboard and put in the ingredients for what appeared to be a stew.

Thor cocked his head. "What is it that you are doing, friend Bruce?"

Bruce raised his head briefly before looking back at the pot as he replied, "I'm making soup." He pulled a jar of curry powder out of a cabinet and sifted some into the soup. Thor, intrigued that such a simple thing as making soup could make someone so happy, came closer to peer over Bruce's shoulder.

Surprisingly, Bruce was in too good a mood to care about the close proximity. He continued to hum as he began to put the lid back on the powder. However, Thor chose that moment to suck in a deep breath, causing a puff of curry to get sucked into his lungs.

The god's eyes widened and he coughed hard, arms flailing for something that he could hold on to. Unfortunately, one of his hands knocked into the jar of prunes to open as they fell into the soup.

"No!" Bruce exclaimed, expression one of horror. "My soup!"

"My apologizes, friends Bruce," Thor coughed.

Bruce glared at him. He sighed and fished the curry soup soaked prunes out of the soup and dumped them into a bowl which he then forced into the god's hands.

"What...?" Thor asked, examining the prunes with a wrinkled nose.

"It's your fault that they fell into my soup," Bruce said, voice clipped, "so you have to eat your creation."

Thor gulped, but picked up one of the prunes and stuffed it in his mouth before he could have seconds thoughts. A disgusted face made its way onto his face as he chewed and swallowed with great difficulty.

He only managed to get though five of the prunes before his face started to turn green and he fled from the room. Moments later, retching could be heard.

Somewhere on the streets, a poor tourist looking at Stark Tower was suddenly covered in divine vomit.

But hey, that happens sometimes.

* * *

**Heh, don't worry, the little things before the chapter won't be a regular thing. That's just me trying to figure out how to start the chapter.**

***looks at her requests and realizes that anyone that were to request now would probably have their request completed by December or January* Yeah... very long waiting line... so if you've got a request, request it NOW. Otherwise, I'll probably get around to it sometime in the March of 2014.**

**Anyone who doesn't want divine vomit falling on their head should review. XD**


	67. Thor vs sugar

**Ugh, sorry I'm late. I really don't have an excuse... but I posted! So yay! XD**

**Since you've all already waited long enough, I'll jump to it. This chappie was requested by** **vamp of alium sativum, and I hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own. Simple as that.**

* * *

Tony grumbled as he went about the kitchen looking for the cereal. He couldn't remember where it was stored (ironic, isn't it? He's a frigging genius.) and was having trouble finding it for some reason.

Huffing in annoyance, he yanked yet another cupboard open, causing a huge bag to fall on his head.

"Augh!" Tony yelled, rubbing his neck and glaring at the bag until her realized what it was. His face lit up and he scooped the bag up and dumped its contents on the kitchen table.

By now, Tony was grinning like a small child on Halloween, probably because he had accidentally discovered the left over candy from last Halloween. Beaming, the billionaire grabbed a piece of candy at random and bit into it. Candy was almost as good as coffee.

It was probably around Tony's seventeenth piece of candy that he was joined by Thor in the kitchen.

"Friend Tony, what is it that you are consuming?" Thor asked as a greeting, coming over to examine the small, colorful things that the man was eating.

"Can'y!" Tony exclaimed through a mouthful of M&Ms. "'Ou wan' some?" he offered, holding out a Milky Way bar to the god.

Thor took the bar with a smile. "I believe I will join you in the consumption of these strange treats, friend Tony."

* * *

_About 139 pieces of candy later..._

Thor giggled like a school child as he ran around the kitchen, waving the Snickers bar in the air. "Hahaha, andthenItookoutMjonlirandsmashedtheFrostGiantinthe face! Andheflewahundredmetersandsmashedintoapieceofice!" 

"Dude," Tony chuckled giddily, "I can't understand a word you're saying!"

"Whatapity, friendTony, mytaleissimplywonderfulandyoucannotenjoyit!"

Tony was about to answer when Steve entered the kitchen. "Has anyone seen my..."

Steve's eyes went wide as the sugar crazed god raced over to him and threw a handful of Skittles into his face. "TASTE THE FRAGMENTS OF THE BI-FROST, FRIEND STEVE!" Thor screamed gleefully.

By now, Steve had the O.O face on.

"I MUST FIND MY BROTHER AND SO WE CAN ENJOY THE BI-FROST BITS TOHETHER!" Thor announced, running from the room. A small while later, an ear splitting scream of anger split the air.

"_**Thor!**_" Loki's screech rang out. "_**Let go of me right now! Stop killing me! Aaaarrgh! Cease this infernal hugging!**_"

* * *

**Well, there it is. Never give Thor sugar. I hope it was good! :)**

**So, my sister did the math, and it turns out that I was pretty accurate when I said that anyone reviewing now would have their request fulfilled sometime in December, so bear that in mind!**

**Mmm... is that a review I smell? :9**


	68. Thor vs the popcorn & passion fruit

**Gah! Sorry! So, so sorry! I did not post on Sunday! I was too tired after my ballet performance. So, sorry. But I have done a double request post to make up for it, with some fluff at the end. I'm pretty confident that it'll make up for missing Sunday.**

**And the request are from vamp of alium sativum, TinaWhacksFrostWithMuffin (used to be** **TinaFrostDahMuffinburger), and MissPadawan. I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I lay claim only to the fluff. I came up with that. And the idea... and the nonexistant plot... but not the characters. Those belong to Marvel.**

* * *

Thor was in the kitchen puzzling over how the microwave worked. In one hand he had a bag of unpopped popcorn, while the other hovered over the buttons cautiously.

"How does this mortal object work?" he wondered aloud, afraid to touch anything lest it blow up—literally—one him.

Luckily for him, Tony entered just then and, seeing the god's dilemma, he took the bag off of him and stuck it in the microwave and punched in the correct controls. "Just wait for it to finish, and **don't open the door**," he said sternly. Thor gave him a sheepish smile.

Just then, the lights to several homes in New York went out as there was a loud thud from outside and a voice cursed, "CONFOUND THESE INFERNAL MORTAL STRINGS!"

Thor's head shot up. He most definitely knew that voice. He rushed off the nearest balcony and used Mjonlir to land semi gently next to Odin Allfather, who was just disentangling himself from the power lines he had ended up in.

"Father!" he greeted, hugging the older deity happily. "You've come to visit me and Loki! Come inside!"

Before Odin could protest, Thor had grabbed his hand and hauled him into the elevator to the kitchen. The doors dinged open, and they entered to room to find the other Avengers and Loki already there.

"Friends!" Thor boomed happily, "My father has come to visit us!"

"Not exactly, Thor," Odin corrected, his one eye on Loki. "I have come to take Loki back to Asgard."

Tony did a spit take with his coffee. "What?! But he hasn't killed anyone!" he protested.

"I sent him to Midgard so that he would be punished," Odin said coldly. "Instead, he has been pampered and left to roam freely. He must come back to Asgard's dungeons."

All of the Avengers rose, arguing. They had all grown rather fond of Loki, and they would be damned before the let Odin take him back to Asgard. Thor's voice, however, was the loudest. "NO, FATHER!"

"He has poisoned all of your minds!" Odin hissed, taking a step towards said trickster, who was standing back with one eyebrow raised. "You are all being controlled! He must be removed."

"**YOU WILL NOT TAKE MY BROTHER FROM ME!**"

Suddenly, Odin Allfather found himself accosted by the full fury of the god of thunder. Thor, however, was beyond fury. So therefore, instead of using Mjonlir, he chose something much more dangerous.

He attacked Odin with the closest thing to his right hand, which happened to be a passion fruit. Said fruit was very soon lobbed into Odin's angry face.

"Thor—gak!" Odin spluttered, wiping the fruit out of his eyes. Only to have another passion fruit shoved up his nose.

"YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO TAKE MY BROTHER!" Thor roared, grabbing at any and all fruit in the kitchen, making temporary alliances with them. "YOU SHALL SUFFER MY WRATH!"

The Avengers, now assured that Loki would not be taken away, had started eating the popcorn that had been put in the microwave earlier. Unfortunately, that too was within reach of the demigod, and he took it off their persons and thrust it into Odin's hair.

"Hey," Tony protested weakly. Though he found he didn't really mind, not when it had ended up sticking to the fruit on Odin's face, making him look truly ridiculous.

Finally, Odin had had enough. "Fine!" he spat, disengaging from Thor. "Keep the demon scum! It is too late to save your souls, anyway!" And with that, the bi-frost somehow got into the tower and took Odin back to Asgard.

Silence.

"Group hug!" Tony announced suddenly, latching on to Loki. He was soon followed by the others, until they had all turned into one huge dog pile.

Loki, although he didn't show it, was touched that the Avengers and his brother loved him enough to protect him from Odin. And as he ended up at the bottom of the puppy pile, he found that, for once, he didn't care.

* * *

**Well, there it is! :) Fluffy enough for you? :D**

**Requests are always welcome! As long as you have enough patience... :3**

**Can I have a wittle weview? I just want a wittle weview...**


	69. Thor vs the ocean

**Oh. My. Gods. You guys got me past my sister in reviews. Just... I am in shock... EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! OHMYGODSILOVEYOUGUYSTHANKYOUALLSOFREAKINGMUCH!**

**Ahem. Now that I have vented my love for all of you, this chappie was requested by TinaWhacksFrostWithMuffin (previously TinaFrostDahMuffinburger). I hope you like it!  
**

**Disclaimer: I make no money off of this. I only get reviews and happiness. I'm not trying to claim anything.**

* * *

"...Therefore, if we recalibrate... Tony?"

"...zzz..."

"Oh, c'mon, you didn't **really **just fall asleep, did you?" Bruce asked in exasperation as he glanced at the sleeping genius. "Jarvis, when was the last time he slept?"

Tony woke up with a jerk. "Don't answer that, Jarvis!"

"I am sorry, Dr. Banner, but I am not authorized to give you that information," Jarvis said with a slight sarcastic edge. "And Mr. Stark has most definitely **not** been awake for 72 hours. Most **definitely** not."

"Tony!" Bruce scolded, turning to the other man with a look of worry/exasperation/annoyance.

"Jarvis!" Tony yelled, glaring at the ceiling. "Traitor!"

"For your body to sustain a healthy state," Bruce started rattling off, "you need an average of eight hours of sleep every night, or else your body will become malnourished. Symptoms include... Tony?"

"...zzz..."

Bruce facepalmed.

"The beach!" Tony announced suddenly, jerking back awake with a silly grin on his face. "We should go to the beach today!"

Bruce facepalmed (yet again).

"Fine!" he yelled, pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "I give up! Sure, let's go to the beach."

Tony beamed at him. "I knew there was a reason I love you!" he yelled as he sprang up to assemble the rest of the Avengers. Bruce just sighed fondly.

* * *

Thor stared distrustfully at the water as he stuck a single toe into the surf. Almost immediately, a wave washed up and went up to the god's knees. He yelped and jumped back out of the water while Tony laughed.

"C'mon, Point Break, just get in the water!" he chuckled. Thor scowled.

"I see no fun in this—" he started to say, but Loki made a small movement of his hands, and Thor fell backwards into the water just as a wave rolled up and crashed on top of the god, effectively getting sea water up his nose.

"AAAAAH—" Thor started to yell, but only succeeded in getting the water in his mouth. He gagged and coughed, sitting up on the wet sand as the water retreated again. "By the beard of Odin, what is wrong with the water?!" he asked, horrified.

Clint blinked. "What, oceans on Asgard don't have salt?"

Loki smirked. "I believe the problem is that Thor has never been to a beach before this day. As such, he is unacquainted with such things mortals take for granted."

"I swear to you, Loki, the water is poisoned!" Thor yelled as he dashed out of the water's reach. "Let us leave this vile place! My nose stings!"

Loki patted him on the shoulder. "That happens sometimes, my dear Thor, that happens sometimes."

* * *

**Heh. I tried to write science talk. You can tell me whether or not it sounded authentic. :)**

**Feel free to send in a request via review, PM, or virtual flamingo.*****hands you a virtual flamingo for delivering requests***

******Reviews can also be sent via review box or virtual flamingo.**


	70. Thor vs the saurkraut

**Oh gods, I love you all! Hugs all around! *gives everyone hugs* You people are awesome! 'Kay, I'll let you get on to the chappie now and keep this part short.**

**This chappie of awesomeness was requested by I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain, and Ghost Rider of the Aragon. I hope you like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: I've said this around 70 times, and I'll say it again. I DON'T OWN THIS STUFF!**

* * *

Loki stretched as he walked into the kitchen, sighing as he heard his spine pop. Reorienting himself, he frowned. There seemed to be a strange presence in the kitchen, which—besides himself—was empty. Curious, he let his senses take over and headed to the brown paper grocery bag on the counter. After some ruffling, he found the object that was probing his senses. He stared down at the jar in his hand.

This substance had great potential, he could tell, but it couldn't show it to the world. Loki closed his eyes, and a green glow surrounded the jar before fading away, and he grinned a feral smirk.

"We'll be great allies, you and I," he told the no longer inanimate object.

* * *

Thor woke up to a bad feeling. He knew immediately that it was his "warrior senses," as he called them, raising the alarm. He dressed, tense and on edge, choosing to don some of his chest armor. The feeling stayed.

Greatly disturbed, Thor found himself wandering to Steve's room. Stopping outside, he knocked hesitantly on the door. Moments later, Steve opened the door.

"Thor?" he asked, rubbing his eyes. "What is it?"

"I do not know..." Thor said slowly. "Are your warrior senses not ringing as mine are?"

Steve frowned, bemused. "...'Warrior senses'?"

"Yes," Thor waved an impatient hand, "when one has a feeling he cannot explain, but feels the danger of himself or his friends. Do you not feel it?"

"...No, I don't," Steve said slowly. "Maybe you could ask someone else?"

Thor left, feeling a little discouraged. The feeling stuck with him, though, no matter how much he tried to shake it. Eventually deciding to settle his nerves with foodstuffs, he made his way up to the kitchen.

If anything, the gut feeling only intensified. Thor stuffed a pop tart into his mouth, although he was too alert to enjoy the pastry. After going through a box, he got up and opened the fridge, fully intending to grab a glass of milk.

He never got the chance.

The moment he opened the door, something fell on his toe with more force than should be possible. Thor swore and hopped around on one foot, glaring down at his attacker, which was...

"A jar?" Thor asked himself, reaching down and picking up the object. The label read "Saurkraut," and there was a displeasing green substance inside. Before he could observe any more, the jar growled at him and snapped its lid at his fingers.

The god yelped and dropped the jar, which was caught at the last minute by a slender hand belonging to Loki.

"Now, Kreg, what did I tell you about attacking people?" Loki asked the jar—named Kreg—sternly. Kreg growled some more. "That's right. 'Look before you bite someone's head off.' What if that had been me? Would you truly smash your creator's foot?"

Kreg whimpered apologetically while Thor stared in stunned silence. "You—You gave that **thing** LIFE?!" he asked, horrified.

Loki huffed. "Kreg is not a **thing**, Thor. And yes, I did."

"WHY, Loki?" Thor asked, glaring at Kreg, who was smirking at him.

"Quite simple," Loki replied, stroking his pet saurkraut jar, which rumbled happily. "He had extreme potential. I just... let it show."

"You have created a MONSTER!" Thor yelled. "IT NEARLY CRUSHED MY POOR TOE!"

Loki was unimpressed. "That happens sometimes. Kreg hasn't learned to look at who he's attacking yet."

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Thor screamed, running out.

* * *

**Yah. I don't like saurkraut, but for Kreg I might make an exception. XD Sooo... that was random...**

**I had an idea that over the summer I might try updating everyday to cut down on the waiting line...**

**Right, you people know the drill! If you value this story at all, please review!**


	71. Thor vs the lutefisk

**You, my dear readers, are amazing! Truly! I love you all so freaking much! *-***

**Alright, I'll just be quiet and jump right to it... this chappie was requested by... MY DAD! Yup! He doesn't even read this fic... I wouldn't let him...**

**Disclaimer: I make no profit with this story other than happiness. Don't sue me. My readers would hate you if you forced me to stop writing this.**

* * *

Thor awoke to a familiar smell.

He rolled out of bed unusually fast and didn't even bother getting out of his sleep clothes but went straight up to the kitchen, where his godly nose could smell a wonderful thing. He didn't even bother with the elevator, choosing instead to run up the stairs.

He pushed open the door and went into the kitchen expectantly, looking around. Loki looked up at the entry from where he was holding out a fermented fish for Kreg, one hand clamped firmly over his nose. He nodded in greeting as Kreg jumped up off the counter to snap up the fish.

"I am surprised, brother!" Thor said happily as he found the container of fermented fish. "I had thought that you disliked lutefisk!"

"I do," Loki said delicately, "but Kreg seems to be partial to it, and is currently refusing to eat anything else."

Thor beamed, his grudge from Kreg's day of creation forgotten in this new light. "He has excellent tastes!" the god said. "Shall we make a truce?" Thor asked, this time talking to Kreg.

Kreg tilted his lid in a questioning manner before making a series of growls. "He says 'yes'," Loki translated smoothly. "Although I cannot see why..."

Thor ignored Loki in favor of patting Kreg happily on the head just as Tony entered. The genius looked between the two, confused. "I though you two... didn't get along?" he asked, gesturing at the god and the jar.

"No, that is not so," Thor said, sounding confused.

"Okay then," Tony muttered, before clamping a hand over his nose. "God, what is that?!" he asked, making a disgusted face.

Loki opened his mouth to reply, but Thor, for once, beat him to it. "Lutefisk!" he said enthusiastically. "A glorious dish he have on Asgard! Do try some, friend Tony!"

Tony narrowed his eyes and backed away. "Yeah, no, I'd rather not."

Thor also narrowed his eyes. "Try it," he said again, this time with a threatening edge.

The billionaire's face went O.O before he turned tail and bolted.

"FRIEND STARK!" Thor cried, running after him in pursuit. "TRY THE GLORIOUS LUTEFISK!"

Unfortunately for the god, Tony had already made it to his nearest suit and was flying away. Before Thor could go after him, Steve wandered into the room. "What's happening?" he asked with blissful ignorance.

Thor's eyes lit up. "FRIEND STEVE!" he cried, moving towards the super soldier with a fermented fish outstretched. "TRY THE LUTEFISK!"

Steve caught the smell and coughed. He looked at the fleeing Iron Man, back at the lutefisk wielding god, made the connection, turned, and ran for his life.

* * *

Fury grumbled as he entered the Stark Tower. He had hardly stepped in when he was passed by a panicked looking Steve.

"Rogers? What...?" the director trailed off as the man dashed off into the streets of New York. Only moments later, Thor burst in, holding a dead fish in his hand. His eyes landed on Fury, and a very-not-Thor sadistic smile spread across his face.

"FRIEND FURY!" he yelled. "TRY THE GLORIOUS LUTEFISK!"

Fury's face clearly said: "What the f***?!"

* * *

**Booyah! I got Kreg _and_ Fury into this chappie! XD Yay!**

**For those of you who weren't listening (reading) in the last chappie's author note, I will be updating EVERY DAY THROUGH THE SUMMER! But it is not the summer yet, unfortunately...**

**Kreg really wants a review. **


	72. Thor vs the lime marshmallows

**Sorry! I didn't post last Thursday cuz I was just completely devoid of any inspiration whatsoever. So, as always, two requests combined. Just in case it isn't all that clear, the requests were lime and marshmallows. So, lime marshmallows. Hope it's okay!**

**Requesters are TinaWhacksFrostWithMuffin (previously TinaFrostDahMuffinburger) and vamp of alium sativum. So... enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned the Avengers, Odin would die. Unfortunately, I don't. So Odin will continue to live. -_-**

* * *

A lot of strange things happen in Stark Tower. Eventually, Pepper just got used to these strange things. Almost nothing could phase her now. Not even the huge box stuffed full of lime marshmallows that arrived on their doorstep.

Pepper had only taken one deadpanned look at the gigantic package and pulled out her Stark phone. "Tony. You've got mail," she said calmly.

Tony, in retrospect, was on cloud nine. Pepper wasn't sure what he was planning next, but whatever it was, Tony was clearly excited. Because he didn't object, she followed him as he dragged the marshmallows to a huge vacuum chamber. She simply raised an eyebrow as he smirked at her and flung all of the marshmallows in.

"Jarvis?" Tony asked as soon all the light green sweets were in the vacuum. "Tell Thor I need him up here."

"Of course, sir," Jarvis said. Moments later, Thor bounded jovially into the room.

"My friends!" he called. "What is it you require?"

Tony cast him a desperate look that masked the glee that Pepper could see underneath. "Thor! These little green poofballs of death have invaded and taken over that room!" He pointed at the vacuum chamber. "Can you get them out?"

"Of course!" Thor said, puffing out his chest. "I will show you how a warrior of Asgard deals with your petty mortal problems."

The god strode into the much smaller room, and the door shut behind him with an ominous hiss. He was up to his knees in the lime marshmallows. Before he could start vanquishing his foes, though, all the air was pumped out. Thor, being a god, was unaffected by the lack of air. In fact, he hardly even noticed.

He did notice it, however, when the "little green poofballs of death" that layered the floor, that had only a moment ago come up to his knees, were at his hips. As he stared in confusion, the lime marshmallows continued to expand, quickly making its way to his waist, followed by his shoulders. Thor started screaming when the layer reached his neck.

"**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!** SOMEONE HELP ME! MAN OF IRON! LOKI?! LOKI! HEEEEEEEEEELP! THE LITTLE GREEN POOFBALLS OF DEATH ARE CONSUMING ME! LOKI?!"

Unfortunately for Thor, by the time he had gotten that much out, the marshmallows were now in his mouth, muffling his speech. But they didn't go any higher, for that he was grateful for, albeit hardly grateful at all. One couldn't find much to be grateful for when they're up to their ears in "little green poofballs of death."

Suddenly, the air came hissing back in, and the marshmallows shrank down into shrivels even faster than they had grown in size. The door opened, and Thor bolted out, not even caring that Tony was laughing about his "Asgardian warriorness." At this point, he didn't care if these things happened sometimes. All that mattered was that he was as far away as possible from the little green poofballs of death.

* * *

**Oh my gods, I am so evil to Thor! I almost feel bad about it... And for clarification, when you put marshmallows in a vacuum, the air bubbles inside expand, and when you let the air back in, they shrivel up. If you don't believe me, go look it up on Youtube.**

**Since I'm going to be posting a LOT more in the summer, I estimate that any requests requested now will be done in October. It's not great, but at least it's not January, right?**

**I need feedback people! I know I asked this before, but am I being too mean to Thor? Should I lighten up on him? Tell me in a review or PM! I'd love to hear from you!**


	73. Thor vs the scotch bonnets

**Hey there! Here I am! Yay! Hi. I feel weird. Whatever. Just ignore me.**

**Requester is vamp of alium sativum. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I had a dream about someone who could turn into a cat last night. So did my sister, except there were a bunch of people who could, and in my dream the person could only get cat ears, a tail, claws, and the eyes, and it was trying to eat people-sorry, I meant to say that I don't own the Avengers.**

* * *

Bruce should have known better.

No, really, he should have.

But, quite unfortunately, he assumed that since Thor had already faced off things such as jalapenos and poblano chiles, he would just stay away from the scotch bonnets.

Well, it kind of worked. Thor stayed away, but that didn't mean that something wouldn't happen. Because things like that happen sometimes.

And happen it did.

It just so happened that as Thor was passing the scotch bonnets one morning on his way to get a pop tart, he noticed the little stickers on the peppers and stopped to read one.

"'Scotch bonnets'?" he asked himself, confused. "Bonnets for friend Tony's scotch?" he guessed aloud. Deciding that if Tony's scotch did indeed need bonnets, he should put the "bonnets" on the scotch.

The god took one of the peppers and put it in the bottle of scotch behind the bar. He still didn't think that it looked like a type of hat, and he still couldn't understand why a liquid would need a hat in the first place, but simply shrugged, figuring that the mortals would understand better.

Thor moved back to his seat and found a pop tart on which to munch happily. He was on his seventh box of pop tarts when Tony stumbled in, rubbing his eyes tiredly. The genius staggered blindly to the bar and grabbed the bottle of scotch, not seeing the scotch bonnet inside, and drank it down.

Consequently, as he threw the drink back, the scotch bonnet fell into his mouth, and as he lowered his head, his teeth sank into it, releasing the spicy juices.

Tony's eyes got wide and he spat out the pepper he hadn't realized was in his mouth. For a moment, he was too stunned to register the burning in his mouth. "What was a scotch bonnet doing in my drink?" he wondered blankly aloud.

"Are they not supposed to go in there?" Thor asked, brows creased. "But they said that they were bonnets for your scotch."

Tony turned sharply on the god. "So **you** put it there?!"

Thor shifted guiltily. "No...?"

Tony narrowed his eyes. He would let it slide for now—but one day, one day, he would find out who it was and take his revenge. And oh, it would be sweet.

* * *

**There it is! And I still feel weird. Gah.**

**The flamingos are on duty. They will deliver requests and reviews. Yah... I think that's it...**

**HILSENER INKLY DUDELYDA!**


	74. Thor vs the prickly pear cactus

**OH MY FRICKN' GODS I HAVE OVER A 1000 REVIEWS AND IT'S SUMMER AND I'M DONE FOR THE SCHOOL YEAR AND IN CELEBRATION THERE WILL BE NO THOR BASHING THIS CHAPTER AND I'M GOING TO WRITE THE WHOLE AUTHOR NOTE IN CAPS LOCK! YES, THE ENTIRE AUTHOR NOTE WILL BE IN CAPS LOCK! ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?! XD**

**REQUESTERS ARE vamp of alium sativum and Princesa Blanca. I HOPE YOU ENJOY! :D**

**DISCLAIMER: I'M TO FRICKN' EXCITED FOR THE SUMMER AND HAPPY FOR THE REVIEWS TO CARE THAT I DON'T OWN THE AVENGERS! *-***

* * *

It was quite obvious to everyone when Bruce entered the kitchen that he was happy. He had been sent to do the shopping, which meant that he had probably found another exotic fruit he had encountered on his journeys.

And those who thought this were proved correct when Bruce took out a brown paper bag and removed its contents. "...And I got some tuna, for anyone who cares," he said.

Thor, who had grown fond of the Midgardian fish, perked up. "Tuna?"

"Ah," Bruce said somewhat sheepishly. "not that kind of tuna. It's more commonly known as a prickly pear, but it's called tuna in Spanish, so that's what I like to call it."

Thor went over to get a closer look at the pinkish red fruits. "And these not-fish-tunas are edible?" he asked, picking up one of said fruits.

"Yes, but first you have to—"

Thor popped the whole prickly pear in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully. Bruce's eyes went wide.

"...remove the outer skin or else you'll end up digesting the glochids*, which can couse irritation to the mouth and throat," Bruce finished in a deadpan tone.

Thor stared blankly at him. "Forgive me, friend Bruce, but I understood none of that."

"...Does your throat itch at all?" Bruce asked finally. Thor blinked and shook his head.

"I doubt that a few prickles would affect Thor," Loki said, amused. "We are, after all, gods."

Tony whistled. "I wish I were a god," he said wistfully. "Maybe then prickles that SHIELD sends at me wouldn't get under my skin."

* * *

***Glochids are hair-like spines or short prickles, generally barbed, found on the areoles of cacti in the sub-family _Opuntioideae_. Cactus glochids easily detach from the plant and lodge in the skin, causing irritation upon contact. The tufts of glochids in the areoles nearly cover the stem surfaces of some cactus species, each tuft containing hundreds of glochids; this may be in addition to, or instead of, the larger, more conspicuous cactus spines, which do not readily detach and are not generally barbed. (taken directly from wikipedia)**

**I HAVE SO MANY REQUESTS! AAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M GETTING SO OVERWHELMED! AND YET I'M STILL ACCEPTING REQUESTS BECAUSE I'M JUST THAT AWESOME OF A PERSON! :)**

**A REVIEW WOULD MAKE ME EVEN MORE HAPPY, IF THAT'S POSSIBLE! PLEASE? SURELY YOU CONCEIVE I DESERVE IT!**


	75. Thor vs the rambutans

**Whoot! So it is officially summer for me! And I will be posting every possible day of the summer! :D Heh, I guess I'll just shut up now so you can read... :3**

**This chappie of awesomeness was requested by vamp of alium sativum and Princess Lavender Jewel. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Avengers the own don't I. (backwards read.)**

* * *

Okay, so maybe Natasha should have told the others (besides Clint, he was there) about the lychee incident*, but you can hardly blame her for wanting to keep the whole thing hushed up.

And maybe if Natasha had told the others, yet another fiasco could have been avoided. But she didn't. So it wasn't avoided.

But anyway, it was Pepper's fault. Well, actually, that's debatable, but for now we'll just say that it's Pepper's fault. Why, you ask? Read on and you'll see.

"But **why**, Pepper?" Tony asked, gesturing vaguely to the bowl of red fruits she was holding.

"I saw them in the store," she explained, fingering one of the rambutans, "and I just had to get some. They're so cute! They're like little red puff balls."

Tony gave her a deadpan stare. "Really, Pepper? They look more like red spike balls."

"The spikes aren't sharp, though," she defended. "Anyway, are you gonna eat them with me or not?"

"Fine," Tony sighed, following the redhead to the kitchen. "When something goes wrong, though, I am so holding you responsible."

"I can deal with that," Pepper said as she set down the bowl and picked up one of the fruits, popping the white flesh out of its red skin into her mouth just as Thor entered.

"Oh!" he said, coming over to them. "I never did master that skill**... would you permit me to join you?" he asked.

Pepper smiled lightly at him. "Of course, Thor."

Tony had a bad feeling about the god joining them. That bad feeling was confirmed later when Thor had smashed almost all of the rambutans trying to pop the white flesh out of the skin. He still hadn't succeeded.

Natasha entered just in time to see Thor destroy yet another rambutan. Recognizing the situation immediately, she said, "Thor, go give Loki—"

"**No!**" Loki's desperate voice could be heard yelling from somewhere in the tower. "**I'm too pretty to die!**"

Unfortunately (for Loki, not so much for Natasha, Pepper, and Tony), Thor heard this and thought that someone was trying to kill Loki. "LOKI?! ARE YOU IN PERIL?! I WILL SAVE YOU!" he vowed, rushing off.

As soon as the god was gone, Tony looked Pepper straight in the eye and told her, "You are **so** responsible for this."

She shrugged. "I can deal with it. This happens sometimes, after all."

* * *

***see chapter 60: Thor vs. the lychee**

****the "skill" Thor is talking about is popping the white part of the fruit out of the skin.**

**So... the request box is open... just like always... Yah...**

**One little two little three little reviews, four little five little six little reviews, seven little eight little nine little reviews, one thousand reviews and more. XD**


	76. Thor vs the spray-on sunscreen

**I didn't post yesterday. I had a long day at the festival my town holds once a year, and after that I felt too tired to post. So, yeah. Sorry.**

**The original request from TheDirtyTruth was spray tan, but I didn't know what it was and thought it meant spray-on sunscreen, and after I found out I didn't feel like changing/rewriting the chapter. Sorry again.**

**Disclaimer: I have recently found out a glorious fact. Unless you're trying to make money off of Marvel's property, they aren't going to sue you. And since I'm not making money off of this, I am in no danger of being sued. :)**

* * *

It was Tony's fault. Most definitely. Even after the beach disaster*, he had managed to convince everyone that they should go back. Yes, it was definitely Tony's fault.

But then, it was also Loki's fault for teleporting Thor to the beach for them when he used Mjonlir to hide in some random state on the west coast, then left the older god at the beach and left to read a book.

And it was Steve's fault for insisting Thor that he had to put on sunscreen. Even thought gods don't get sunburnt.

Then Natasha made Thor put the sunscreen on when he said that he didn't have weak mortal endurance.

Oh yes, and we can't forget that Pepper was the eternally prepared person that she is and made sure that they brought sunscreen along. So it was her fault too.

And then Clint laughed the loudest when the whole event took place. So, basically, it was everyone's fault.

So, after that recap of the past, present, and future, we come to this:

Thor eyed the cylindrical container critically. "And this—" he gestured to the bottle, "—will prevent the sun from taking its toll on mortal skin?"

Steve sighed. "Yes, Thor, it will. Now put some on," he commanded.

"I have not your weak mortal endurance," Thor said haughtily.

Natasha made a scary growling noise in the back of her throat. "Thor. I don't care if you don't get sunburnt. For that comment, you are going to put the sunscreen on. Now."

Not wanting to cross Natasha Thor turned the bottle around and a around, trying to see how it worked. "Um..."

Seeing his struggle, Tony explained, "See that orange part on the top? Pull that off. Yes, just like that. Now see that white nob? Point it at yourself and press down on it."

Unfortunately, as Tony delivered these instructions, Thor held the bottle up to his face to examine it and pushed on the spray part at the top, causing the sunscreen to spray directly into his eyes.

Thor dropped the bottle in the sand and clapped a hand over his irritated eyes. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! OH MY EYES HOW THEY BURN! THE MORTAL INVENTION FOR PROTECTING WEAK SKIN FROM THE SUN HAS ATTACKED ME!"

Clint fell to the sand in a fit of giggles, gasping, "This happens sometimes, but only to us!"

* * *

***see chapter 69: Thor vs. the ocean.**

**Yah... so, TheDirtyTruth, hope it was okay even though I didn't use your request quite right. You, like everyone else, are free to request something else if this is bad.**

**There is a box. If you looked a little further down on this page, you will find it. Write something into it and then press the button that says "Post Review". Pwetty pwease?**


	77. Thor vs the Cadbury Creme Egg

**Hello! :D So, I'm rather happy with this chapter, and because of that, I'll keep my blabbering to a minimal.**

**This lovely chappie of awesomeness was requested by Kaisha Shiori. I hope you like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: You know, I've written this thing so many times that I really don't have to do it, but I still do... I'm weird that way...**

* * *

Someone must have gotten April Fools and Easter mixed up. Or at least, that's what Thor would have thought had he known what was going on, because Easter, in his opinion, shouldn't be spent by pranking the god of thunder.

But, of course, Thor couldn't **possibly **have known that Tony was snickering—not, in fact, yawning—behind his hand, and that he about to be "Tony'd".

So, of course, he suspected nothing when walked into the kitchen on Easter morning to find several baskets sitting on the counter. Curious, he turned to Tony, who was (not) yawning (not) tiredly. "Friend Tony, what are these?" he asked, pointing to the baskets.

Tony looked over at the baskets. "Oh, looks like the Easter Bunny left us some eggs this year," he observed with feigned surprise.

Thor's brows furrowed. "'Easter Bunny'?" he asked, confused.

The genius gave him a fake look of shock. "What, you mean you don't know about the Easter Bunny?!" When Thor shook his head, he gave a sigh and explained, "The Easter Bunny is a magical life organism that lays chocolate eggs and gives them to people around the world."

Thor's brows furrowed further. "Rabbits do not lay eggs," he said firmly. "And eggs are not chocolate."

"Of course they can, and of course they are!" Tony cried indignantly, then started a long, complicated, confusing "scientific" explanation about why rabbits can lay chocolate eggs.

Greatly bemused, Thor zoned out for the entire thing, until Tony came to his conclusion: "And **that** is why the Easter Bunny can lay eggs with chocolate shells."

Shaking his head to free his mind of the fog that seemed to fill it, Thor managed to say, "I... do not believe any of that."

Tony feigned a look of hurt and placed a hand on his chest. "I'm wounded. But if you don't believe me, why don't you open one of the eggs?" he challenged. "You'll see that only the shell is chocolate."

Though still disbelieving, Thor took one of the brown eggs out of the basket and accidentally crushed it trying to just open it. Yellow and white goo was squeezed through the god's fingers, effectively convincing him that Tony was telling the truth. His eyes widened considerably.

"LOKI!" he screamed, dropping the remains of the Cadbury Creme Egg and running away. "LOKI, THERE IS A MAGICAL RABBIT THAT LAYS CHOCOLATE EGGS!"

Tony fell to the ground in laughter.

* * *

**Heh, a little Thor mind-bashing. At least I didn't make him a complete idiot...**

**Requests are as welcome as always!**

**And so are reviews!**


	78. Thor vs karsk

**Heh, I had a lot of fun with this chappie too, so, yet again, I'm keeping the chat to a minimum.**

**This awesome chappie of awesomeness was requested by: TinaWhacksFrostWithMuffin, I'vebeenLOKI'Dyetagain, Lupin fan1, and Avengerlicious. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I had writing it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't !VOLLEYBALL! own !FLUFFY! the !ELEPHANT! Avengers. I !PLANT! hope I have made myself !FLORESCENT! clear.**

* * *

Steve knew that something bad was going to happen when Thor entered the kitchen one morning with a large barrel and a grin on his face that stretched from ear to ear.

"Friends!" he boomed happily. "My fair mother has sent us some karsk as a gift!"

Loki's head shot up at this, though everyone else was confused. "Really?" Loki asked eagerly, striding over to his brother. "Let me taste, so I can be sure you do not jest."

Thor merely chuckled and set down the barrel as Loki grabbed two mugs from the cupboard and began filling them with the substance in the barrel.

Tony looked curiously over at them. "What's this 'karsk' stuff?" he asked, voicing everyone's thoughts.

"The Asgardian version of coffee and alcohol mixed together," Loki replied coolly as he handed one of the filled cups to Thor. "I believe it would be wise for only myself and Thor to consume it. I have no idea what effects it has on mortals."

"Can't we find out, then?" Tony whined, looking at the barrel with longing.

"Sorry, but no." Loki told the genius firmly before taking a long swig of karsk.

"An' all th' more fer us," Thor added, his words already beginning to slur.

* * *

_A little while later..._

The other Avengers stared in horror as Thor drained the last of the karsk straight from the barrel. The two gods were absolutely crazy, Loki was giggling nonstop and Thor was laughing and hugging Loki and _Loki wasn't getting mad at him!_ This was... wrong, on so many levels.

Loki giggled yet more as he hooked Thor's arm with his own, saying, "Y'know, Thor, we haven't had a real adventure for a while. Let's go fight something!" Then he took another long gulp of the addicting liquid.

"That's a glorious idea, br'ther!" Thor announced, hiccuping at the end of his sentence. "Let's go destroy somethin'! In th' name of Asgard!"

"Whoa, whoa, wait!" Steve said, stepping in quickly. "If you two feel like destroying something, why don't you go be useful and knock down those buildings they're taking down to build the new apartments?"

Loki giggled again. "Ehehehe, sure, let's go do that!" And then he hugged Steve and pulled his brother out of the room.

Steve stared, stunned, as the two gods left. The rest of the mortals dissolved into laughter at the look on Steve's face.

* * *

The random person stared in shock at the two gods that had arrived at the area that they were taking down the old, rotten houses. The taller one had a hammer, and was smashing the wooden dwelling into splinters, while the other one threw balls of green magic at the houses. And both of them were giggling and laughing.

The random person just continued to blink. His only thought:

_What the hel?_

But really, the dude shouldn't have been so surprised. That happens sometimes.

* * *

**Heh, so they were a little OOC, but hey, even gods get drunk/buzzed. XD**

**Requests are always !QUINTESSENTIAL! welcome, but the waiting line is really !HAPPY! long. You have been !LOKI'D! warned.**

**I love !POPTARTS! reviews! Would you be so !EFFICACIOUS! as to give me !PRESENTS! one? ^-^**


	79. Thor vs ice

**Hei! So, yet again, I had a lot of fun with this chapter. It's short, but I'll just shut up now so you can read it.**

**This wonderful chappie of awesomeness was requested by TinaWhacksFrostWithMuffin. I hope you enjoy! :D**

**Disclaimer: On the off chance that there's a Marvel person reading my story, I will repeat: I don't own Marvel. :P**

* * *

Exactly **why** Loki decided to spend a day in his Ice Giant form was a mystery to all save himself. Maybe he was just bored and felt like having a bit of fun, or maybe the global warming was getting to him. Either way, Loki decided to spend a day in his Frost Giant form.

The Avengers stared as he walked into the kitchen on a particularly hot day all blue with blood red eyes. Loki caught the staring and smirked, and they all quickly found something else to find interesting. Thor, however, was the only one brave (or stupid) enough to voice everyone's question.

"Loki, why are you in your Jotun form?"

Loki shrugged. "I do what I want," he said simply.

"O-kay," Tony said, eyebrows raised as sipped his coffee.

Clint got up and passed the Jotun on his way to get cereal, but stopped and suddenly hugged Loki. "He's really cold!" he said happily. "Ah..."

Tony mock pouted. "What, my air conditioning isn't good enough for you?" he teased.

"...You know..." Steve said, eying the god that Clint was hugging, "he might be onto something." The the super soldier stood and also started hugging Loki, who looked caught somewhere between being amused and being annoyed.

Never one to miss out, Tony called, "Group hug!" and joined the three. Loki's lips quirked upwards ever so slightly, which Natasha took as a sign that it was safe for her to join the hug.

Finally, only Bruce and Thor were left. Bruce continued his breakfast, but Thor pouted, trying to find some part of his brother that wasn't already being hugged by an Avenger. "Loki," he whined. "I want a hug too!"

Loki rolled his eyes. A shard of ice grew on his hand, and he tossed it to Thor. "There, put that in your mouth," he instructed.

Thor greedily stuffed the ice in his mouth, looking happy as it cooled him down. Cheered, he bit down and started chewing the ice. Suddenly, his eyes went wide. "AAAAAAAAAAAH!" he yelled. "MY TEETH! THEY FEEL FROZEN!"

Loki chuckled. "That happens sometimes. It's why non-Jotuns aren't supposed to chew ice," he told the god of thunder.

* * *

**Oh, Thor. He should have known better. XD**

**I'm really liking this everyday posting thing... I'm definitely feeling a lot better about the amount of requests. I'll never get through them all, but at least my list won't be quite so long by the time summer's over...**

**Reviewers get to hug Loki! :D :D :D**


	80. Thor vs the jackfruit

**Sorry, this is a bit late, but here it is! :D I think the summer is just shutting me up, cuz there's nothing really important I need to say here... except THANK YOU ALL SO FREAKING MUCH FOR ALL THE REVIEWS! ^-^**

**This chappie of awesomeness was requested by TinaWhacksFrostWithMuffin and vamp of alium sativum. Enjoy! :D**

**Disclaimer: ...I need some more creative ways to say this... I'm running out here...**

* * *

Bruce sighed unhappily. The bad good thing about having been in Brazil for a few years was that he had learned to like many of the fruits and foods there. The downside was that if he brought any of those things to the tower, Thor was acquainted with them and things turned messy.

The doctor looked at the jackfruit, wondering if it was worth the risk. Eventually he sighed and put it in his shopping basket anyway. He knew something bad would happen, but hey—you only live once, right?

* * *

The first thing Thor noticed when he entered the kitchen was the sweet, fruity aroma that seemed to surround the whole room. Dazed, Thor saw Bruce cutting into a strange and unfamiliar fruit.

"Friend Bruce, what is that smell?" he asked distantly.

Bruce looked at him. "This? This is a jackfruit."

Thor came over to look more closely at the fruit. "Why does it create this smell?" he asked, glaring suspiciously at the jackfruit. Then his eyes widened and he took a step back, growling. "It is Freya*! She is trying to put a spell on us! Quick, we must destroy the cursed object!"

With that, the god reached to his belt and pulled out Mjonlir and smashed the jackfruit. He turned to Bruce, triumphant.

"There! The cursed object is destroyed, and we are safe!"

Bruce rubbed the bridge of his nose, making a deep growling noise. "Why do you **always** destroy my fruit?" he asked the god, angry.

Thor gulped. He didn't like the sound of that growling.

* * *

Tony looked up as a Norse god was thrown through his lab. Getting up in an almost bored manner (after all, this happens sometimes), he went to the doorway and put his hands on his hips in front of the Hulk.

"Now, Hulk," he said as if he were reprimanding a child, "what did we say about smashing gods in Tony's house?"

Hulk grunted. "To not do."

"Exactly," Tony said. "I know that Thor must have pissed you off, but I'm sure I've got more interesting things for you to smash. Say, can you come destroy my paperwork for me? That'll be the ultimate excuse: a Hulk smashed my homework!"

Thor got up and quickly snuck away while Tony grabbed the Hulk's hand and dragged him off to smash the paperwork.

* * *

***Frey is the Norse goddess of love.**

**Yep! The Hulk FINALLY makes his appearance! I figured Bruce must get tired of it... every time he brings home an exotic fruit, Thor smashes it... :3 And I couldn't help but throw in a little Tony. XD**

**ALSO! A NOTE TO_ Avngerscrazygal_, A GUEST REVIEWER: Thank you so much for your reviews! I recognize that you have been a regular reviewer for a long time now. And though I encourage and welcome ideas for new chapters, I do not appreciate it when you dump a whole load of requests on me. I have also noticed that some of the things you request have already been done, or are very close to something that has already been done. I do not wish to discourage you from requesting things, but I would like to remind you that this story does not just pop up on the internet. I do have to put thought and effort into these chapters, and I would like it if you recognized that I can't just pull these things out of a magic hat and post them here. Thank you again for sticking with this story, and I hope you continue to enjoy it.**

**Questions? Comments? Ideas? Requests? You can put them in that little white box just below! :D**


	81. Thor vs the fig

**I AM SORRY! Yes, I didn't post. For two days in a row. BUT I HAVE AN EXCUSE! Friday, I thought that my sister and I were going to write another chapter for _Loki and the Avengers,_ but we had no inspiration whatsoever, and I was tired. Saturday, we actually did write the chapter, but I was tired then too. So... yah. That's it.**

**This chappie was requested by TinaWhacksFrostWithMuffin. I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: If you were to roll a pair of six-sided dice one hundred times, the probability of me owning the Avengers (ever) is equal to the probability that you would roll a thirteen. In other words, I will never own the Avengers (ever).**

* * *

Tony was confused.

That was saying a lot, since he was a genius. But Tony was completely and honestly confused as to why his Science Bro Bruce was looking at a fig like it was the most amazing thing since Iron Man was invented.

Hesitantly, the billionaire poked the giant green rage monster. Before he could say anything, however, the lab door opened and Thor bounced in happily.

"Friends!" he called, "The Lady Pepper—friend Bruce? What is that?" the god asked, pointing to the fig.

Bruce's eyes lit up. "It's a fig!" he explained enthusiastically. "They're really amazing! While most flowers bloom outward and turn into fruit after being pollinated, the fig is actually the flower. Well, more a reverse flower, really.

"Although commonly referred to as a fruit, the fig is actually the infructescence or scion of the tree, known as a false fruit or multiple fruit, in which the flowers and seeds are borne. It is a hollow-ended stem containing many flowers. The small orifice (ostiole) visible on the middle of the fruit is a narrow passage, which allows the specialized fig wasp to enter the fruit and pollinate the flower, whereafter the fruit grows seeds."

Thor stared uncomprehendingly at Bruce as he continued his explanation. Tony was now getting interested, and the two started swapping information and comparing theories as to why the fig was the way it was. Thor was quickly becoming extremely bewildered.

Finally, all of the Science-Talk was too much for the god. "I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR MIDGARDIAN FRUITS!" he screamed, fleeing from the room.

"**It's not a fruit!**" Tony yelled after him. "Weren't you listening to Brucey?"

"IT IS TOO COMPLICATED! MY BRAIN IS IMPLODING!" the two Science Bros heard the thunder god scream from somewhere in the tower.

* * *

Pepper looked up as Thor staggered into the kitchen with a look on his face that made him look like he had died.

"Uh... Thor?" she asked. "You okay?"

Thor stared blankly at her. "Sometimes, I wish to be home in Asgard," he said dully, exiting as quickly and quietly as he had entered. He trudged up to his room and pulled out Tangrisnir. He stared at the stuffed goat for a while before bringing it to his chest.

* * *

**...I'm so mean to Thor. Now he's feeling homesick. But maybe I'll have a chapter for him to visit Asgard. He'd like that. :3**

**Requesters should be aware of the long list. Just sayin'.**

**Thor would also like it if you'd review and tell me just how cruel I'm being to Thor, giving him homesickness and only Tangrisnir for company.**


	82. Thor vs the gooseberries

**Hello! I'm back! :D I've started working at a day camp for the week, so I'll try to get these up sooner so I can go to bed early enough. Anyway, I had fun writing this, so I'll shut up and let you read.**

**This lovely chappie of awesomeness was requested by TinaWhacksFrostWithMuffin. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: *gives you the Look* Before you ask: no, I do not own the Avengers.**

* * *

Fury moaned. His mother was evil. This time, she had sent him a basket of gooseberries. He didn't want the gooseberries. Why his mother kept sending him these things was a complete mystery.

Just then, Thor entered. "Furious one!" he called. "I come in the name of my fellow—are those stikkelsbær?" the god cut himself off suddenly, leaning over the director to look into the basket full of berries.

Though confused as to why Thor called them "stikkelsbær", he pressed the basket into the god's hands, saying forcefully, "**Take them!**" and promptly fleeing.

Thor beamed at the generous gift the Furious One had given him. In his opinion, it was very kind. Happily, he took the basket back to the tower.

He entered the kitchen with the berries held aloft, booming, "Friends! The kind Furious One has given us a glorious gift of stikkelsbær!"

The other Avengers looked up. Clint got up and looked in the basket. "Stikkelsbær?" he asked, confused. "These are gooseberries."

Thor frowned. "Berries of Gooses? Your Midgardian names make little sense. Stikkelsbær is a much better name for them."

Loki sighed from the corner he was tucked in and finally lifted his head from his book. "Thor, the Midgardians' name for stikkelsbær, gooseberry, has nothing whatsoever to do with geese."

"Oh," Thor said. Silence. "Why did they name it that, then?"

"Why do you Asgardians call it stikkelsbær?" Natasha asked rhetorically.

"Stikkelsbær translates into 'prickly berry'," Loki answered, returning his gaze to his book. "It is a perfectly reasonable and sensible name for gooseberries, as you call them."

Clint shrugged and pressed the gooseberries/stikkelsbær more firmly into the god's hands. "I don't care what they're called, but I'm pretty sure that you're the only one who wants to eat them," he said.

"On the contrary," Loki said, rising at last from his seat and setting his book down. "I will join Thor in eating the berries."

The Avengers watched as the two brothers munched on the berries. Who would have thought that arguing together against the Midgardians would bring them together over gooseberries?

The five humans shared a look before shrugging collectively. Oh well. That happens sometimes.

* * *

**I've been really nice to Thor lately... besides making him homesick... am I going soft on him?**

**Requests are welcome! Flamingos are always willing to carry requests!**

**Flamingos are also very happy to deliver reviews. However, if you don't review, they will peck you. You have been warned. Don't cross the Flamingos.**


	83. Thor vs the elderberry

**Oh my gods, I am so so so so so so so so so so so SAWWY that I haven't posted in so long! (Three or four days? I dun remember...) I was working at a day camp, and I had to go to bed early, and working with little children can be hard... yeah. That's my excuse. So, sorry.**

**This chappie of awesomeness was requested by TinaWhacksFrostWithMuffin. I hope you like it! :3**

**Disclaimer: I totally own this story! Just not the characters...**

* * *

One thing about Thor was that the word "surrender" wasn't in his vocabulary.

Meaning, even though the last hike he had dragged Loki on was a disaster*, he still decided to try again. Only, this time?

He brought all of the Avengers as well as Loki.

"Why are we doing this?!" Clint whined. "This is awful!"

Thor huffed. "We are on a noble quest, friend Clint!" he proclaimed. "To protect this world, we must first explore it to the fullest!"

"No, dude, we don't," Tony argued, rubbing a hand over his face. "We really don't."

Natasha smirked at them. "Losers," she challenged, "can't take a little walk?"

"No," said Tony shortly. "I've got better stuff to do."

Thor's booming laugh scared away every bird in a ten mile radius. "Worry not, friend Tony!" he said joyfully. "This exploration will take up little of your precious time!"

* * *

_Unbelievably long amount of time later, as the sun is going down..._

"What was that you said about this not taking up my precious time?!" Tony growled at the thunder god.

Yet, still, Thor wouldn't give up. "We shall spend the night under the stars!" he exclaimed, excited.

"Yeah, which is **not** my idea of fun," Clint added, grumbling.

This time, when Thor laughed, there were no birds around to flee. "Worry not, friend Clint!" he said. "Let us get a fire going!"

As Thor was forging the path, he broke off a branch from a tree in his way. Suddenly, Loki let out an unexplained hiss of anger. "**Thor, you disrespectful oaf!**" he spat, going in front of the older god to pick up the broken branch.

Thor looked just as confused as the others. "What?" he asked.

Loki turned and glared at Thor. "I am the god of mischief, lies, and **fire**," he said stiffly. "And elderberry—the kind of plant you have just taken a piece off of—is a type of wood generally used in fire making. As such, I highly respect it, and as you have just thoughtlessly removed a living branch from one such tree, you have insulted me."

Blinking, Thor replied, "...But it's just a tree...!"

Scowling darkly, Loki whacked Thor upside the head with the broken elderberry stick and poofed away. The Avengers blinked, confused.

"Well..." Tony said at last. "It's safe to say that happens sometimes."

* * *

***see chapter 62: Thor vs. the poison ivy**

**So... yah! I'm working at another camp this week, but I shall try my best to post and not be lazy and take a nap on the couch instead...**

**Furthermore, the request box is open. Those who dare are welcome to send in requests via PM or review.**

**And speaking of reviews... *looks down at the little review box suggestively***


	84. Thor vs the ugli fruit

**Whoo hoo! I have posted! *does a happy dance* Just to let you know, I'm working at another day camp starting tomorrow, so we'll have to see how well I do at updates through the week. *nervous glancing* ...Please, though, try not to kill me if I epically fail. Thank you for your consideration.**

**So! This chappie of awesomeness was requested by TinaWhacksFrostWithMuffin. Enjoy! :D**

**Disclaimer: *Frosted raises digital flag of awesomeness* I claim this whole fanfic as my own! *non-existant phone rings and Frosted picks up* Yes? ...Oh. Sorry... *Frosted hangs up and removes flag* Apparently, I only own the story, not the characters...**

* * *

Thor was under the impression that most fruits were colorful/pretty/spikey. That impression changed one day, one seemingly **normal** day in the Stark Tower.

Someone (who shall remain unnamed—it could have been pretty much anyone except Thor) had left an ugli fruit sitting on the counter. Maybe they were getting ready to eat it, but had been called away. Why it was where it was and who left it there and what he/she was going to do with it shall most likely remain a mystery for all time.

But that information is quite irrelevant. The point is, a god walked into a kitchen.

Sounds like the start of a bad joke, doesn't it?

But that is exactly what happened. A god walked into a kitchen. He was just about to reach for a pop tart when he noticed the ugli fruit sitting innocently on the counter. Thor cocked his head and peered at it closer.

Just then, Tony entered. He stared, confused, at the god, who, in turn, was watching the fruit. "Um... Thor?" he asked. "What are you doing?"

Thor barely glanced at him. "I am examining this ugly fruit," he replied.

Surprised, Tony's eyebrows shot up on his forehead. "W-wait..." he said, placing his hands out in a _hold-on-a-sec_ gesture. "You... know that it's an ugli fruit? What, do they have them on Asgard?"

The god finally turned his head to look at the billionaire, perplexed. "No," he stated, "I have never seen such an ugly fruit before."

By now, Tony was starting to freak out. "But you still know what it is? Oh my Norse gods, is the world ending?! I **must** be hallucinating!"

"Friend Tony," Thor pointed out, "one needs only eyes to see that it is an ugly fruit. I am not so ignorant."

"**Brucey!**" Tony screamed desperately. "**Save me from this nightmare!**"

Thor was beginning to get agitated. "Friend Tony, this is getting ridiculous. I believe that we have established that it is an ugly fruit," he said tersely.

But Tony was already gone.

When the (self-proclaimed) genius told Bruce about the fiasco, the Hulk's alter-ego just sighed.

"Surely, Tony," he reasoned, clapping the other man on the shoulder, "that just happens sometimes."

* * *

**Yeah... I had a bit of trouble coming up for the idea for this... but, as it turned out, the only thing I needed to do to get my creativity going was to flop on the floor and complain to my sister about how I had no idea what to do and play around with the whole ugli/ugly pun. XD**

**Requesting rules are the same as always! No major bombardments, and please make sure first that it isn't something I've already done, or close enough to a chappie I've already done. Other than that, go wild and have lots of patience.**

**I have ninja plot bunnies. They never show themselves to me. I've heard that they eat reviews, though. Maybe you can write one? It might lure the bunnies out, and I might actually see them! :D**


	85. Thor vs the huckleberry

**Yes! Boo-yah! I posted! *does a happy dance* XD :D C:**

**This lovely chappie of awesomeness was requested by TinaWhacksFostWithMuffin. I hope you like it! :)**

**Disclaimer: My mom is trying to get me to sit with her on the couch and watch a very awkward tv show episode, so I don't have time to come up with a clever disclaimer. These characters ain't mine.**

* * *

Another thing about Thor was that the word "unwilling" wasn't in his vocabulary, along with "surrender."

So when he proposed yet **another** hike in the middle of somewhere, he didn't accept his teammates' refusals. Of course, he wasn't stupid enough to drag Loki along this time, but the others he simply picked up and took with him.

"This is sooooo stupid," Clint muttered, whacking a branch away from his face as they crawled under a bunch of bushes far off trail. "Thor, next time you drag us on one of these things, I'm gonna whack you on the head with an empty chip bag."

Thor simply laughed. "You mortals and your petty threats are amusing," he chuckled.

Clint bristled. "Yeah, well, I'd like to see **you** come up with great comebacks when you're crawling through all these bushes and there's no way to get through and you're all scratched up and... what the heck are these bushes, anyway?"

Bruce pulled a leaf closer to his face to examine. "Huckleberry," he said at last.

"Whoa," Tony said, "what? Huckleberry Fin? Dude, are you okay?"

The green rage monster's alter-ego rolled his eyes. "No, Tony, I mean that these plants are wild huckleberry," he explained.

"I don't care what it's called!" Clint spat. "I'm not going through anymore of it!"

"Diddo!" Tony called, flopping to the ground.

"I don't think this is good for my temper," Bruce added, sitting down carefully next to the billionaire.

"I need to make sure these boys don't get into trouble," Natasha said, crossing her arms.

"Um..." Steve murmured, browsing his mind for an excuse. "I... uhm..."

Thor glared at them. "Fine, if none of you will follow me on this adventure, I shall continue on my own," he said coldly, turning and continuing crawling through the bushes.

The moment he was out of sight, Clint very hesitantly reached out and plucked a berry off a twig.

Soon, all the Avengers were stuffing themselves with wild berries and laughing.

* * *

_Much, much later..._

Thor stormed into the clearing, covered in scratches and leaves.

"...How wazzit?" Clint asked cautiously as the other Avengers watched the god scowl and huff.

"Let me just say," Thor growled, "that the bushes of huckled berries and I did not get along. Yes, that happens sometimes."

As he left, Tony turned wide-eyed to the others. "He read my mind!" the (self-proclaimed) genius exclaimed. "I was just about to say that!"

* * *

**Yup! I have had first-hand experience at crawling through huckleberry bushes, and I can tell you, it is NOT fun. At all. Thor got to feel my pain... }:3 I'm so evil. XD**

**Requests! Reviews! Love 'em, write 'em!**


	86. Thor vs the orange, part four

**OH MY GODS I'M SO SAWWY D: I'VE BEEN TIRED AND STUFFS AND LAST NIGHT WE HAD GUESTS OVER SO I COULDN'T POST I'M SUCK A SUCKY AUTHOR :'( On another note, if you want to see the cover picture for this story better, I have the link up on my profile. And I got a deviantART account. :)**

**So... this awesome chappie of awesomeness was requested by** **imabitchretardedtartbun1211. I hope it makes up for my horrible posting!**

**Disclaimer: I don't have the right to claim these characters. :(**

* * *

In Tony's opinion, people had recently been forgetting that he was genius.

Sure, he had the occasional bad idea, but over all, he was really f***ing smart and it was about time that people (his fellow Avengers) realized that, he reflected vaguely as he rushed into the kitchen.

"Thor!" he yelled, skidding out of the elevator and completely ignoring all the other occupants in the kitchen except for the god. "Thor, I have an amazing idea!"

The mentioned god looked up. "What is your idea, friend Tony?" he asked with polite eagerness.

Tony stopped in front of Thor and grinned, holding something behind his back. "So, ya know how you and oranges don't get along? And you always want to get your revenge on the 'little orange balls of terror'?"

When Thor nodded, expression turning darker as he thought about the accursed fruit, Tony continued, "Well, I was thinking, and the ultimate revenge would be to eat the oranges!"

The billionaire waited in silence as Thor mused over the idea. "I... that argument is valid..." the god said at last. "I shall try, then."

With a grin that looked like it would split his face, Tony handed Thor an already peeled orange with all its slices separated. Warily but determinedly, Thor took one slice and popped it in his mouth.

When nothing bad happened, the god hesitantly started chewing. Soon, his eyes lit up in triumph. The other slices didn't last long after that.

"YES!" Thor cheered after finishing the orange. "HAH! TAKE THAT, KIN TO THE DECEASED ORANGE BALL OF TERROR! SEE THAT?! I CAN KILL YOU ALL NOW! MWAHAHA!"

And with that, Thor picked up another orange and dug in. Stunned, the observing Avengers stared in shock as Thor ate happily.

Yes, Tony decided, he was totally a genius. And when he was faced with four open mouthed shocked looks, he simply smirked and said, "Billionaire, genius, problem solver, awesome."

* * *

**Yah... short, but hopefully it's pretty okay. *hopeful smile***

**Please note that requests will take a really long time to be fulfilled.**

**...If you don't review, then bad things will happen... very bad things... you have been warned...**


	87. Thor vs the fireflies

**Yes! I have posted! :D :D :D I did it! *does a happy dance* I love you guys so much! *-***

**So! This requested chappie of awesomeness was requested by the requester kimbee. I had fun writing it, so I hope you have fun reading. :)**

**Disclaimer: I've got a jar of dirt! Guess what's inside it! The rights to the Avengers characters! *drops jar of dirt and jar breaks* Oops...**

* * *

A few days after proving his genius, Tony just suddenly seemed to not be around as much. And when he was seen, there was always a smudge of dirt on his face or hands, and the elevator wouldn't take anyone to the roof.

Naturally, everyone had his/her different opinion on what Tony was up to. Natasha and Pepper thought he was planning something, Clint thought that he was trying to torture him by not letting the archer up to the roof, Steve didn't know what to think, Thor was too busy eating pop tarts, Loki was too busy reading, and Bruce just smiled knowingly.

So nobody was really surprised when Tony's voice blared through the tower, saying, "Helooooo, everyone! Get your lazy butts to the nearest elevator to your personal location ASAP! Now! You too, Loki! Put. The book. **Down**. Thank you!"

Steve glanced up at the ceiling and sighed before complying to the genius's wishes and stepping into the closest elevator. Without waiting for him to push any buttons, Jarvis took the elevator up the roof and let the super soldier out. As he stepped onto the roof, however, he stopped and stared, open mouthed.

Soon, Steve was joined by the other Avengers and Pepper, and all of them stood looking around in surprise.

Why, you ask? Because Tony Stark had turned his roof into a garden. Tony. Freaking. Stark. A garden. On his roof.

Yeah... pretty fair to say that they were all flabbergasted.

"So!" Tony said happily, "What do you think, eh?"

"Tony..." Pepper whispered before pulling him towards her and kissing him passionately, causing Steve to blush.

Tony pulled away after a moment and grinned. "Just wait, it gets better," he promised, looking at the setting sun eagerly.

They didn't have to wait long. Soon, little luminescent dots appeared, hovering over the bushes and darting around. Thor gasped, tugging on Loki's arm.

"Look, Loki!" he exclaimed. "Lightning bugs!"

"Whoa, they have these on Asgard?" Steve asked, looking questioningly at the god.

Thor nodded enthusiastically. "Indeed! When we were children, me and Loki would watch them at night!"

"'Loki and I', Thor," Loki corrected. "And they're called fireflies."

The thunder god turned to Loki, pouting, yet his eyes shined with something Natasha couldn't identify. "Lightning bugs," Thor said firmly.

"Fireflies," Loki shot back.

"Lightning bugs."

"Fireflies."

"Lightning bugs."

"Fireflies."

"Lightning—"

Loki cut Thor off with, "How about this, whoever can get the most **fireflies** to land on him is right."

"Challenge accepted," Thor said confidently.

* * *

_Later..._

"I win," Loki said smugly from where he was standing, fireflies perched everywhere on him.

Thor pouted. "You used magic to make the lightning bugs come to you!" Thor accused.

"Fireflies now, Thor. And no, I didn't use magic. I just didn't run around all the time like you did."

"You just got lucky," Thor growled, more defeated than angry. "'Cause it happens sometimes."

* * *

**Yup! I don't _really_ know if they have fireflies in Asgard, but for my purposes, they do. Anyway, this one's longer to make up for the shortie last time. :)**

**Oh, look! A flamingo! Maybe it'll take your request to me if you ask it nicely! ;D**

**Oh, look! An empty box! Why don't you fill it with a review? ;D**


	88. Thor vs the petrified tree

**Okay... so... yah... this chappie's probably going to be really confusing so READ THIS IF YOU WANT OT UNDERSTAND! Once upon a time, I turned my science homework into comics. And one of them I had to do about petrified trees. I didn't know at the time that petrified trees were just trees that had been turned into stone, so I drew my petrified trees with X_X expressions and their tongues sticking out. My sister requested this chapter, so it's basically just one huge inside joke. Just... bear with us, okay? Thanks!**

**Disclaimer: I only own the petrified tree and the (non-existant) plot.**

* * *

Thor had witnessed many strange things in his long immortal life, but this was certainly one of the weirdest, he decided, as he looked around at his surroundings.

The god shook his head, trying to remember if he had gone exploring again. He had no memories of coming to this place. "Um... Anyone? Loki?" he asked to the air.

_Thump._

Thor whirled around, but saw nothing. "Loki!" he tried again.

_Thump._

"I know you are trying to frighten me, Loki!" Thor yelled. "Your efforts will be meaningless!"

_Thump._

"Show yourself, brother! Did I do something to anger you?"

_Thump._

"Do not be a coward!"

_Thump._

"If I have done something to insult you in any way, come out now and we can negotiate!" Thor tried desperately.

_Thump. Thump!_

"Loki! I fear not your petty tricks!"

_Thump! Thump! **Thump!**_

By now, the god was freaking out. "LOKI!" he screeched, looking around the clearing wildly.

_**THUMP!**_

Thor turned around again, and his eyes widened. A shrill scream of terror broke free from his lips.

There, behind him, was a tree.

And it was dead, which was very clear by its X_X expression, and the fact that its tongue was sticking out of its mouth.

_**THUMP!**_

The petrified tree was now directly in front of Thor, who couldn't move an inch. He was frozen. All he could do was stand there and scream as the petrified tree jumped into the air again and squashed him flat—

* * *

Thor woke up with a gasp. He tumbled out of bed and threw his door open, running into the hall and screaming with terror.

"AAAAAAAAAAH! PETRIFIED TREES! PETRIFIED TREES ARE ATTACKING ME! SOMEONE! LOKI! HEEEEEEELP MEEEEEEEE!" he screeched as he ran around the tower in hysterics.

Then he passed out from hyperventilating.

When the sleepy occupants of the tower finally gathered around the unconscious god, all Loki had to say was:

"That happens sometimes."

* * *

**Yeah... one big inside joke. Hopefully you were able to forget how random it was and just enjoyed it.**

**Almost all requests are welcome. Even weird ones like my sister gives me. :P  
**

**Review. Now. If you don't, your dreams will be haunted my petrified trees.**


	89. Thor vs fireworks

**Hello! Sorry for not posting for a few days, my computer was being used by other people. Anyway, this chappie is in honor of the 4th of July, and was requested by DarkMousyRulzAll. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's yet another disclaimer!**

* * *

Hesitantly, Tony peered over the tops of his blankets. He was in bed, which was unusual, since he hadn't gotten this much sleep in a long time. But the genius had a reason for not wanting to get up.

Today was the Fourth of July.

Normally, it was just another day in the year, albeit one with fireworks. But now that he had Captain America living in his tower...

Well.

Let's just say that when Steve broke down his door and dragged him out of bed personally, Tony wasn't surprised.

"Stevie..." Tony whined as said super soldier dropped him in a chair at the kitchen table with the other Avengers, most of whom were looking almost as disgruntled as himself.

"No," Steve said firmly, placing breakfast before everyone. "Today is special, and we are **all** going to spend it **together** as a **team**. Got it?"

"Loki's not here," Clint pointed out glumly. "Why didn't you drag him along?"

Steve gave him a Look. "I would have if he hadn't teleported away," he said in a deadpan tone.

"Lucky him," Bruce muttered, nursing a cup of tea.

Thor looked at the others, bemused. "What, pray tell, is the importance of the fourth day of the seventh month?" he asked.

Steve turned to stare wide-eyed at the god. "You... you mean... you don't **know?!**" he spluttered n surprise. "This is the anniversary date of the great founders of our nation signing the Declaration of Independence!"

Some of Thor's confusion cleared. "Ah! That explains why I did not know; this is not my country!"

Alas, poor Thor. If only he knew how riled up Steve would become.

"**'Not your country'?! 'Not your country'?! How dare—**"

"Jarvis!" Tony said desperately. "Engage Stop-The-Lectures-About-Great-America protocol!"

"Yes, sir."

Suddenly, a fire extinguisher popped out of a wall and sprayed Steve until he stopped talking.

"Good job, Jarvis," Tony sighed in relief.

"**Tony Stark! I am going to kill you!**"

"Oops..."

(line)

_Later, when night has fallen and Steve has gotten over his desire to strangle Tony..._

"Why are we collectively gathered on the roof, friend Tony?" Thor inquired, looking out over Manhattan.

"'Cause," Tony said, sitting back in one of the chairs that were assembled in the roof garden, "this place has got the best view of the show. Light 'em up, Jarvis."

"What, pray tell, do you mean by that, friend Tony—"

Thor was suddenly cut off when Jarvis started the fireworks show, the loud banging of the explosives cutting the god off and making him jump five feet in the air in surprise.

"WE ARE UNDER ATTACK!" the god bellowed, grabbing his hammer off his belt and looking around wildly.

"Nah, we aren't being attacked," Tony said, staring up as more bangs and booms sounded. "These are fireworks. We use them to celebrate the Fourth of July."

"...Fireworks...?" Thor asked hesitantly. He look just about ready to accept this strange new Midgardian thing when yet another bang went off, and he shrieked and ran back inside the tower. The other Avengers stared after him.

"...Thor can't stand fireworks," Clint deadpanned at last. "Yeah, that happens sometimes."

* * *

**Yup! That's all, folks!**

**Requests are welcome! Reviews are encouraged!**


	90. Steve vs the Furby

**Sorry, guys! I just haven't been feeling the inspiration lately... but no worries! I have come back to you with another chapter! And since I know that reading about Thor getting busted up all the time can get boring, I have decided that on chapters such as 90, 100, 110, and so on and so forth, I will jazz things up a bit! So today, you get STEVE VS THE FURBY! XD**

**Anyway, the glorious idea of a Furby was requested by Ghost Rider of the Aragon. So sit back and enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: So, my birthday's coming up, and I asked my sister for the right to own the Avengers, and instead she wrote me this awesome story. Go check it out now, because it. Is. Awesome! It's callled _The Avengers: Lokitty Edition_.**

* * *

Fury hated his mom.

Okay, maybe that was going a bit far. But, honestly, his mom was taking it a bit far, too. Disgusting food? He could plug his nose and throw it out or hand it off to someone (the Avengers). This?

This was just freaking him out.

Fury stared at the Furby. The Furby stared back with half-lidded eyes.

Just then, Maria Hill entered. "Um... sir?" she asked, gaze flicking between the Fury and the Furby.

"It's staring at me," Nick muttered. "It's staring with it's soul-piercing eyes."

"Sir...?" Maria asked again. "Are you okay?"

No reply.

"Director Fury?"

Suddenly, Fury cracked. "**I can't take it anymore!**" he screamed, throwing the Furby over heads of the surprised agents on the bridge, where it sailed through the air and hit Steve, who had just walked in, on the head.

"What the...?" Steve murmured, picking up the Furby. His eyes went wide as he stared at it. At that moment, Tony and Thor entered, and Steve turned to them. "What's this?" he asked, panicked.

"That," Tony answered, narrowing his eyes at the stuffed animal, "is a Furby. A toy rather popular with the children of modern day America."

If it was possible, Steve's eyes went wider. "These are **popular?!**"

Tony shrugged, ever nonchalant. "Popular enough to sell."

Steve turned his head back down to stare at the Furby in horror. "Gone are the good ol' days of Candy Land and Slinkys..." he said remorsefully.

Thor clapped the captain on the back. "That happens sometimes. Dwell on it not, friends Steve!" he advised wisely.

* * *

**Yup! Poor Stevie... and yes, Thor was totally like "Dude, suck it up." XD That was fun to write.**

**Requests are part of what keep this story going! The day I run out of requests to do will be the day this story ends. Luckily, I'm not going to run out of requests any time soon... XD**

**And Reviews are the other part of what keeps this story going! Without your continued support, I would have stopped writing long ago. As long as I'm getting feedback, you're getting more chappies! :)**


	91. Thor vs the orange sherbert

**Okay, so, this isn't my best work, but I'm tired and I wanna go to bed, so I'll keep this short.**

**This chappie was requested by Kaisha Shiori. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own.**

* * *

As summer picked up in New York, it was only a matter of time before someone facilitated an ice cream eating contest. So when Clint came into the kitchen one day tugging a wagon full of huge ice cream containers behind him, no one thought that he had suddenly gone insane.

Well.

Insan_er_.

"Ice cream eating contest!" Clint crowed as he passed out huge tubs of ice cream out, randomly selecting flavors for everyone.

Tony leaned over and smirked at the ice cream Clint had shoved into Loki's hands. "Blueberry," he said, gesturing to Loki's blueberry ice cream and grinning. "Rather fitting, right?"

Loki didn't grace him with a reply, only an icy, superior look.

Thor read the label on his ice cream tub and frowned warily. "Orange sherbert?" he asked. Hesitantly, he stuck his finger in and drew it across the surface of the frozen treat and tried it. His face became bemused. "This tastes nothing like the little orange balls of terror!"

Frowning, Natasha leaned over and tried Thor's ice cream as well. "You're right," she remarked, turning to look at Clint. "Couldn't you have gotten better quality ice cream, Barton?"

The archer shrugged. "I just grabbed stuff off the shelf," he defended. "And I don't have any extra flavors, so unless anyone wants to trade with Thor...?"

Nobody did.

"...He's stuck with that," Clint finished.

Thor pouted unhappily, but readied himself as Tony cried, "Ice cream eating contest starting now! Three, two, one, zero!" And, of course, Thor shoved down his orange sherbert, despite not liking it.

* * *

Unsurprisingly, Bruce was the first one out. He hadn't entered the contest with gusto to begin with, anyway.

* * *

Clint dropped next, only a small fraction of the way into his tub. He was soon followed by Natasha, who shot everyone a look that said, _just wait until we have an alcohol drinking contest._

* * *

The next to stop was Tony, who was saved by Jarvis just when he was starting to look sick, as the AI said that he was needed in the lab to take the fire extinguisher away from Dummy. Thus Tony was able to back out gracefully.

* * *

Loki stopped about halfway finished with his container, say that he was done indulging in the "mortal sport," as he called it.

* * *

Steve had to drop out three fourths of the way through his tub. Thor, ever wanting to prove himself, soldiered on.

* * *

When he done with his tub, Thor suddenly leapt from his seat, face green, and rushed off to the bathroom. Moments later, loud retching could be heard. It appeared that the god of thunder didn't have the stomach for a huge bucket of cheap, unnaturally flavored orange sherbert ice cream.

But oh well. That happens sometimes, right?

* * *

**Yah. *shrugs* You can tell me if it's any good or not. Good night!**


	92. Thor vs the cough drop

**Um... hi... *ducks underneath the table to avoid the pitchforks* I'M SO SAWWY! I FEEL AWFUL! My Muse left me and either took vacation on Hawaii or was stolen by Loki, and as a result, I haven't been feeling like writing, so I haven't posted. *sniffs* Sawwy again.**

**But to make up for it, I will be posting three chappies of awesomeness tonight. Yep! :D So, the first of three was requested by vamp of alium sativum. Enjoy!**

**OH! I ALMOST FORGOT! IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY JUST A FEW DAYS AGO! XD YES! And if you haven't checked out the birthday present my sister is writing for me, go read it. Now. It's called _Avengers: Lokitty Edition_.**

**Disclaimer: Clearly, someone who can lose his/her muse cannot possible hold the ownership to the Avengers.**

* * *

No one had thought that it was possible. Well, actually, that wasn't true. None of the mortals of Midgard had thought that it was possible for the mighty god of thunder to catch a divine cough.

But he did.

So, yes, the might Thor was currently sitting on his bed, feeling miserable and constantly coughing.

When Thor had complained about him being the only one who was sick, Loki had simply smirked and told him that only Asgardians could catch this sickness.

"But you are Asgardian," Thor had said grumpily, with an edge of confusion on his voice.

"Ah, but you forget," Loki had spoken lightly to him, smirk widening, "that I am not Asgardian. I am, in fact, a Jotun, and therefore cannot catch your virus."

So that left Thor with being the only sick person—sorry, god—in the tower.

Just then, Pepper pushed the door to Thor's room open bearing a cup of water and what looked like a mortal candy. Thor accepted the water gratefully, but looked warily at the candy.

"What is that?" he asked, pointing to the suspiciously colorful foodstuffs in Pepper's outstretched hand.

"It's a cough drop," she replied with a smile. "It should help your throat a bit."

Thor thanked her as she took her leave, and carefully unwrapped the cough drop. He sniffed it experimentally, before deciding that anything that smelled like cherries could hardly be dangerous and popping it in his mouth.

He had no time to savor the taste, because at that moment, Tony burst in. "Thor!" he yelled excitedly. "Did you know that Loki is supposed to be Odin's blood brother?"

Startled by Tony's abrupt appearance and confused by his words, Thor breathed a sharp, involuntary breath, bringing the cough drop to the back of his throat. Thor gagged, his face turning red as he chocked on the cough drop.

Tony, thinking that Thor turning red was a reaction to his announcement, continued, "Yeah, I know! Doesn't make sense, does it? But that's what the mythology books say! Hey, do you wanna hear what else I read? Some people think—"

But the the man was cut off when Thor coughed the cough drop back up and spat it onto the floor. Tony blinked and looked at the cough drop.

"Oh, wait, you were chocking on that?" he asked the god.

Thor growled threateningly. "Obviously!" he spat.

Tony suddenly looked thoughtful. "You know, coughing up something that's supposed to help your cough seems pretty ironic, right?"

Thor glared at him with enough anger to have whithered a less persisting man.

"Hey, it's cool," Tony said neutrally, holding up his hands in surrender. "That happens sometimes."

* * *

**Yup! One down, two to go! See ya in a moment! XD**


	93. Thor vs the pomelo

**Yep! Here I am again! XD I'll just shut up so you can start forgiving me sooner. Yeah... read on!**

* * *

Even after Thor had finally recovered from his divine cough, he still wasn't his loud, boisterous self. He had taken to moping around the kitchen and avoiding anything that was small, colorful, and edible (mainly, cough drops). It was enough to elicit a small amount of sympathy from his fellow Avengers.

And Natasha, though seemingly a mindless assassin that followed SHIELD's orders, had grown fond of the small family that now lived in the tower. And though Thor was annoying and nosy, she too wanted him to stop looking so miserable, if only so that they would stop feeling guilty about laughing at him after the cough drop incident.

So when she passed the fruit isle in the store while on a grocery run, she couldn't help but smile and grab a pomelo in passing and put it in the cart. Since Thor had gotten over his fear of oranges, citrus was slowly being reintroduced and returned to the tower. Maybe a new citrus fruit would cheer the thunder god up.

* * *

Thor was, as per usual, sulking in the kitchen when Natasha walked briskly in and tossed him a light yellow fruit. He caught it easily and stared at it for a moment.

"What is this?" he asked at last, turning to the woman for an explanation.

Natasha smiled. "It's a pomelo. Mostly, it tastes like an orange, just a bit less sweet."

Satisfied, Thor grinned his thanks and tried to peel it, a frown creasing his brows when he couldn't. A determined look entering his eye, Thor tried harder and ripped a chunk of peel off.

* * *

_A while later..._

Thor and Natasha both stared at the god's work. The pomelo had become mutated beyond repair as the god had attempted to peel it, and chunks of white inner peel still remained. Juice dripped down the counter and down Thor's fingers.

To say it in a nut shell, it was a mess.

Still, Thor reached a hand in and scooped the unrecognizable fruit into his mouth, juice dribbling down his chin. Then he tried to say something with his mouth full of pomelo that was undecipherable.

But Natasha didn't need to be able to hear what Thor had said. His meaning was clerar: _That happens sometimes._

Just then, Tony entered. He stared at Thor.

"Wow, you're a mess!" he exclaimed, smirking at the god, who glared back. Then Tony walked over to the counter and sat on it. And on the puddle of pomelo juice.

Needless to say, Tony wasn't laughing anymore.

* * *

**Two down, one to go! C:**


	94. Thor vs the play-doh

**And here it is! The third one for the night! :D ...Shutting up now.**

* * *

Our childhood passes so quickly. It is often taken for granted, and yet there is little time to value the innocence of youth.

But sometimes...

Sometimes, even gods can learn to be innocent children again, if only for a moment.

* * *

"What is this 'play dough'? Is it not a waste to soil bread dough by playing with it?"

Pepper looked up from the book she was reading to see the god examining a small, colorful container of play-doh skeptically. She sighed.

"Thor," she explained gently, "It's not real dough. That's just what they call it. And it's actually some type of clay-ish stuff that you can mold to make it look like things. Here."

She took the container from the god and popped it open, taking a small amount and rolling it into a ball, then flattening it. With her nail, she traced a star in the middle and a circle around it, then another circle around that.

"See? I made Steve's shield! Now you try," Pepper said, crushing the mini shield and passing it to Thor.

Thor's brow creased with concentration as he made a sloppy rectangular prism and attached a small handle to his mini play-doh Mjonlir. "I made my hammer!" The exclaimed, waving it in the air with a goofy smile on his face. Then his large hand crushed the hammer.

Frowning, Thor tried again, this time to make a version of his helmet. The wings didn't turn out right.

Play-doh!Sleipnir only had six legs.

And the play-doh Asgard got stepped on when Thor stood to find someone to show it to.

"This isn't working!" Thor said exasperatedly, but he was smiling happily. Pepper watched fondly as the god built and rebuilt thing after thing and always destroying his own creations.

Just then, Tony entered to sit down next to Pepper, and stared at the Thor, who continued to play.

"He acts like he's just a kid, doesn't he?" Pepper said happily.

"Sure does," Tony agreed. "Just give a god a thing of play-doh, and poof! Instant happiness!"

Pepper smiled at him. "That happens sometimes."

* * *

**That's all for tonight, folks! XD I'll try to write soon!**


	95. Thor vs wasabi

**Hello! :) Yah... dunno what to say here... sorry for not posting every day of the summer like I said I would... I'll just shut up now...**

**This chappie was requested by: Alexisagirl. Have fun reading!**

**Disclaimer: If I had a dime for every time I have to write this thing...**

* * *

Really, the whole incident had started out completely innocently. Clint hadn't even been purposefully **trying** to prank Thor. It had just... happened. Because that happens sometimes.

Anyway!

"Sushi!" Clint announced suddenly, bounding into the kitchen with a box in hand.

Natasha glanced up. "Really, Clint?" she asked, lifting an eyebrow loftily.

"But of course!" the archer said, grinning.

Thor, who had been devouring a pop tart, looked up,crumbs in his beard. "What is this 'soo-shee'?" he asked.

Clint gaped at him a bit, then facepalmed. "Darn, I forgot, Asgardians don't know what sushi is," he grumbled, before brightening. "That's okay! We can show you! Sushi is... uh... sustenance."

"Oh," Thor said, nodding understandingly.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Stop trying to explain it to him, Barton, just give him one to try."

The archer saluted smartly. "Aye aye, ma'am!" he said, taking the lid off the box and holding it out to Thor, who took one warily and examined it. "Oh, c'mon, Thor, just eat it already! It's not going to hurt you."

Still looking wary, Thor popped the sushi in his mouth. For a second in time, he just chewed thoughtfully. Then his eyes widened and his hands jumped up to plug his nose. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" he screamed. "IT BUUUUURNS!"

The god ran to the sink and started rinsing out his mouth, and Natasha turned to Clint. "What did you do?"

Clint's expression changed from surprised to guilty. "Oops... I like my sushi with wasabi," he admitted. "I guess that Thor doesn't."

"No sh*t, Sherlock."

As the burning in his nose went away, Thor turned back to Clint angrily. "YOU SAID THAT THE EVIL SOO-SHEE WOULD NOT HURT ME! YOU LIED!" he screamed, charging forward.

A O.O expression on his face, Clint started running, trying to escape the angry god. "**Natasha! Heeeelp meeeee!**" he pleaded, dodging a punch from Thor.

"I think I'll just watch," Natasha said laxly, leaning back. "This is amusing."

"**But it wasn't my fault! That happens sometimes!**"

"Still not gonna help you."

"**Tasha, I need you!**"

"That's cute, loser."

* * *

**Yup! *pops the "p"***

**If you want to request something that hasn't already been done, feel free!**

**And reviews are great! I love reviews! I just haven't been feeling in a really social mood lately, so I haven't replied to any reviews or PMs in forevah... sorry 'bout that... :(**


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